Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)  (Read 2954811 times)

tellomon

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I do not discount human death.

I hide from it
and pretend I report it.

I won't dance with Grim. E. Reaper.

2 Left-feet MoFo...!!!!


Image is an unreasonable facsimile.
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tellomon

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Anybody wanna chat with Sherry?

I have her hostage with snow berms here.

Christmas without Merry.

This is Sherry.

Woot!
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tellomon

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My BEST Life's Skill is Trailer Park Survival.

I use my drums for raised-bed gardening.

Yankee smarts
Oz farts.

Or something, whatever....you.
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tellomon

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I have it all....
I got nothing.

50/50..

Whacked !

Love is in the Ramen.
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*CountessA*

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If you have drums for the garden, Mary Mary would like to perform a duet with you. She will play the silver bells.
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*smee*

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She can be quite contrary though

tellomon

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I see a pattern emerging here.

Nevermind the random topics and blood.

You are Tag Teaming the Ron.

Bold.
Unique.
I dint piss in that car.
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tellomon

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Let's talk shop!
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tellomon

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Let's report heat.

I got plenty.
Wanna Trade?
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tellomon

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No Crystals.

Incense.
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tellomon

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I was CORRUPTED by the Hippie Movement.

Tye -Dye is a Racket.

Invest in Hippie Van tires.
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tellomon

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Show the money you don't have.

Who is gonna tell?
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tellomon

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Flakes can be snow or skin.

Science, man......
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tellomon

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Duzzint matter what I post, the hits keep coming.

And it's WRONG!

Surrender your name and be done with it!
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tellomon

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Don't and I'll Blog it.

Dead Air, that one....
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tellomon

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INITAIATING DEAD AIR PROTCOL

 :oops:
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tellomon

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Don't "get in line".
You are the line!

1081596 Views
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*CountessA*

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A man came rushing in to a police station. "Everywhere I go, they're following me!" he hissed in a terrified whisper.
The policeman looked at the man, looked outside, and looked back at the man. "You are in a conga line..."
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*smee*

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tellomon

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Christian Guilt.

Yeah, that's it!

I really wanted to drop out of Sunday School
but the Evil Overlords of Culley prevailed.

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tellomon

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I soooo stole smee's last post.
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tellomon

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Do I understand correctly now
smee and Tessa have to
hold hands as they visit me
together.?

That's not policy or house rules.

It's your sick, twisted minds in overdrive.

It's ok, I like it.

It's something I would do if
Tessa would hold my hand!
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tellomon

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Slip and Fall.

Your Claim is null and void
if yer caught with
your shoes untied.
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tellomon

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I made a new friend today.

A snow shovel
powered by
Louie Farfan.

He showed up
shoveled down.

Best $50 USD I ever spent this week
and it's only Tuesday.
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tellomon

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Louie Farfan

Louie sent Yesterday at 8:09 PM
Hi there any pics on the job needed done?

You sent Today at 1:50 AM
No pix. SUV in a berm. 30 minutes dig out. price negotiable.

Louie sent Today at 7:07 AM
Yes I can do that this morning for $50, extra if it's needing to break ice around snow as well. Please let me know and I'll come out

Louie sent Today at 7:25 AM
Please let me know asap so I can plan on it thank you

You sent Today at 12:16 PM
hello!

Louie sent Today at 12:21 PM
Hi there

You sent Today at 12:23 PM
can we snow

Louie sent Today at 12:23 PM
Can I clean up the snow? is that what you're asking?

You sent Today at 12:24 PM
yes, dig out a car in berm.50 bucks

Louie sent Today at 12:26 PM
Yeah send me the address please

You sent Today at 12:26 PM XXX San Bernardino Sugarloaf. When can you  come?

Louie sent Today at 12:27 PM
I'll be there in 20 mins

You sent Today at 12:27 PM
great thx!

Louie sent Today at 12:27 PM
No problem be there soon

Louie sent Today at 12:43 PM
Is this the proper address?

You sent Today at 12:44 PM
I cant see map XXX San Berdoo near clark

Louie sent Today at 12:46 PM
Ok.i found it be there soon

Louie sent Today at 1:38 PM
Right outside

You sent Today at 3:08 PM
I advertised for you on the mountain page:

I found a snow shoveling guy Louie Farfan. High recommend this one! Good to go for you!

A Professional courtesy to ya!

Louie sent Today at 3:30 PM
Thank you very much that is greatly appreciated 🙏

You sent Today at 3:36 PM
I got ya bro!

Louie sent Today at 3:45 PM
🙏


THIS IS AMERICAN COMMERCE AS TELLO PLAYS IT!
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tellomon

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It's a wonderful world
50 bucks at a time!

USD
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tellomon

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Tomorrow
I drop a dime. USD

See who confesses first.


 :doa: :roflmao:
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tellomon

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Today, I dropped a load.

Test driving my new RV Loo.

It checks out.
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tellomon

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Tonight, I plan to drop my facade.

Send back up
and Party Girls
after Sherry returns to Valhalla.

No wait!
Nevermind.....
  :jandoor:
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tellomon

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In retrospect
Sherry has feelings for me
no matter how I felafelup my reputation.

Exhibit A:
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tellomon

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She owns the joint.
I just PAY attention....


Talk about "survival mode".
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tellomon

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I live on Easy Street
but it's a dirt road.
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tellomon

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If it's any consolation
the road is gravel, not clay.

You can drive here, but why?


Not for the 196 *snipe*.
I own this one!
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tellomon

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And in other news, smee and Tessa are an ITEM!

Let the gossip run wild!

I can't care.


Drama vs. Snow.

Snow wins!

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tellomon

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Snow IS Drama.

Ask The Donner Party
and have a drink.

And NO! Do NOT ask about Jerky.....

(Dental Records are not going to help here.)
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*CountessA*

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CountessA is certainly not listed and there's no item number.


I don't know about Smee, but if you do find him listed somewhere and buy that item, I suspect he would not be a happy chappy once you receive the parcel.

I'll bet Clayton would be included as a free extra gift - complete with all the organic fertiliser you could ever EVER want...
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*smee*

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If Tello needs organic fertiliser he just wipes his chin

tellomon

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Thank you, Ingrid!

I appreciate that.

What did you say?

That Strine Accent threw me off....

And I see you have your pet smee to follow up nicely.

It's a good act. We could Capitalize on this if you don't choke out.....
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tellomon

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I have always relied on you people;
you have seldom given me a reason to TRUST you
except for that one time when BAIL was an issue. :)

NOW ITS ALL BIZNISS AS UNUSUSAL....
   :badfinger:

What is a Clayton?
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tellomon

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I get pooMails.


If you are having trouble viewing this email, click here.
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“Out, out, damn poop!”
- With apologies to William Shakespeare’s
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 1)
A medical study recently has confirmed what you may have always suspected: that most people are full of ... well, poop.

In a study of autopsies, examiners found that 90% of the cadavers’ colons held an average of 5 to 20 pounds of hardened, decayed feces which were encrusted in layers on the intestine walls.

Extrapolating this on the living population, it means that a staggering number of adults (including you) are walking around with a backed-up bowel that holds pounds of old, impacted feces that is protruding their bellies and secretly making them ill.

This was confirmed by a European medical study which found that a whopping 62% of adults whom doctors examined had an average of 10-12 pounds of residual fecal matter buildup in their large intestines and rectums.

Obviously, the majority of people today are not completely emptying their bowels of noxious waste products everyday as nature intended.

But when the doctors gave these poor people a treatment of a special all-natural colon-cleansing substance (not a laxative!), their bowel mass was reduced from 42% to 17%. This is an amazing reduction!

Not only were they able to completely empty their bowels, but this do-it-yourself treatment re-established their natural bowel rhythm so they remained “clean and regular” afterward.

In addition to much easier bowel movements, the patients reported feeling thinner, lighter, healthier and more energized.

Click here to read about the powerful “colon cleanser” that’s so gentle, you can use it every day until you’re “naturally regular” again.
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tellomon

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I buy fat guns, not that ^ stuff.

If you poke them in the belly
they giggle.
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tellomon

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Yo, Ingrid!

I need more Slaughterhouse Rules.

CYE! soon.

Ya did good, job not done.

I sooo suck at genius I failed to be logical and safe from harm

I got harm 24/7 right now.

I deserve it.

God is sitting this one out.

Sherry is in my bed.
Wearing a Parka.
Cursing the snow and praising my Mr. Heater.

Warm is a Premium, not a Right.

#we are cozy
   :thanks: :lmao:
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tellomon

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I fail to see how Human Comfort is a crime.

You watch, it will be.
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tellomon

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I will donate blood if that's what it takes to keep My GF warm!

Or I can hijack a propane truck, that's easy....

Me and my crew shut down the Ice Cream Truck, remember?
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tellomon

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tellomon

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Sherry is in my bed.
Wearing a Parka.
Cursing the snow and praising my Mr. Heater.

Warm is a Premium, not a Right.

#we are cozy
   :thanks: :lmao:

Is Mr Sticky there too?

tellomon

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Nun ya bizniss M8!

Thx for stickybeaking us!

Where is your partner...opted out?
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*smee*

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Lol


Tello jerky

tellomon

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LO Tessa L!

(Tello Jerky is currently in
R and D mode.
NOT promising, better to forget it...)
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