Tales From The Narc Side

[tellomon]

Page 21 

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[tellomon]

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[tellomon]

Do narcissists know or
realize they're narcs?

Narcissists, sadly, are a shallow shell of a person. They only exist by deluding themselves into believing they are better than everyone else around them. They are so pumped up by the people they snare into their snakepit with lies, manipulations and occasional intermittent reinforcement of a follow through on something they promised they would do for you, that keeps you bound to their promise of good things to come..."Future Faking".

No, they do not know or care to see the truth about themselves. They only care to hear that they are the most wonderful person in the Universe and are the smartest cookie in the room and will repeatedly tell you how lucky you are to be in their fold.

Of course they are delusional.

Your luck will come into play when you get out of their toxic clutches. They only see themselves as perfect, as smart and as a winning human being. You better never contradict them on this either if you want to keep your head on straight. They will slander you, tell lies about you and even if you do give them what they want to hear, it is never enough.

They will be dismissive to you.
Always DISSmissive. Ask Ron Tello about Sherry, he'll tell ya!

What a narcissist knows is how to con people, how to pretend they are better than they are, richer than they are, smarter than they are and more clever than anyone they know. They are all ego and no intellect. They create chaos and they are masterful gaslighters.

They will never allow themselves to see themselves as who they are.
So, the answer is NO.

They are unwilling to see the truth about who they are.
They can't.
An important brain function was not created as they were growing up. They are missing the link. There basically is no hope that they will ever change. In the words of George Harrison, “Isn't it a Pity, how we make each other bleed?…Isn't it a pity?”.
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No, they don’t because they don’t really believe anything is wrong with them.

But I will say that they do know right from wrong and everything that they do to hurt people is done intentionally. This is why they go out of their way to lie and cover up the truth.

This is why they discard you or ghost you once you rip off their mask. Some people believe the narcissist creates a “false self” during their childhood in order to be safe. Hell, I disagree. It’s not that the narcissist wears a mask to feel safe, the mask is there to prevent you from seeing who they truly are as horrible creatures.

If they were unaware of their doings then what’s the purpose of telling endless lies to hide the truth, discarding the other person/family or going ghost in relationships once the mask is removed?

No, they don’t know that they are narcissists because they think that they are right and always try to play the victim. They feel nothing is wrong with them but everything is wrong with you. They are very childish and have immature ways that remind you of an angry little child who is upset with you for not becoming the mommy/daddy that they’ve always wanted.

They live their lives eternally wearing a loaded diaper. You can smell it but you can't change it.
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It’s very easy to know if you are Narcissistic. Do you have feelings? (Narcissists don’t)

Do you care about people close to you? (Narcissists don’t)

Do you lie constantly and cheat on your significant other as often as you can?
Do you try to make your significant other feel bad about himself/herself?
Do you use gaslighting, triangulation and nonsense to confuse people that are close to you?

You get the picture now, right?
Only Narcissists do those things. Us regular folks don’t.

And to answer the other part of your question, I truly believe they know exactly what they are doing but THEY DON'T CARE. They get off on it. It's their Magic Elixir of SUPPLY. It makes them feel superior to you. They are sick people.

Diagnosis for you: RUN!

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-or-realize-theyre-narcissists?no_redirect=1

[tellomon]

"They lost the privilege of being in your life."
How to Separate Yourself From A
Narcissist & End The Relationship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVTBfPpz3yE

@shawnadeyo
4 years ago
You don't realize how peaceful your life can be until you get rid of the narcissist for good. You may even feel bored for a while and think that you miss the narc but stay away! That feeling will pass and you will be so thankful for getting out of that toxic mess that was NEVER a relationship. It was you who wanted a relationship. All they wanted was someone to fulfill their needs. And you were it. As soon as you stop doing what they want you to do, then you become their #1 enemy.


@somebodysfalling
5 years ago
“Human Crazy Glue” ...best description I’ve heard in a long time for understanding how difficult it is to shake them and break away. They will pathetically plead to keep you and to change, only to turn around and punish you ten times harder than before because you had the “audacity” to think you deserve not to be controlled by them any longer.

Run and do not look back. It’s much more peaceful sleeping on a bare floor far away than to give them one more opportunity to hurt you, to steal from you, to hit, scream, throw rocks, try to jump out of your moving car while you’re driving, try to run you off the road while they’re driving, on and on...

Their level of crazy when emotionally injured knows no bounds. They will burn it all down, killing you and themselves in the process if you let them. You can stay on the crazy train and watch as they sink the whole damn ship, drowning right with you. Or you can simply grey rock them until they limp away. Do not feel guilty for saving yourself.


@bybyana26
4 years ago
When I tried to break up he got on his knees crying that he will commit suicide! He did that several times he’s still alive! Don’t believe them! F*cking COWARD!!

[tellomon]

"Truth be known...I am a SCOOTER NARC. I showed it on YouTube".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1edu34umzE&t=4034s

Thomas Mess
Mini bike

Shane Rockbass
Hell yeah brother lol

Kristina W.
That's smaller than my Hondamatic.

WVU Earl
Love it great bike.

Doyle Coody
Hey two wheels is two wheels.

Maryann Gambino
That's it! I'm getting my pink Vespa.

Seventh Dimension
Hey if it works for you, you're good brother! Respect!

Ronald Culley
Thankyouverymuch!

[tellomon]

Narcissists weaponize confusion against people. When they make you feel out of balance they think they won. It is sad. There is no way to communicate with someone who makes everything into a power struggle.
Stop Trying To Outsmart Narcissists
(Intelligence Is NOT The Key!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VToZHsx2A_k

@eagleeye2300
22 hours ago (edited)
Trying to understand crazy will make you crazy. Forget resolution....Heal by acknowledging that you got duped, you got used, you got betrayed and injured, and MOVE ON.

And...beware the re-test. Until you change from the inside out...the narcissists will keep coming. You have to accept, for your survival, that for the narcissist this is all a game and more importantly...that they want you fatally disabled mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

You have attributes that they do not...And therefore if you won't give over to them in subservience (which will escalate constantly...) then you must be destroyed. This is fact. It will NEVER change.

[tellomon]

So simple! So powerful! NO is a complete sentence.
Narcissists & The Power of No

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy-q0DIhlO0

@debraanchante3661
2 years ago
It sounds so simple to just say no.. but it’s not that simple. Some narcissists are abusive if you say no. It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you know what’s coming if you do. It’s still a choice, but not much of one. The best thing to do is RUN.. that’s what I finally did.


@thelittleshamanhealing
2 years ago
It is definitely not easy to say no in these situations; most narcissists are abusive in some way. It's absolutely true that the healthiest choice in these situations: is usually choosing to say NO to the relationship and / or to interacting with this person.

This video is not saying we should or shouldn't say no to narcissists, though. That is up to each person in each individual situation. It's really about understanding that you have the power to do so.


@ua2381
2 years ago
It's like anything where you take back your rights. It involves summoning up all your courage. If you truly are in danger the better choice is not to poke the bear, but to use that courage to leave. 

Then use your courage next time in the beginning of recognizing a narcissist and say, "No!" Practice that courage and your ability to set boundaries by saying, "No!" to future narcissists. Practice your boundaries. Chances are you'll run into narcissists even after you've left one.

It takes summoning courage but the rewards are astronomical. So if you feel you can't safely say it to the one who has already taken so much from you that's okay. Just practice that skill with any future narcissist you encounter.

[tellomon]

The Little Shaman


Sunday RePlay Marathon: Masterclasses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5oOVpfWPXs

[tellomon]

5 Unusual Actions Only
Sigma Males Do

Sigma males are known for their strong and bold personas, characterized by traits that often seem unusual to others. These distinctive personality traits set Sigma males apart, defining who they are.

With their distinctive and bold traits, Sigma males often engage in behaviors that seem odd to others. They are independent thinkers who prefer solitude, embrace challenges, and prioritize personal satisfaction. Their unique habits may confuse people, but they stay true to themselves.

Let’s go over 5 unique actions that are worth understanding. So let's dive into the video and explore them further.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WStLtjaBAyg

[tellomon]

How Narcissistic Evil
Corrupts Your Goodness

Some narcissists are so committed to dominance that they become evil, unable to see your humanity. When this happens, their attitudes and behaviors can have a corrosive effect on you. You can't allow that to happen. Dr. Les Carter tackles this difficult topic by highlighting ways to combat the narcissist's desire to corrupt you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtwSrXZKyyo

[tellomon]

.

[tellomon]

"This is a BIGGIE with me. The root of her evil in a whinge".

Why does a narcissist repeatedly say you don't love me?

Reverse psychology.

I tell you you don’t love me, you do your best more to prove me you do. I get more out of it.
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Because they flip everything. You don’t love me means I don’t love you. You are crazy means they are crazy/paranoid/cheating… See it now? Their A.I. Hive Mind is reversed from ours.
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Narcy says “you don’t love me”. Why?

There are a few reasons why. First, a narcissist does not realize that other people do not think the same way that he does. Narcy does not love “a person” but rather how that person makes him feel about himself. Narcy doesn’t realize that what he experiences as “love” is any different from what others experience.

But Narcy isn’t entirely wrong either. We did not fall in love with Narcy at all. (Or anyone else for that matter) We fell in love with the way we were being treated and how that made us feel about ourselves. We associate those feelings with THAT person. Narcy never makes that connection.

We dont fall in love with someone who starts off hating us and abusing us do we? Nope, we sure as hell don’t.

It really bothers Narcy that nobody sees “him”, and all they really see is how he treats them, and what he “gives” them. To him, that makes love “fake”, and a “lie”, a false construct.

And if I had to make an educated guess based off off of my own experiences, its THAT very concept that kicks off all the nonsense…the mind games, the little tests to see how you respond, the devaluation, the abuse. All of it.

And he doesn’t care about “the love you feel” because he has learned that all he needs to do to “replace you” and that “fake love” is to repeat the process of “treat them well and make them feel good about themselves” with someone else and BAM there's that big L Word again. Its all so easy. Too easy. And we wonder why they think its a game?

Its a game to Narcy because he cannot feel the same things that you do. And he cannot see “you” anymore than he believes you “see” him.

He cannot “relate” to your emotions because he cannot experience them for himself to understand that love is not a lie, or some false construct. Its a very real and powerful force of nature.
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Personally (although I am not a professional with training in this area), I think that people with narcissist personality traits have an enormous need to hear how important they are — and especially how important they are to their target (you).

This kind of validation is so necessary that they will continually badger you to say it over and over again. So by saying “You don’t love me!”, they trigger you into professing your love for them.
______________________________________

Part of the answer is most likely because you don’t adulate them like you used to. You stopped saying “ you are so amazing” and switched it up to “I love you”.

That is offensive to an adulation whore who doesn’t even understand what love is. They just know they hate it. Like advanced calculus.

The other part, for my answer at least is…

Because there is nothing there that is worthy of love.

They know what they are. What they’ve done.

They are wormy with deceit, and have slathered their souls in sin.

They’ve seen to this by embracing only selfish instinct, and never nourishing their soul. Never cared to give, and bask in the glory of our intended brother and sisterhood.

They’ll think even less of you if you insist that you love them.

Might even think YOU are delusional.

Quit poking them where it hurts.
_________________________________________

It means he/she wants more 'proof' of your absolute adoration and loyalty to THEM and ONLY THEM.

It also means he/she wants the undeniable 'right' to do or say whatever he/she wants, whenever he/she wants, with whoever he/she wants, treat you any way he/she wants, and all of this with your 'total support' as 'proof' that you 'love' them.

It means he/she wants you to 'try harder' to 'prove' that you love him/her and ignore the fact that by the SAME STANDARDS of your 'proving love', he/she is OPENLY 'showing' that he/she has absolutely no 'love' for you.
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It’s kind of like they need the other person to keep proving it to them. Or because the other person made them feel a certain way so they feel offended by that person even though it’s a person who is supposed to care about them. So the narcissistic person might feel this ‘bitterness’ or almost like a childish type of anger. This is usually more with vulnerable narcissism.

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-repeatedly-say-you-dont-love-me

[tellomon]

How can anyone treat someone like this and be human? This is such cruel BS. That is sociopathic.

Why Narcissists
Hate and Love You?

The Paradox of Love and Hate: Why Narcissists Display Both.
Have you ever wondered why narcissists seem to oscillate between loving and hating you? What drives this contradictory behavior and how does it impact your emotional wellbeing?
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm84SIws3FU

[tellomon]

It's a really hard pill to swallow, but it's true, they do not care if you live or die....

The Narcissist Doesn't Care About You!

You mean nothing to them.  The narcissist doesn’t care about you and they never will.  Even though they love bomb and try to convince you they love you, the narcissist doesn't care about you because the only person they truly care about is themselves. 

They don't care if you are happy and they also don't care if you are upset.  The narcissist and lack of empathy they experience doesn’t allow them to be able to care about your emotions and experiences, good or bad. 

Did the narcissist ever really like me, though? If the narcissist is no longer love bombing and starts to use their narcissistic punishment tactics, you may wonder if they ever really liked you or if it was all a lie. 

Does the narcissist love me or does he really not like me? Does he not like me anymore because of something I did or for some other reason? More importantly, did the narcissist ever really like me?  If you question can a narcissist care about others then you likely already know the answer to that question. 

The narcissist isn’t caring about you now and they also won’t care about you in the future. You mean nothing to them when you no longer serve as a benefit to them. The narcissist doesn't care about you as a person and only cares about you when they need to control and manipulate you so they can use you in the future. 

The relationship with a narcissist is a toxic relationship. Their abuse, but also their love bombing, is part of the control tactics of the narcissist and the way in which they protect against narcissistic injury and narcissistic collapse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3P6YShRCu4

[tellomon]

They always have a ready lie or excuse to shut you down. Almost like they KNOW when they screw up & are just waiting for you to bring it up!!

WHY NARCISSISTS WANT YOU TO KEEP YOURSELF SMALL

@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
"Oh, Waaaaaaaaa..."
That worked.
Once.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK-Wj1b084s

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

"A tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny"
Stop Trying To Be The Good Guy With Narcissists

@Narella_Haici_369
58 minutes ago
Moral of the story is, once again, that NO ONE’S opinion of us matters more than our own. Period. But it has helped me to know that there are far more people in this world than just one delusional narcissist (and the few enablers he has in his corner) who see me for who I really am.

I hope all victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse have at least one person in their life who truly sees them too, because it is so important to have community when we are in recovery. Thank you LS for another important and great episode! Your voice of reason is so validating, and your words are like medicine to our wounds. Bless you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZRTQG7w1jw

[tellomon]

How can narcissists be so uncaring?

FOR THE LAST TIME,

Because they're sick.

Just kidding of course, this will hardly be the last time.

Anyway,

Narcissists aren't normal people who refuse to care about you.

They're abnormal people who cannot, even if they would want to, which they never would, care about you.

They have a different neurology.

They're neurodivergent.

Their brain is set up in a way that they can only care about what makes them feel good, which is exitement, or instant gratification, if you will.

So once your period of providing them that instant gratification is over, you're felafelled.

They will not and cannot care about how that makes you feel.

They then proceed to drag you through the pits of hell because you're standing in their way.

They don’t wanna listen to whatever tf your problem is.

They wanna felafel left right n center and treat you like a crackhead from hell, without the hassle of you not believing their lies and expecting decency.

That's it.
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Most of them are not uncaring on purpose, I don't believe, but they are just too self-centered to be anything else but. Their levels of self-absorption are near 100% I'm sure, leaving no time or space to give you or your feelings a glimmer of a thought. Everything in their life revolves around them; the sun literally rises and sets on their proverbial ass, as the saying goes.

They will stop a conversation in mid-sentence if they sense it's drifting away from them, or their name hasn't come up yet. They are not interested in you, per se, just what you can provide for them, be it flirting, sex, ass-kissing, ego-stroking, $$$, status, etc.

Start talking about yourself for just a minute, and their beady little eyes will start drifting, losing interest. But to a normal person like most of us, they come off as uncaring and unfeeling. Really, it's just plain old indifference, or to put it more directly: they don't give a sh*t.
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Narcissists are actually heartless pieces of sh!t.

They pretend to care, but they don’t.

They pretend to relate, but they don’t.

A parasite will always mimic symbiosis with its host.

To resolve the dilemma, you must become detached and psychopathic:

Dissociate. Depersonalise. Dissemble.

Because if you dare to share your heart with them, they will tear it to shreds.

They are angry, empty vessels who simply mirror where self-worth lacks in your life. Demons in human form.

If you feel angry and violated for no specific reason, like you have to justify or explain your existence and behaviour, then congratulations: you’re in the radius zone of a narcissist or a narcissistic frequency.

So basically open up and share your beautiful heart and soul to those who are WORTHY, SAFE, and ON YOUR LEVEL OR ABOVE.

As Lord Jesus Christ said: “Cast not thy pearls before swine.”

https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/How-can-narcissists-be-so-uncaring

[tellomon]

Why don't narcissists like seeing you happy?

Narcissists are pathologically envious and jealous people. Anything that makes you happy—narcissists don't like it. Whatever things you like to enjoy, narcissists don't like it. Narcissists will never allow you to do anything that you like and enjoy.

Narcissists want to see you unhappy in relationships; they don't want you to enjoy your life, friends, hobbies, activities, etc.; they create conflicts on purpose so that your focus shifts to conflicts instead of having a nice time. Your happiness makes narcissists frustrated.

Deep inside, narcissists are irritated, empty, and full of hate. Narcissists just can't live happily, so they remove all their frustration on you. Narcissists feel good when they see you miserable and sad. Making you unhappy makes narcissists feel power and in control; it gives them narcissistic supply. Narcissists feels happy when they make your life miserable.

Narcissists will ruin the happiness of every person they are close to.
______________________________

They are quite happy if it benefits them. Did you win the lottery and are now going to share your winnings with them? Did you inherit a new home? The narcissist will be "happy" for you because it means more supply for them.

They are not happy if you win, and when nothing is in it for them. Then they become very unhappy and try to destroy you. It could be anything from getting a degree in chemistry that they always wanted, or buying a new car that they desired, one that doesn't belong to them.

The irony here is that narcissists like to pretend they are always happy. This is that fake mask they wear, the perfectly happy guy or gal who is always fun at parties, magnanimous, and popular.

They are “grandiose.”

The happy routine is their mask of sanity, it hides the rotten core within and who they really are.

This is why genuine happiness irks them and makes them feel like lashing out at you. They aren’t actually happy, they are empty, shallow, and deluded.
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Because their goal is to control you, compete with you, and make you as miserable as them.

All of this is harder to do if you’re vibrating at a higher level.

EDIT: Unless God tells you otherwise, I’d like to encourage you to pray for narcissists. That doesn’t mean you should stay in relationships with them. What I mean is let’s fight back by not being overcome with evil, but overcoming evil with good.

Pray that God doesn’t give up on them. That He grants them repentance and changes their hearts. No matter how we’ve been hurt, let’s seek to forgive those who hurt us. Jesus forgave us. Let’s forgive others.

Keep shining, beautiful person. God loves you so much. If you only knew…
______________________________

Look...

You are a mirror

They hate themselves and you need to mirror back to them that they are okay for all of their bad deeds.

That all of their outrageous behavior will be validated.

It's hilarious to be around because they just never felafeling stop until they illicit a reaction out of you telling them that how they think is okay.

If you don't mirror back to them that they are perfect then you are nothing.

To hell with you having a difference of opinion.

Time for your daily devaluation and eventual discard.

They can't wait for your misery at this point because you have betrayed them for being human.

https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Why-dont-narcissists-like-seeing-you-happy

[tellomon]

What happens when you send a narcissist to jail?

He goes to jail and is super pissed at you. Narcissists aren't known for accountability. So regardless of what he did to get himself there, he's blaming you and only you. If he beat you up, in his mind, it's your fault that happened because you made him angry.
_______________________________

I did this to mine. Its not pretty. If you go NC with one even if they have new person, they get mad as hell. Its ok when they dont respond but god forbid someone do it to them. I told mine i was done, went NC. He was at my door yelling at me `your going to talk to me`. I refused~he went into rage, without realising people were watching started throwing me around like ragdoll in front of neighbors and children.

The neighbors called police, he was arrested. Here is the funny part, it was my fault he hit me, my fault he went to jail, my fault he's on probation &cant carry a gun for 2 yrs. So be prepared, it can get scary, i was. One thing that helped me what a very good friend said to me. ~Don't back down, they may not like you, but they will respect you~
_______________________________________

Forgive me for saying this but lets hope they throw away the key or better still they begin to rot!
_________________________________________

Just be ready for your life to be miserable. That's huge narcissistic injury. I wish I had known it at the time but I was clueless. I know I did the right thing by law. Had I known I would be victimized over and over I probably would have done things differently. By that I mean I would have disappeared off the face of the earth.
____________________________________

THE VIOLENT NARCISSIST WOULD BE INCARCERATED.

And might be put on some meds if they misbehave.

Which could temporarily make them more docile.

Or they could send them to solitary everytime they misbehave.

The violent narcissist would try to contact anyone they've ever known to get them to put money on their books.

They'd be a lot nicer than they were while free.

Then when the violent narcissist gets released again,

They'd start violent narcissisting again,

As if they never left.

That's pretty much it.
_____________________________________

Life is going to seriously suck for him until he figures out how to manipulate the people around him to get his supply up and running again. He will likely glom onto some of the crazy women who have a thing for men in prison, and begin corresponding with them for additional supply. NPDs are highly creative at squeezing supply out of seemingly thin air.

https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-send-a-narcissist-to-jail

[tellomon]

4 Wicked Tactics Narcissists Use to Avoid Accountability

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHRSftUocnU

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

They hate themselves!!
10 Reasons Narcissists
Hate You

10 They envy your success
9 If you ignore them because you have a life
8 Narcissists blame being looked down upon
7 You seem happier without them
6 A narcissist is jealous of you, who you are, what you have, your skills
5 They need to feel superior
4 Saying "no" or "you're wrong" will enrage them
3 They can't accept that they make any mistakes, not even a small one
2 They envy your self confidence
1 If you are loyal to anyone they don't like (this is just about everyone)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaV-EqkZtAA

[tellomon]

When is a narcissist dangerous?

Narcissists are always dangerous in some way. They never have good intentions and always want to control and use others. They stay true to their nature.

Narcissists are toxic individuals for many reasons. They will take everything they can from you. They drain your energy, making you feel tired when you're around them. They try to take up all your time by constantly contacting you or showing up unexpectedly, even when you're busy. They may seem generous at first, but they will try to make you pay for things or pressure you to quit your job so they can take care of you.

They will try to isolate you from your friends and family, then spread lies about you to them. They claim to dislike drama, but they actually enjoy causing it. They create conflicts and gossip among people and pretend they had nothing to do with it. In reality, they are often the cause of turmoil, misunderstandings, and broken relationships.

Being around a narcissist feels like being in a horror movie. It's like they bring destruction and danger wherever they go. They can make you feel like you're slowly wasting away, just like a disease. They are truly destructive and harmful. Many personal accounts on platforms like Quora confirm this sad reality.

I have never heard anyone say that being in a relationship with a narcissist was enjoyable, healthy, or beneficial. Anyone who claims otherwise is either a narcissist themselves, extremely dependent on others, or willingly accepting abuse.

Perhaps the better question is, "When is a narcissist not dangerous?" It's hard to think of a time when they aren't dangerous—maybe when they're sleeping, in a coma, or no longer alive.
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Simply put, any time that you don’t kiss their ass and reassure them they are always right and the best person in the world, possibly the universe.

Questioning them, disagreeing, not giving them mahoosive snaps when they expect it, which is all the time, even if done with huge diplomacy, will culminate in, at best, a cold shoulder on par with the iceberg that sank the Titanic, being ignored to the point where you feel you’ve become invisible, or at worst, being subjected to the narcissistic rage, shouted and screamed at, gaslighted into believing what they just did, they didn’t do, or what they didn’t do, they did, (either way you are ‘crazy’ and you’re wrong), and huuuuge guilt trips thrown at you that are so disproportionate to the actual ‘crime’ you’ve committed, you could be forgiven for believing you’ve just shot their grand mother.

If you find yourself subjected to any of this, run a MILE, break all contact, and thank your lucky stars you have escaped with your sanity…!!
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Before I knew that the word Narcissist existed I told my wife a few times that I considered her to be the most dangerous person that I had ever met. I told her that because of the shear number of accusations she would make against me as if they were facts. Also due to the fact she had sucker punched me in the face approx 15 times at that point while accusing me. Little did I know that shortly there after she would further prove that point by bringing false domestic violence charges against me……..twice. The twice part is my fault. I returned home thinking love would conquer our issues. silly me

To answer your question, a narcissist is dangerous as long as they are breathing.
-----------------
A narcissist is always dangerous. They are dangerous to anyone who is unlucky enough to have even the most casual interaction with them, and more so to friends, coworkers, neighbors and associates and family. They are extremely dangerous to anyone with whom they have a romantic relationship, their children, grandchildren, and other family members. Children are at especially high risk of narcissistic abuse and they are a captive audience who can't escape. Children of narcissists may become narcissists themselves, and if not will likely still suffer for their whole lifetime.

If you know a narcissist no matter your relationship with them, they are dangerous to you. Don't work for or with them, date or marry them, move in with them even without a romantic relationship (ie. roommate or friendship). You will suffer for it. Their abuse ripples out from them and affects many, even some who have never met them. Narcissists are toxic. That's why so many are damaged by them even though they are said to comprise only 1% of the population. Avoid them like the plague and protect others from them.

https://www.quora.com/When-is-a-narcissist-dangerous

[tellomon]

What is so dangerous about a narcissist?

Narcissists are dangerous because they are evil in human disguise. The sole purpose of narcissists is to destroy your life by taking everything from you. You will give love, care, trust, loyalty, and honesty to narcissists; in return, they will give you only abuse. Narcissists main motive is to see your downfall and destruction. Narcissists come into relationships only to feed on you. You give everything to narcissists; they take everything from you, and then they destroy you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

After taking everything from you and destroying you, they will blame you and spoil your reputation. Narcissists will move on to the next person by acting innocent and victim.

Narcissists are evil; their sole purpose is to take everything from you. It's the mask, which doesn't allow people to see who they are. If you remove the mask of narcissists, then you see nothing but only evil.
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They are professional brain damagers, can torture better(cause more pain) than the people who tortured witches back in the day, without putting a finger on them, murderers by pushing their victims to actual suicide because they lack empathy & lack any morals at all so therefore don't have a limit with how far they push those limits, pushing their victims right over the edge, they cause people to go insane. They don't just damage or break minds, they obliterate the mind & the heart to smithereens.

So yeah, great fun people to be around & look up to cuz they are so goodlooking & charismatic & cool as a cucumber. Not having a care in the world that they have a long line of people in their past & present who's lives & reputations they either destroyed or killed.
_______________________________

They are masters in the art of deception. They know just how to butter up to people getting what they want & then dumping them or sucking them dry of money, love, material possessions, maybe some of these things, maybe all & more! What more? Their self esteem, their social status, their friends, family… their prey may not ever recover from the losses & trauma incurred.

https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist

[tellomon]

How would a narcissist act if you press charges on them for harassment?

THAT'S WHEN THEY’LL BACK OFF.

Narcissists only go as far as you let them.

They're extremely overconfident.

Mainly due to your clown slave behavior.

It's taught them that you'll pretty much accept anything.

And that you'd never think to harm them.

That's why narcissists are always extremely indignant and shocked once
you f*ck them up.

Some quotes:

“I can't believe you did that to me.”

“I never expected you to be such a bad person.”

“I would never do that to you.”

“I trusted you.”

All of this after they’ve tried to f*ck your life with the fury of hellfire.

Yeah, narcissists think you're a f*cking loser.

And when you show them that you're not,

Is when they finally cut their f*ckshit.

You should try it.

Have a great day.
___________________________________

Disbelief and anger is what they feel. “HOW DARE YOU REPORT ME” Revenge is in the back of their minds so your only option from this point on is NO CONTACT at all times and that means in every way possible.

No social media, no info from friends or their flying monkeys, nothing at all. If anyone opens their mouth up about him, tell them to shut up you are not interested in knowing. Then move on with your life. This shows them you have your POWER back and they are not going to take you down no matter what.

Stay strong.
________________________________________

They have no conscience, so they will not feel anything! Remember, you are dealing with a sick plastic person that easily adapts to any situation. They would make friends in jail and have the policemen totally befriended before you can snap your fingers!

They would have everyone believing you are crazy and hysterical and how in the world had this fabulous person got mixed up with you. You will be lucky if he does not pull something to get you arrested ! What they get in situations like that they turn and give back ten fold!

Remember and print this wherever you can see and read several times a day! You can not beat a narc! You will never win! They are never sorry! They will not change! Your only hope for full survival is to outlive them and/or get away from them! It’s hard because they make you addicted to them and the pain so you keep going back again and again ! Which is toxic for you, your loved ones and your health !!!

https://www.quora.com/How-would-a-narcissist-act-if-you-press-charges-on-them-for-harassment

[tellomon]

Do narcissists ever care?

Yes!

There are 3 main things that mean the world to the Narcissist, because if they don’t have at least 2 of these things going for them, in their eyes, they have nothing.

The things Narcissists care about are very self-serving and superficial. But they are a true reflection of their Narcissistic Insecurity and the emptiness they have inside.

1. Image.

So, the first thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their image. The way they look, dress, etc. Image is everything to a Narcissist. Sociopaths, on the other hand, would have no issues rolling out of bed and walking to a corner shop all ruffled and unkept because they do not care how they look or how they are perceived. They make an effort only when it suits them.

But Narcissists, especially in their prime years, are obsessed with looking good and appearing to have it all. The Covert Narcissist, specifically, is very strategic with what they allow people to see about them. When they walk out of that door, they see it as a performance. Everything has to be in line with the image that they are trying to push.

Narcissists invest time, money, and energy to look good and get people to think quite highly of them. Everything they do is to improve their reputation and status. And the only people who get to see behind the disguise are those closest to them like their partners and children.

2. Narcissistic Supply.

The second thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their Narcissistic Supply, which usually comes as a result of that fake image that they have created. They need attention, compliments, and praise to feel good about themselves.

They need to know that they are loved by the masses and held in high esteem. They also need that dark Narcissistic supply that they get from hurting and betraying those that they claim to love.

And in order to get this, they have to deceive people into getting into a relationship with them. The amount of effort the Narcissist puts into getting their Narcissistic Supply is enough proof to show how much it matters to them.

With Narcissists, people are just a means to an end, and that is why they are not able to truly love or care for anyone. Because all they want from us is their Narcissistic Supply. It makes them feel powerful and in control.

3. Money & Power.

The third thing the Narcissist cares about is Money and Power. Money helps them to boost their fake image and purchase more and more stuff to distract from their miserable existence and try to make themselves happy. They refuse to accept that money cannot buy happiness. So, they are driven to be successful so that they can have more.

They have also realized that with more money, they can have control over more people. They can use their finances to keep certain people in their lives. And with money, as with everything else, the Narcissist cannot have enough and is never satisfied with what they have. With more money comes more power, and Narcissists take pleasure in controlling the lives of people and being feared.

Narcissists are weak, insecure, and highly dependent on the people around them to make them feel better about themselves or distract from their inner turmoil. So, they do care about their fake image as this is their green card to get access to more people.

And more people mean more Narcissistic Supply. Narcissistic Supply is the Narcissist’s fuel for life.

And finally, money and power are tools to help them gain even more control, maintain their image and provide further Narcissistic Supply.
___________________________________

Yes

They care about these things:

Their looks
How others perceive them
A person to have meaningless sex with.
Money
Control
Power
Status
Attention
Adulation
Having no rules and following no laws.
Endless drama and negativity
Gossip
Pitting others against each other
Watching you fail and be in pain because of them
Winning

What they don’t care about is:

You
Your family
Love
Connection
Reality
Decency
Conviction
Morals (they have zero)
Your success
Your sanity


________________________________

Narcissists care about being better than you. Narcissists must always be better than somebody, many different people, many times a day.

They know this has happened when they make your face fall, bunch up, tighten, when they have removed happiness from you.

You didn't do it to them, they did it to you — they're better.

This is why you can beat them by being obnoxiously cheerful about your life, what you are doing, what you are about.

As Narc Survivor says, narcissists are about nothing.

It causes them to lose — you're feeling better, and it makes them feel worse. They feel like victims, like the most unlucky people in the world (there's been a mistake, they should be ruling us all) so they can't stomach your enjoyment of life whatsoever, you're a nobody, you're not allowed to be happy.

That's all they care about, being better than others, every miserable moment of every sad little day. It's a compulsion for them, to see the look of pain on the faces of the defeated.

They lack something called empathy, they lack it because they do not have the grey matter to fuel it. Empathy for a narcissist is like your tail bone, vestigial, of no use for your intents and purposes.

Narcissists want to be better than you. Empathy is being the same. It's understanding, appreciating, commiserating with, sharing with, cheering with — caring about the feelings of other people.

It all goes on in a part of the brain that does not work in the Narcissist, the Left Anterior Insula Cortex.

Narcissists only use other people to get high. Hurting their feelings makes the Narcissist ecstatic. Emoting together with them would only get in the way of their drug addiction.

Narcissists cannot care for others any more than you can hang from a tree by your tail.

https://thetoxicnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-care-7

[tellomon]

Is a narcissist only using you?

Yes, the narcissist will continue to use you until you use them back.

The narcissist knows a lot about you. You probably opened up and told them about your desires, sins, and weaknesses in your desire for their fake affection. Now they know how to easily trigger and manipulate you.

But you can use the narcissist to become a different person.

Do the things they hated. Make it impossible for them to come back. They tried to sabotage and stop your efforts, so that you became miserable and dependent on them - like an empath. Once they reduced you to that, they went to find more people like you.

Don't be an empath - break free!

Remember what they promised you and what they prevented you from doing. Return to your life with full force. You're not a loser empath who needs a "healed narcissist" to give you fake affection all the time. You're a superhuman.

The narcissist showed you what to do by trying to stop you from doing it. Use that against them.
______________________________________

Of course.

And they only use you, because you let them.

Narcissists use one natural flaw against you again and again, which is –

the fact you like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Narcissists know you try to find the good in people, and so you will give them the benefit of the doubt again.., and again...., and again.

And when you've had enough of the inconsistencies, unkept promises, words conflicting with actions..., then –

they master-mind an elaborate excuse for their toxic ways, in the hope you revert to your old ways of trying to find the good in them again.

Narcissists use your most humane traits against you, teaching you a hard truth to accept.

When dealing with the most toxic, manipulative ones, you must not see them or treat them as normal human beings.

You must not allow them access to your inner core, or life. Instead, leave them at the most superficial levels.
______________________________________

If they’re are in fact a narcissist then they are using you. Someone with no love or empathy has nothing and I mean nothing positive to offer. Their endless cycle of idolize, devalue, discard, hoover and repeat is all they know.

It’s always give give and give with a narcissist, you never get anything in return apart from emotionally abused. They have used the people before you, they will use you and the people after you. Like a hamster on a wheel going round and round but not actually getting anywhere.

If they haven’t yet reached the point of discard get out while you can, there is nothing in the near future that will prepare you for what it will end like. Get out while you can, you’ve already began to ask questions this means you know something is wrong. Listen to that inner voice, I wish I did.
____________________________________

That’s all they do. That’s it…everything. They are born to use. They are born to use and they lack gratitude. They’re too superior for gratitude in their own minds. Add the fact that they have no empathy and you realize that you’re dealing with a very dangerous person.

It’s no joke. These are the people in the evolutionary chain that never made the leap…to feeling real emotions and holding themselves accountable for anything. Human predators that lack souls are the most dangerous creatures that live.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Is-a-narcissist-only-using-you

[tellomon]

What words do
narcissists hate?

1. Whatever.

Narcissists need to know what's going on with you. They want to see if you're reacting to what they just said or did. They can't handle not knowing how you feel. They need to be sure about how they're affecting you. If you act neutral or say "whatever," they see it as an insult.

To them, it's like you're saying, "You're not important, you don't matter to me," or "What you're doing has no power over me." Deep down, they worry that they're stupid or worthless, and when you say "whatever," it triggers those fears. They feel shame, and their go-to reaction is rage. So when you say "whatever," you're making them feel small, and they can't stand that.

2. Disagree.

Narcissists can't handle disagreement. In a healthy relationship, it's okay to disagree because it helps the relationship grow. People have different opinions, and that's normal. But for a narcissist, your disagreement feels like a threat.

They think they're better than everyone else, so when you disagree, it's like you're challenging their superiority. Even if you try to be polite, saying "I disagree" will trigger them. Once they hear that word, they're done—they won't listen anymore.

3. Goodbye.

Narcissists have a fear of abandonment, but it's not the same as the fear other people might have. For them, it's about being left in the middle of something important, like proving they're right. If you walk away during an argument, you're basically saying, "You're not important enough for me to listen to."

This is a huge threat to them. They might lose control, break things, or follow you around until you listen to them. If they feel abandoned, they have to be the one to abandon you first. It's their way of saying, "How dare you think you can leave me? I'll leave you first."

4. Later.

Narcissists are all about instant gratification. When they want something, they want it right now. They can't stand hearing "later." They have no patience. For example, my father would demand things immediately, without giving me time to think. This taught me to be a people-pleaser because I felt like I had no choice.

That's why freedom has been such a big deal for me—the freedom to choose and to have my own space. But narcissists don't give you that freedom. To them, "later" means "never," and they won't accept that. They want control, and you have to obey—that's how it works with them.

5. No.

The word "no" is something narcissists can't stand, and "sorry" is a word they can't say. They don't like hearing "no" because they see you as an extension of themselves, like a puppet or an object. You're there to serve them, and you can't have your own needs, wants, or boundaries.

If you say "no" to them, it challenges their fragile ego, and they try to bulldoze you into submission. That's why setting boundaries with narcissists doesn't always work. If they have the power and resources, they'll try to turn every "no" into a "yes." I've seen it happen in many divorce cases, and that's why you have to be strategic when dealing with them.

It's not easy.
_____________________________________

“Can we have a serious talk?”

“You need to learn to compromise.”

“You should be more fair.”

“You're not the center of the universe, you know.”

“Do you love me?”

“No.”

“I disagree.”

“I feel good today.”

“I am so happy!”
_________________________________

No

Stop!

You'll have to wait

Not interested

You are too old, short, broke, fat, ugly

The bar is closed

The buffet is shut down due to Covid

Drug dealer got arrested

What's your name again?

You aren't on the list

You have serious control issues

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

You tested positive again for STDs

I'm pregnant and having the baby

Stop interrupting me

Listen to some else's point of view

I'm not finished talking

There is a warrant out for your arrest

Do you think i'm this dumb?

We need to discuss your outstanding balance

You've been sued

We have already gone over this

You can't be this stupid

Lose my number

You were already asked politely to stop

Lets talk about the last time you did this

This isn't working for me anymore

Critical words to a third person about the narcissist in front of the narcissist
__________________________________

Narcissists hate to be told NO to anything, anyone, or in any situation. It’s their way 100% of the time. Any opposition is not acceptable. Saying no can result in arguments or rages. Even politely saying no thank you, I’ll pass, I’m not interested will irritate them.

Narcissists also hate words that indicate they aren’t all that. Praising others, commenting on someone else being attractive, and words that show admiration for anyone beside them. Comments about someone being successful, wealthy, or popular. They take it all personally like it is directed at them.

What narcissists hate the most is lack of words. No response, ignoring them, blocking them, and acting indifferent makes them feel insignificant which they hate.This also shows them they do not have control over you which is how they handle relationships. So think before you speak because silence is their kryptonite.
____________________________________

There's no magic spell, no magic formula of words you can weave — leave that basic b*tch mind f*ckery to the narcissists.

If you really want to hurt the narcissist (and you do), simply outshine them. Be more popular, more generous, more hard working, skilled, be more of whatever the narcissist is pretending to be.

If you do this, you will unleash the narcissist's worst enemy upon themselves —
________________________________________

I want a prenup.

No, we are not having a joint account-my money stays mine.

Goodbye, for ever.

I know about narcissism now, and you are one.

I am going out tonight- don't try to stop me.

I am going on holiday for a week with my friends.

No, I will NOT do that. Stop trying to control me.

Are you getting the picture? With narcissists it is all about control, so anything you say that rejects control is unacceptable. But watch out- if you are not controllable, you will be dropped, for someone more biddable.

So never fall in love with a narcissist- your heart will be broken- either because they will get you fully controlled, or because they will dump you. That is why you can´t win with a narcissist. Your best protection against narcissists is knowledge- so read on this site and elsewhere about this disorder, and my advice? Stay away from them all.

https://www.quora.com/What-words-do-narcissists-hate

[tellomon]

What is a "collapsed narcissist"?

A collapsed narcissist is a narcissist whose ego or self-image has received a huge blow, after which an emotional collapse occurs. It is characterized by the following features:

Loss of Control: When their usual manipulation tactics or control methods fail, narcissists sometimes "collapse," thus feeling powerless and helpless, in contrast to the normal grandiose feelings about themselves.

Emotional Instability: It is the hallmark of a collapsed narcissist; they can become prone to intense mood swings, depression, anxiety, or even rage at the struggle with the fact that they are actually not superior at all.

Withdrawal and Isolation: They can withdraw themselves from social interaction and become reclusive or avoidant in that they just can't keep their facade up anymore.

Desperate Appeals for Confirmation: In the need to rediscover their feeling of significance, they may become overly attention-seeking. This often becomes more manipulative or clingy.

Blame and Self-Victimization: A collapsed narcissist may resort to self-pity, blaming others for their mistreatment, as he/she cannot accept responsibility for failures.
_____________________________

It's the worst thing that can happen to a narcissist. It usually starts when the narcissist goes through their usual cycle of love bombing, devaluing, and discarding their current source of supply. But then, they realize they can't replace that person. They can't get the same type of supply they once did. Even when they try to get their last supply back, it doesn't work.

So what happens? The narcissist finds it harder and harder to get the supply they need. They start to reach out to anyone or anything for validation. This triggers all their doubts and fears about themselves and their lives. They go into a "poor me" shock, which leads to narcissistic rage, affecting everyone around them. They might end up completely alone and then go back to the "poor me" phase. This cycle of low self-esteem, rage, and self-pity is known as the collapsed narcissist.

At this point, the false self and the real self of the narcissist clash, and it's not pretty. The narcissist's facade is gone, the mask is off, and they are exposed. They can't keep up the act anymore. People can now see the real them. They might start hiding, move to a different place, become a different person, or cling desperately to anyone still in their lives. This is what happens when the fake "calm, cool, collected" persona is gone, revealing the ugly truth of who the narcissist really is.
_________________________________

A collapsed narcissist is one that has been found out and trying to use your empathy to get you back in line.

Until they are dead they will continually rebound from collapse into offending again and again.

Do not be fooled. They are incapable of any empathy and should never be trusted with anything of value or with any promises. They will invariably rationalize their behavior to either benefit themselves or to screw you AGAIN.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-a-collapsed-narcissist-9

[tellomon]

How do covert narcissists expose themselves in the end?

The end begins out of the gate, but comes to fruition generally whenever the host (supply) realizes they are losing energy, identifies the culprit, then attempts to hold the parasite (NPDI) accountable- or kicks them to the curb…or the NPDI gets bored and destroys what he has in front of him for a fantasy of what might be.

Specifically, an opportunity that seems financially irresistible, belonging to someone as of yet too inexperienced to figure them out…and whose living arrangements perhaps, provide an escape hatch of some sort or other to boot.

Nevertheless, the beginning of the ‘bitter end,’ is set off when the host attempts to engage the NPDI in normal relational terms which includes honesty, setting boundaries, compromising mutual needs and expectations, questioning and resolving unacceptable behaviors and attempting to require mutual accountability-all of these over time resulting in the host being stonewalled then devalued and at last, publicly smeared behind their back by the NPDI, who will NOT engage in behavior required in a mature, committed relationship; but cannot admit it because they have claimed they were committed all along hoping to never actually have to behave like it; engaging instead in stall tactics such as circular conversations, future faking, temporarily modifying behaviors and addictions but returning to them again and again, etc.

I guess the best way to describe to those lucky folks scratching their heads and tempted to find fault with people engaged in the conversation that’s happening all over the world as regards Narcissism, is to explain what a person endures in the final analysis, when they have encountered an NPDI, and believed to have been in a mutual, loving relationship with them, only to come face to face instead with the fact that their relationship was a complete fabrication.

Here is the best explanation I can come up with: the NPDI’s grande finale is manifested in a narcissist rage (tantrum) that is nothing short of epic in intensity. Although admittedly humorous once the host has distanced themself enough to review the memory rationally.

Until said host has been able to process the situation, however, the only scenario I can imagine that is comparable and or might feel worse than waking up to the fact that you have invested your life in a relationship with a con artist (or at best, a two year old trapped in an adult body who has at last declared their true identity in the form of an all out assault), would be realizing you ‘d been enmeshed with a Scott Peterson character and stumbled across his plot before he killed you.

That’s how shocked you are. And at the point of discovery, you have no clue about narcissism to help you understand; only your first hand experience which includes some bizarre but specific patterns of behavior.

The host has no choice in any case, regardless of what they do or do not know with certainty, but to face and consider the crescendo of horror they experienced at the last curtain call, and once home alone and in retrospect, to make sense of all that happened during the devaluation phase. Which, if we are honest was going on simultaneously even during Act 1: Eden.

The devaluation in my case happened concurrently with the love bombing which lasted a long time but over time was laced more and more often with devaluation once the proverbial curtain came down.

But even if the devaluation was a long, slow boil that suddenly took off after many years of simmering, as is the case in marriages, the host cannot believe the person they have spent their time with, the deception that was pulled on them or that the individual they thought they knew and adored was in fact but a manipulated ruse, created and staged by a human being capable of doing what appears ANYTHING that serves their own purposes; with no regard for the damage they cause to anyone along the way.

The hateful words that are at last spoken by this person who proclaimed you their soulmate so quickly, the harsh voice they come to use, the intentionally cruel timing they so often employ when they are attempting to destroy you…and the fact they they’ve been lying and cheating all along in some capacity, is stunning as any taser. And is comparably paralyzing for a time.

But I digress. In short, the mask, when last it comes off completely, reveals nothing but hideous malevolence and spite that is horrifying. One is left grieving, in shock, confused and frightened all at once; panicked as though they’ve barely escaped a monster from some creepy fairytale.

In fact, come to think of it- that IS figuratively exactly what we did. Because when at last the NPDI is unveiled, what is revealed to have been lurking beneath the lie of a false persona is nothing short of monstrous; a fact that is made apparent to the host who finds themselves, simultaneously, witnessing not only the NPDI’s true, diabolical identity but the lengths a Narc will go in order to protect it; a reality that is both disarming and repulsive.

But then, as the myth goes, Narcissus was so intent on believing in a delusional self, that he did in the end, idiotically starve to death staring at his own distorted external reflection in a pool of water…

In the same manner, an NPDI starves himself and everyone he encounters with his unfailing commitment to maintaining a skewed, distorted, elevated image of himself; spending every internal and external resource at his disposal on convincing, of a lie, the people who care the least about him (strangers he calls friends).

Sadly, the lie is effective only temporarily. And NPDIs know it on some level. That’s why the pattern they have perfected in order to survive once they are busted, is so apparent on close inspection; and becomes evident again as their latest attempt at faking a great love story fizzles into another farce like all the ones before (“one more disappointment,” claims the NPDI who has orchestrated the demise (and a damned shocking but boring and anticlimactic ending for the host I may assure you, once the smear campaign and possibly, months of hoovering and grief are over and the host finally has time and space and the presence of mind to figure everything out).

Thank God that neurotypicals recover to laugh at themselves for falling for the charade. Ironically, the very thing a Narc can never do and the reason they become nothing at all in the end. Not even a memory. Just another counterfeit thing we have come across and figured out; a diversion or cloud some genuine soul encountered temporarily along their path and left behind. A flop at the narc’s mental box office at best… But make no mistake, it takes time and effort for the supporting actors to recognize the protracted tragedy was in reality comedy of the absurd that they were playing a role in all along.

The good news is: Do you remember details of the mirror images of yourself or your childhood friends from the carnival fun house at the state fair you attended in seventh grade -beyond that the experience was fun for a moment, weird, silly and disturbing in the end; and that thank goodness you could walk away and take none of the hideous, crazy, temporary distortions you saw reflected back home with you?

I didn’t think so.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/How-do-covert-narcissists-expose-themselves-in-the-end

[tellomon]

Do narcissists really have the goal/intent to completely destroy you or is this just the result of all their actions?

Narcissists are masters of destroying or sabotaging their own relationships. This is one of the reasons it’s not possible to make them happy.

This sabotage is driven by 3 key factors:

The lack of whole object relations and object constancy
The need for narcissistic supply
The need to preserve their idealized self, their persona
The lack of whole object relations and object constancy.

The narcissist does not have the ability to see all of you at one time. They see you as “all good” or “all bad.” They also don’t have the ability to remain positive about your relationship during a challenge or a setback. They assume it is over.

For this reason, the narcissist will do or say things when they see you as “all bad” that are harmful to the relationship.

They will…

Say something so cruel that things will never be the same
Reveal your deepest secrets
Destroy something of importance to you
Cheat on you
As soon as they flip back into seeing you as “all good,” which can happen quickly, they do not remember ever feeling you were “all bad.” They cannot fathom having done or said anything hurtful because they “never felt that way.”

This is when you’ll hear…

That never happened
I would never say that to you!
That doesn’t sound like me
They have sabotaged the relationship for both of you.

The need for narcissistic supply.

The need for narcissistic supply is so strong, it supersedes all else.

Remember, a narcissist gleans supply in 2 ways:

Ingratiation: admiration, praise, respect, validation, positive attention
Grandiosity: Gaining power and control by devaluing others
The narcissist will…

Ruin their laundry by leaving a pen in their pocket, just to ruin yours
Get fired, decreasing discretionary family income, for attention
Continue to blatantly lie, when you’ve told them you’ll leave if it happens again
The need to preserve their idealized self, their persona.

The narcissist needs street cred with their flying monkeys. They will do things that sabotage their relationship just to preserve their image. (Picture Danny Zuko when he runs into Sandy at the pep rally in Grease.)

They also need to reinforce this image for themselves.

The narcissist will…

Demean you in public, to look powerful
Flirt with younger, attractive people to look more attractive
Transfer finances into their name to be in control
When their persona includes being a victim, they will sabotage themselves just to have more victim stories.

The narcissist will…

Take a pic while driving, then post it publicly, just so they aren’t considered safe to drive their kids
Be physically aggressive with the kids, so they have supervised contact only
Spend all of their money, so they can be broke
But is it actually sabotage?

Or instead, is the narcissist getting exactly what they need?

While it appears that the narcissist has ruined their day, their financial security, their relationship with their kids, the narcissist has actually secured narcissistic supply. That’s their primary need.

The narcissist has gotten exactly what they wanted.
______________________________

Yes - people are good or bad in the eyes of a narc. There’s nothing in between. And you don’t have to do anything “bad” to be perceived as bad by a narcissist. Just disagreeing within them on something unimportant and irrelevant can be enough to become public enemy number one.

And once you’re perceived as bad by them their goal is to take you down. Friends and acquaintances can can just say goodbye to the narc, move on and never see them again. Partners and spouses get it the worst as it’s just not as easy as upping sticks as your life is so blended with the narc’s.

When you’re public enemy number one the narc has so much hatred towards you that there are very few limits in terms of how far they will go to punish you. They just stay clear of anything that’s likely to be picked by others (narcs care a lot about how they’re perceived by others - so they generally avoid physical violence that leaves marks or public displays of unpleasantness and abuse).

Over and the above that their goal is to make you lose your friends, your family, your children, your home, your money and your career. I’ve read that they can even try to drive you to your suicide.

Narcs will attempt to ruin your life and will enjoy doing it as you deserve it in their eyes. If you’re married to a narc the hardest battle is escaping from them as they know full well that your life is tangled to theirs - the ropes prevent your you getting away and enable the narc to keep punishing you relentlessly day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.

They have no remorse or regret for what they’re doing. But when fighting for your life most put on the biggest fight of their life and ultimately break free to leave the narc losing the battle and licking wounds that they’ll never recover from.

Yes - narcs aim to ruin lives. Don’t let them…

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-really-have-the-goal-intend-to-completely-destroy-you-or-is-this-just-the-result-of-all-their-actions

[tellomon]

Why is a narcissist always mad at me?

Narcissists get angry a lot, mostly because they're angry at themselves. People with NPD, or narcissistic personality disorder, can be really controlling and mean. They want you to doubt yourself, and that's why you're trying to figure out why they're mad at you. They love attention and need people to tell them they're important, so when you wonder why they're always mad, you're actually giving them what they want.

Their main goal is to control and scare you. They use bullying to have power over others. Bullies usually struggle with their own life because their abusive behavior makes it hard for them to have good relationships. Narcissists are filled with self-hate, and they take it out on those close to them. Being angry is one way they control others. It scares you and makes them feel in charge.

When your abuser is mad at you, it helps them deal with their emotions. It makes you focus on them instead of yourself, draining your energy. Their anger chips away at your self-worth and confidence, making you feel confused and trapped emotionally. It steals your peace of mind, and you spend energy trying to figure out what you did wrong. Their anger keeps you curious and uneasy, so you end up following them into a confusing situation.

Why they're mad at you isn't really about you. It's more about their own problems and struggles inside. Narcissists use defense mechanisms to handle their shame, insecurity, and low self-esteem. They depend on others to make them feel important and boost their confidence. They're almost always angry, or about to be, sometimes without a good reason. Often, it's just a way to play mind games and keep you focused on them. Watch out for the signs, don't be a victim, and do what you need to protect your mental health.
_________________________________

Narcissists are always mad at you, because they are mad at themselves. Those with NPD narcissistic personality disorder could be some of the most manipulating, controlling, entitled, toxic people in the world, and will go out of their way to make you make you question yourself.

This may also explain why you’re trying to figure out why they’re mad at you. They live for validation and attention, and with you trying to figure out why they’re always mad at you - you’re giving them exactly what they want.

Those with narcissistic personality trait's ultimate goal is to gain control and authority, while intimidating their victims. The objective of narcissistic abuse is all about power, and control. Most bullies have a downward spiral through life, as their aggressive behaviors make it difficult for them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

Narcissists are full of self-hatred, and they hate others even more, and one of the reasons why they take their anger out on those closet them. Anger is a favorite tactic of their bullying tactics, because they know it will quickly intimidate the target while simultaneously establishing dominance and control.

By your predatory abuser being mad at you helps them to regulate their emotions.

By your abuser being mad at you takes the focus off of yourself in exchange for you putting all of your energy towards them.

By the narcissist being mad at you picks away at your self-worth and self-esteem, in return this lowers your self-confidence which is one of their goals to keep you emotionally hostage/confused!

By the narcissist being mad at you steals away your peace of mind, and you expel your energy trying to figure what you did wrong.

By the narcissist being mad at you makes you curious and unsettled, so you inadvertently follow this unhinge person down the rabbit's hole.

Why the narcissist is mad at you has less to do with you, and more to do with their inner demons that they’re constantly fighting internally. Narcissists will use defense mechanisms to cope with their shame, insecurity, and low self-esteem. They rely on others for their narcissistic supply to give them a sense of importance and boost their low self-esteem.

They're always either angry, or on the verge of becoming angry, and sometimes they are angry for no legitimate reason. Many times, it is just a form of manipulation of playing mind games with you to keep you “hook, line, and sinker.” It may appear that they’re always mad at you as a way to keep you in compliance and focus only on them. May you know the signs, may you not be a victim, and may you do whatever you need to do to protect your emotional-mental health.

https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-is-a-narcissist-always-mad-at-me

[tellomon]

What happens to a narcissist as he gets old? Will he settle with anyone rather than be alone, or just get worse?

A narc's Number 1 fear is being abandoned because they cannot function alone. They need someone to comfort them when their ego is hurt,. They need money to finance their egoistic desires so that they can keep up with & out do their neighbours, friends & work colleagues. They need a ‘gofer’. They need sex. They absolutely need others to see that they are desired by someone.

But most of all they need someone to project onto; someone they can evacuate / dump all the bad feelings they have about themselves onto. A sacrificial lamb. A scapegoat that they can bully and take out their frustrations & anger on. An emotional punching bag. An emotional tampon.

In other words they need a thing, (not a person with real needs, desires & feelings), that they can use to keep going. A narc cannot handle being on their own and will settle with any low hanging fruit they can get until such time that they can upgrade to a better model.
_________________________________

I think getting older is hell on earth for narcs.

When narcs were younger, supply was plentiful. Their maladaptivity hadn’t yet caught up with them. For those who become addicts in their later years, this too had not yet taken a hold.

When the narc was young, they had enough energy and charm to seamlessly manipulate multiple people. The world was their oyster. Younger people are also naive and trusting, so finding people who would tolerate their BS was pretty easy. So they could run multiple idealisation and devaluation cycles with ease. Their pot was constantly topped up.

Until it isn’t. And I think that for a lot of narcs, the wheels start to come off the bus in their mid/ late 40’s.

If their looks were what attracted supply, these start to suddenly accelerate in aging. I know two narcs who looked amazing and could attract people from across rooms. And suddenly - between the ages of 45–50, that allure disappeared. For these specific narcs - alcohol and smoking categorically contributed.

If an addiction has been managed over previous decades, this is the time that the damage starts to show (either at medicals) or aesthetically. For women especially, the addiction plus the hormonal changes are a double whammy. Throw some good old fashioned peri menopause at a rapidly aging female who is a functional alcoholic and that is an absolute cluster felafel waiting to happen.

Their behaviours become even more erratic, they will black out more and have no recollection of their behaviour. They can become even more sexually promiscuous (including pursuing the spouses of close friends/ even close family members). The ability to mask drops at an alarming rate. If they were covert narcs - this is when they become more obvious and overt.

As a result of the above, it can be at this stage that even long standing friends start to remove themselves from a narcs social circle, leaving them even more isolated.
If the narc is a parent. It can be around this age that their children start to realise something is amiss - and as young adults, actively start to boundary / distance themselves from their parents.

It was when my birth mother was 50 that I categorically Stopped listening to her. I could earn my own money and was in absolutely no way reliant on her. Her control over me was removed and that pushed her off a proverbial cliff.

The newer people/ potential supplies the narcs now attract into their circles are older and as a result of this a lot of them are far more self aware and educated than they were even a decade prior. Which means they are much more likely to pick up on problematic behaviours they see and not enter a closer/ more intimate relationship with the narc.

It’s around this age that I think you start to see a more deliberate separation start to happen - between those people who are healthy, have done work on themselves and actively move away from drama. Vs those who do not.

Today, I will not even consider any form of significant interaction with someone who I think could be unhealthy. So who does that leave for narcs? Other drama creating people who are self obsessed. That is not high quality supply for a narc.

Ultimately, I think a narc will always be able to find someone. But at a certain point it will no longer be the high quality supplies they were used to. This will lead to the narc being increasingly bitter & angry and possibly push them deeper into their addictions. Because if they can no longer vomit their pain onto others through abuse, the only way they can manage is to numb it.

Ultimately, I’d like to say it’s a sad ending for people who once held the promise of so much potential. But to be honest? They deserve nothing more.

Plenty of people were abused as children. Or raised by narcissists. Or alcoholics. Plenty of these people have categorically not gone on to repeatedly and knowingly abuse perfectly innocent people for the rest of their lives. And for many of these people it absolutely is a choice. I categorically do not believe that it isn’t.

They are perfectly aware of what they are doing - the whole time they are doing it. Why else are so many of them so successful? They couldn’t treat bosses/ work colleagues/ investors / press this way and get away with it. They do it where they know they can hide and bury their sick games. Behind closed doors where no one is watching.

So no, it’s not a sad ending. I think they end up alone. Abandoned. Bitter. Angry. Broke. Addicted.
________________________________

Once they get old they lose their charm,charisma and their looks,which will basically make things harder for them to manipulate people.

But keep in mind no matter how old they are never out of supplies.They have both primary,secondary and tertiary supplies always.

And they also have the people outside who have no idea who that person is since they don’t know them.Even though they might lack the looks since they are old they will manipulate the people from the outside with their caring soul and good character that also feeds them fuel,it’s a really infinit cycle they will always find a way to get supplies because without that they will self destruct.

So to answer your question no they are unable to love anyone including themselves and they will always get bored no matter what.Even if they settle down they will make the primary source of supply aka the significant other live hell and eventually the significant other will leave them or lose their sanity enslaving themselves to the Narcissist.

The only person that gets to see their true face is their significant other and their family.The family won’t give up from that person since it’s their blood and the significant other.Basically the people that tend to spend the most time with them.

The others around friends etc,they will never see their true face because they won’t get that much time to spend time with them and the people around them basically the strangers will always know them as the caring/lovely/humble character.

But no matter what the disease itself is not curable,so no matter who they manipulate they will never find happiness,nothing will fill their emptiness and constant pain,with one word they don’t possess the ability to feel good on their skin,so if you are unable to feel good on your skin no person will fill that for you in this world,if you are unable to accept yourself the way you are and love yourself the way you are no person will fill that pain for you. So it’s pointless.

Wish you the best of luck!

https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-a-narcissist-as-he-gets-old-Will-he-settle-with-anyone-rather-than-be-alone-or-just-get-worse

[tellomon]

Why is a narcissist horrible
to me but nice to
everyone else?

Because the narcissist is always trying to impress people. He doesn’t feel he has to impress those that know him really well, because you literally know him really well, so he can’t pull one over on you. Strangers are their favorite targets. They can make up any outlandish persona and tell any whopper of a tale and the stranger will believe it. It’s all part of the game. It’s totally temporary, as they get to know each other, his games will fail and then she’ll know the real guy and he’ll stop impressing her too.

The bigger question in your question is, “why do you let him treat you like garbage”. I know life is really complicated and it’s hard to walk out, but at some point, you have to decide that you matter. If you have to swallow your pride and ask family to help you or save money in a sock for a year, you have to make a plan or you will be an old lady taking care of a selfish old man.
_________________________________

Because the person who is nice to everyone else is his false face. The person who mistreats you is the real face. The narcissist has two sides: one for the world, the other for victims.

As his victim, he has invested effort into you. He has gotten you on his hook. Think of all that time he spent “love bombing” you. Lying to be the perfect person — all just for you!! That was time consuming, hard work pretending to be your perfect person. He did it for you!!! (Aren't you *so* lucky!) That was his false face chasing you. You got attracted to his public false face bait like everyone does. You fell in his snare. He's hungry now. And he wants to feed — on you. Victimizing you is now his meal, his “supply,” his reward for successfully deceiving you.

So basically he wants a payoff for his efforts. The other people were not so “fortunate.” You were. Payment is victimizing you. This helps puff up his ego seeing you admire him while he victimizes and destroys you. Do you realize he is proud of this — here he is destroying you bit-by-bit, day-by-day, and you are loving him still. That's his “supply.” He expects you to nourish him. You were his prey. He baited the trap. He spent time snaring you. Now he wants to feed. And that's when you see his fangs. Aren't you lucky!!!

You still don't know everything, yet. As you have begun to question him, you are now an offense to him. How dare you deny him! After all that work, how dare you spoil it for him! Stop being selfish! You are a bad person. Now you deserve what he does to hurt you. Because when you don't allow his victimization after *all* his efforts, that is exactly his view. You are bad and he is good. Twisted. Of course it is. But not to the narcissist.

It's his view point of you, himself, and the world. You were lucky to have him. Now you are a witch. You are ruining a good thing. It's all *your* fault. Any wrong he does to you is now justified. And he never did any wrong in the past? Not in his eyes he didn't. He can't see himself in the mirror. All he sees is you and the insult you have done him. You are to be blamed. He is feeling righteous anger and resentment. And when he lashes out, justifiably in his mind, he will need a cover. That's the other reason for is false face.

He wants everyone else to think he is a nice guy. So he will be nice to them. You’ve seen it. Remember how pleasant he was? Mr. Wonderful! That false face you met before the “love bombing” started? That false face is a way to attract other victims or “flying monkeys,” although I call them “familiars.” They help him victimize others. And the first victimization was demeaning you secretly, and he's been bad mouthing you to others, but telling them even with all these bad things, he still loves you. Isn't he so nice!

And that false face also helps because he wants others to think you are bad/crazy. It's part of the “gaslighting.” He knows at some point you are going to complain. When you do, he will say … “you know I’m nice guy, right. Haven’t I told you all the *krap* she’s putting me through and I’ve taken it cause I want to be nice. She's crazy.” That's him playing victim, so you appear ungrateful. Again, all part of the “gaslighting.”

That’s why he’s been bad mouthing you all along, while garnering their support and appreciation for being so *nice* to you. It's his cloak. He wears it to charm others while he destroys you. They become his willing troop of “flying monkeys.” They will tell this vampire more bad things about you or share whatever bad things he has said about you with others. And watch him use that against you to make you feel bad about yourself.

Any self-doubt, any personal weakness, or regretful personal failure and he will slam it into your face to put you in your subordinate place. All the while this victimization is love to him.

This kind of perversion is something only a victim will truly understand, because he will serve it as love. Well love like that, who needs enemies — you're sleeping with one. So now you have some idea of what you are dealing with.

Here is the thing: you’re not going to win. Not only has he been doing this for a long time - to you, to others, but he is a natural. He wasn’t born this way, but that might as well be the case. He’s been at it that long. Your best bet is to walk away and never look back. (And forget revenge. Three problems: he will lie in ways you’ll never be able to; he has “flying monkeys” — people who will come to his aide — you won’t; and he’s an expert, who will not hesitate, will not reconsider, will feel no remorse, or doubt. You will and he’ll prey on that. Remember in his warped worldview, you are the bad person, not him.)

Now my remarks say “he.” Narcs come in both sexes. And they victimize people of the same sex or of the opposite sex. It makes no difference. H*ll, I’m told they’ll even do both sexes if it’s good supply. It’s got nothing to do with love. It’s all about them. So this isn’t a slam on anyone other than the narc. Again, it has nothing to do with love - it is all about adoration, self-gratification, and control. That's narcacistic “supply.”

“Supply” is a combination of getting your admiration and their ability to victimize you. Both make them feel better about themselves. Who it is makes no difference.

By now, I hope you realze you are in the middle of a war. So it is not the time to analyze, rationalize, or soul search. Now is the time to leave. After the escape, go to therapy or some support group and then analyze/soul search and find yourself again. And if he tries to win you back, aka “hoover,” watch out. Stay away. That's why you need therapy or a support group. (You must break the psychological “trauma bond,” he has over you — that's a real thing and it happens to victims).

Try to consider his deception: if you are such a bad person and he is *so* good, why waste his time on you? Tell him to move on. Reality is he can't. He's addicted to victimizing you. And he will claim that is love. The vampire cannot see his reflection in the mirror. He doesn't see himself as darkness without soul because a vampire is what he really is. Think about it: He has fangs. He has a cloak. He has familiaries (aka flying monkeys), and he sucks your life blood.

So that is what all narcs are: vampires. Is that who you want to be near? Get in the sunlight and stay there. Going to them or near them is bad news. There are good people who know what you are dealing with. They've been there. *They* are your people now, not this vampire. They will give you a framework to understand and language to talk about what happened, how to process, and recover. They can also help you stay away.

PS

By the way, this is not academic. It's the voice of experience.
_________________________________

They’re only superficially kind. They put on a show of kindness and of being a good person, because they want other people who don’t know them well, to think well of them. But let any of those people spend any significant amount of time around the narcissist, and they will be subjected to the same nightmare that the narcissist is subjecting you to. You’re just close enough to see the real monster that they are.

Narcissists like to lure you in with a show of being this great person, so that you’ll let down your guard and start giving them things. They want to get you to trust them so that they can trap you and use you. You trusting them equals you letting them use you, in their book.

So always remember, there is no true kindness in a narcissist. They are cruel to the core and they respect no one, not even life itself. Don’t be fooled by the charming facade - there is nothing good inside a narcissist.

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-a-narcissist-horrible-to-me-but-nice-to-everyone-else

[tellomon]

They die alone bc even if you love them you cant
stand them for more than 5 minutes a week.
The Aging Narcissist:
What Happens as They Get Older


@heide-raquelfuss5580
4 months ago
Everybody sees my old mother as such a nice woman.
If they only knew...how she treated me all her life and my father.

@zepgirl6495
4 months ago
My ex would rage on me with his yelling, cursing, bullying and threats of physical harm.  Then within a matter of seconds say something like "would you like to go get something to eat" as if nothing had happened.  Even after threatening my life, he said, "oh, you know we are going to be together for the rest of our lives".  He had absolutely no self awareness and that is what made it so frightening and dangerous.

@staceyholderfield1330
3 months ago
It was the eye's..
That stare, black and empty. Felt like pure evil. Never forget it..


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYD37yyCXXY

[tellomon]

They bait you then when you react to the bait,
they call you crazy!
The Narcissist's Most Sadistic
Abuse Tactic: Reactive Abuse

@Zurvan101
3 months ago
Reactive abuse is evil, it's a form of gaslighting that the abuser uses to absolve themselves of responsibility for the abuse that they are conducting.


@familylifescienceeducation5227
3 months ago (edited)
Unless you've experienced it, it is hard to believe.  Someone will literally pretend to hate what is good about you, wreck you with negativity, then mimic all things good about you, all the while telling people lies about you saying you were acting like they were actually being. 


@steadypace1262
3 months ago
To top it all off the abuser convinces themselves that they are the real victim and you are the real abuser. Narcissists are mentally deranged they believe in their own lies till the end of their days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzIt_MAzscU

[tellomon]

Insidiously, they walk among us acting like angels.
Is Narcissism a
Human Evil?

@persiamotorman
10 days ago
The Sociopath I know has been in prison nearly two years. He was told "no" by his landlord and in retaliation he set fire to the apartment building. He could have cared less about how that could have potentially killed everyone who lived there. This was in Baton Rouge. The reporter wrote about it and said that he said this upon being arrested to the police "You ruined my life!" They only care about themselves. Period.


@spacegirl226
10 days ago
Human evil? No, I wouldn't call it human evil. But it's spiritual evil. Possession, influence by demons and evil beings. Narcissism and narcissistic behaviors span too many cultural differences, language differences, geographical differences, etc. to be basic human evil. It is evil absolutely, but I don't think it's human evil -- human beings are the vessels for The Spirit.


@user-qv9nw1dq2f
10 days ago
It is so true. Malignant narcissists are human evil and I totally agree with that. The criteria fit perfectly. I also agree that once we know and understand what we have been dealing with, our healing journey gets easier to navigate. Thank you.  God bless you

@fenderblue9485
10 days ago
Thank you. I woke up to a narcissist rage and came across your video.  I  also suffer from my grown child with evil due to  living with her evil dad. Over decades I have been in therapy which have learned about these evil selfish people. My question is, why did I turn out to have overwhelming empathy and just want joy and happiness at no expense?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-x1dJeFGVY

[tellomon]

When God Doesn't Want You
To Be With A Narcissist, These
Things Will Happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD_RW_DazqQ

[tellomon]

Why does a narcissist blame their victim for everything?

Blaming others is the only way a narcissist can avoid responsibility. They project their own behaviours onto others because they cannot consider that they are at fault. Their self esteem is so sensitive, that they would suffer too much to admit to themselves they have done anything wrong. Deep down they hate themselves. This is fundamental to the disorder, because they were taught in very early childhood that they are not worthy of love and are not acceptable.

Consider any time you might have done something that hurt someone else, and ask yourself how hard it was to admit your behaviour and apologise to that person. This is difficult for anyone to do, however we feel better when we have done what we can to right the wrong.

A narcissist is not able to take this step. It would mean accepting that they are defective, in their own mind.
____________________________________

The Narcissist will blame you because self preservation is a major motivation, they will sacrifice you,smear you, and even go as far as throwing you away to prove you are to blame. It is also out of power and control.

The more they blame you the more you will doubt your own thoughts and reality until you go crazy. Eventually this blame will have you doubting yourself and you can become dependent on the Narcissist to paint reality for you until you are feeble and broken. In a nutshell they do not have empathy for you and how their behavior causes major harm. The big question is how did we stay so long? We knew they were blaming the victim (me). How did we allow that?
___________________________________

Because the Narcissist's life mantra is quite brutally blunt, but very well hidden.

“My way or the highway"!
Control is everything.
Followed by your adoration, for their validation.
100% attention for them
Zero for you
All take, take, take…. no give.

What this really means is this:

They demand access to everything.

Sex
ATM. And credit cards.
Status.
Services. Internet, food, water, shelter.
Fun. For them, at least.
Status. Yours, obviously.
Isolation. Of you.
The world is their oyster. You are the grit. The irritant. So, you are to blame!

They are pearl. So shiny, and bright. They could never be the reason for anything going wrong. Ever!

Quite simple really. They are the victim. Not you.

Welcome to their unreal world. Feels so good…NOT!
___________________________________

Narcissists cannot deal with shame. They do not have the psychological mechanisms to process it whatsoever. It drips like acid upon their fragile psyche and threatens to bring the whole thing down.

Let's take a simple example — the narcissist needs to go somewhere in a hurry, but has misplaced their keys.

While furiously searching for them, they jump to the conclusion that their stupid spouse has forgotten to put them back (dissociate) no, they have maliciously hidden them just to ruin their day.

But then all of a sudden, there the keys are, where they left them.

A normal person would feel shame, embarrassment, would process it, accept responsibility and vow to look more closely next time.

Not the narcissist.

They are now stuck with shame at making the wrong judgement, something they are neurologically unable to process. The shame will cause a psychotic episode if left unchecked — it will burn through the grandiose perfect self, and there is nothing whatsoever underneath, but madness.

The narcissist must defer blame or go insane, there is no other choice. Their whole life has been built around their False Self, there is no memory of anything else — the construction began before the child became self conscious, before they had any memory of anything at all.

You are either God or you aren't, and if the narcissist is not God, then their whole life is a lie, and there is nothing to fall back on but insanity, madness, mental breakdown.

In jumps the false self to save the day, by essentially making up some insane garbage.

The the false self will then pick over a list of the IO's faults, failures, mistakes, broken promises and find one to attribute the narcissists failure to find the keys to.

Perhaps they forgot to take the garbage out

Perhaps they didn't get that raise they said they were going to

Perhaps they criticized one of their spurious flights of fancy

Perhaps even they had put the keys somewhere else, but the insignificant other moved them back to the normal spot, just to mess with them.

Whatever the case, it is never their fault, it can never be their fault.

There was a reason they couldn't find the keys so quickly, a reason they attributed the theft to the insignificant other and that reason was of course Insignificant other.

The insignificant other needs to pay for their mistake, and they will.

Later that night the insignificant other, much to their confusion gets home to a silent treatment.

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-blame-their-victim-for-everything?no_redirect=1

[tellomon]

Is it possible to make a narcissist suffer?

The narcissist suffers without you

The narcissist manipulated, abused, and lied to you. You heard empty promises, and he used gaslighting until he finally rejected you and compared you to a new source of supply. It was all a facade—a narcissist's sick game. The narcissist is unhappy and suffering without you.

Remember how dissatisfied and unhappy he was when he was in a relationship with you. He transferred and projected all his pain and traumas onto you, and you absorbed it all to make it easier for him.

If you are wondering how a narcissist feels when he is no longer around you, he feels exhausted, inadequate, and powerless.

Don’t feel sorry for the narcissist, because he will use it against you.
_______________________________

Oh yes, it sure is. There are different ways to do this. From straight out ignoring them and living your best life (to them, this feels like they were never important to you and you’re unbothered- feels like a death for them), or actually doing to them what they’ve done to you (work to ruin their life and expose them in a way that they cannot vindictively repay you for this).

Narcissists are attention whores. They need to know they can control you, that they are important to you and that you are miserable at the hand of their actions and words against you. This makes them happy. For them to be unhappy- you must take away the following:

Your emotions (if a stranger on the street were to treat you poorly, it wouldn’t stick with you because you don’t know them. The narcissist is not who they portrayed themselves to be- therefore, the true self is a stranger to you. Act accordingly) your reactions (tears, upset, hurt, belief in what they say, any happiness that comes from the falsehoods they tell you, etc)

Your conversation (don’t deal with them at all. Block them on every possible communication platform. If you MUST communicate, make it as transactional and emotionless as possible. Only speak about the business at hand and if they try to make you talk about anything further, cut the conversation short.

Your attention -you owe the narcissist nothing , no explanation for why you’ve changed and no weaning of your affection… cold turkey and that’s it.

Your “going the extra mile” - narcissists have a habit of having you inadvertently proving yourself to them. They do this by accusing you of things or behaviors that simply aren’t true… in hopes that you second guess yourself and start proving to them that they have it all wrong. But the reality is, they know your intentions and your heart- which is why you were targeted. Be done with doing anything more for them that what may be required (i.e task at work if the narc is your supervisor)

Your Thoughts and plans - the narc stays steps ahead because you’ve disclosed to them what you’re thinking, feeling and what your future plans are. Whether immediate or long term, it’s none of their felafeling business. Keep your “head on a swivel” , which means, be aware of what you disclose and if you tell anything, make sure it’s a trap - not really what you’re thinking or feeling.
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Yes, by ignoring a narcissist. But you can't beat a narcissist. They have been destroyed since childhood and they use this destruction as a defense mechanism to avoid feeling their own pain.

Pray for their liberation, trying to harm them does not make you better than the narcissist. Forgiving them will.

I lived with a narcissist for 10 years. I know what I'm talking about. It's not worth your energy. Use your energy to rebuild your life instead of destroying. You are not destroying the narcissist, you are destroying yourself by working into his/her energy. I know it's f*cking hard, but are you going to make the difference for a better, more beautiful world?

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-make-a-narcissist-suffer

[tellomon]

Do narcissists know when they have pushed you too far?

Yes, they do. When you have had enough and decide to leave for good, they will know. You must be clear and firm, showing no signs of vulnerability. Narcissists are very good at reading body language, so if you show any weakness, they will use it against you. But if you don’t, they will understand you mean it.

Here’s what I did after many failed attempts: I told him it was over, clearly and firmly. I had done this before, so this time I made sure it was different. I told his friends (who would report back to him) that I was serious. Then, I told all our mutual friends not to mention him to me or discuss me with him. This was like blocking all contact. The result was a complete communication blackout. He got the message loud and clear—no more contact ever. This made him furious because he couldn't mess with my head anymore, which is part of the fun for them. Feel free to adapt this approach; it worked well for me.

Narcissists are unpleasant, self-obsessed, and harmful. They damage people. That’s why I am on a mission to educate everyone about narcissism and its dangers. My short answers only cover small parts of the topic. It's a big subject, and understanding it properly will help you deal with narcissists, whether they are relatives or partners. You’ll learn to see the warning signs and avoid them. Educating yourself about narcissism is essential for a better, narc-free life. Once you know one narcissist, you’ll recognize them all.
_________________________________

Yeah! They know it, 100 %.

You might even get laughed at when you finally lose your temper on the mfker.

Narx love to think they are holding a game controller to your emotions.

The first time you lose your temper… that's when ALL the fun begins!

Now, everything from here on out, is ALL your fault!

YOU have hurt the nark!

It doesn't matter, that the nark can't go a single day without yelling at you and calling you stupid…

YOU finally exploded on the nark, yelled at it, AND called it, a nasty ass, vile little Troll, and the nark shall never forgive you!

Boo F*cking hoo! They are weak af!

They can dish it ALL out but want to cry like a little Irma Grese, when you treat them exactly how they've treated you.

The Nark is ALWAYS the innocent bystander, YOU are the one who pushed the nark too far.

Your behavior, has made the nark realize, that you were the worst human being on the face of the earth!

There is nothing good about you!! You are a liar, a phony, a fraudulent living b*tch from HELL!

Be gone Satan!

You are the one who's a narcissist!

The Nark Hates your F*cking guts!

All because, you called the nark out on its behavior and it just can't deal with your combative bullshit anymore!

You're a witch, and you're still a stupid Irma Grese!

It's over, you wanna know why ? BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

SO... F*CK YOU B*TCH!!

There are 20 other women, just waiting for the Nark to be free of you and they are ALL better!

The End!

Narx suck ass!!!

There is absolutely no getting it thru their thick heads, cause they did it on purpose.

Like a little villainous child playing a game.

They play dumb, act like they can't see the forest thru the tree's.

It's a cop out, they refuse to take responsibility cause they are weak, boring and stupid af.

It will only frustrate the living shite out of you to try and hold the nark accountable.

You can't reason with a pathological liar.

You'll end up wanting to bash their FELAFEL U king brains out, just trying to get a point across.

Even if you make your point, they just won't ever admit to shite!

To save your soul, and your sanity and just say, felafel it!

The End!

Narcissists have ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. A disorder found in children but narx never grow out of it.

A spoiled, petulant child, is all that they bring to the table.

Give up, white flag, surrender, check please, peace out, c ya, where's the emergency exit!?!

The End!!!

Bye Troll!!! xoxo xoxo xoxo
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Certainly. As you can see, many people will try to get closure with the narcissist. That in and of itself will suggest to them that they have pushed you too far. You’re basically willing to accept that it’s over, you just want to know why.

Another way they can tell is when you start setting boundaries. Start standing up for yourself. Stop buying into their false persona and start calling them out. They will soon realize the game is up and you’re wising up to their behaviors.
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Narcissists often have a limited ability to empathize with others, which can affect their awareness of how their actions impact those around them. While they may not fully understand or care about the emotional toll they take on others, some narcissists can recognize when they have pushed someone too far, especially if it leads to negative consequences for themselves, such as losing control over a situation or facing backlash.

In many cases, their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires, so they may continue their behavior until it jeopardizes their interests. This lack of self-awareness and empathy can make it difficult for them to gauge the emotional state of others accurately. Ultimately, their recognition of having crossed a line may depend on their individual personality traits, the context of the situation, and their motivations.

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-when-they-have-pushed-you-too-far

[tellomon]

A narcissist claims that the new supply knows everything. Why?

There is always the most obvious reason for this, staring us right in the face. And that is the narcissist most likely attempting to provoke you so that you reach out to the new supply.

If you reach out to the new supply, you are providing the narcissist with more supply.

You, the new supply, and the narcissist. They just love "love" triangles. Now he has you chatting up the new supply and talking about him, and relishing in his harem putting so much attention on him.

If the new supply already knows everything, then she wouldn't be with him.

If she is still with him, then she is not worthy of even talking to at this point.

I've been quite harsh on narcissists in my posts, but we also need to take accountability for our actions. Not a lot of people like this, and I had one woman get mad at me on a recent post. Should I sugar coat my writings? Should I say “oh, bad narcissist, manipulating women into these silly games.” (?)

The truth is that some people also enjoy these games. Women also enjoy the drama and "excitement" of talking to the new supply, the old supply, et cetera.

Once you know the game, it should disgust you. The new supply is responsible now for her own outcome if she already "knows everything."
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Bullshit !!! New supply has no ides they are being used !!! It's a game, your playing their rules, their ideas !! Narcissist play on people's souls…They will be so kind, loving, caring ?!! They need something from you ! Or you to do something for them….

Then switch over to the real nasty person they truly are…The worst part is your a pawn in a game you have no idea you were playing…

Narcissist know exactly what they are doing do not kid yourself, they are that good !

P.s. Do not believe anything a narcissist states… Remove yourself from their presence and move on, if not your life will be full of drama, chaos, gaslighting and more…It's a exhausting life to live…
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They hate you, and are trying to hurt you or make you jealous by triangulation. They’re pathological liars. My question though, is why the hell are you talking to a narcissist about anything? They both should be blocked everywhere and you should go total NO Contact. Then you wouldn’t even have to worry about stupid sh!t like this.
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I know this one well….true statement would be ,the new supply knows everything the narcissist wants them to know. They want you to think they've changed for new supply, whereas you weren't worth changing for. It's just another statement designed to put you down because they do enjoy the look of hurt in your eyes. Just laugh at them because honestly they are a joke, nothing real there at all.
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That's just another trick and gaslighting tactic by the narcissist. The narc wants you to think he has this full and open relationship with their current supply, just so you will think its your fault that the relationship went bad when you were the main squeeze. If the narcs new relationship were so great, he wouldn't still be contacting you!

Don't forget the reason the relationship ended with you and the narc is because he was a liar, cheater, all around ruthless son of a Irma Grese, & raging lunatic. The narcissist does not all of a sudden, have the ability to treat the new supply any better than he did you.

https://www.quora.com/A-narcissist-claims-that-the-new-supply-knows-everything-Why

[tellomon]

What will a narcissist do when you start treating them the way they treat you?

1. Rage-Filled Shock.

When you mirror their behavior, a narcissist reacts with shock and rage. But the shock they experience is not genuine surprise. Instead, it's a reaction to the fact that their tactics are no longer working.

They see you as a weak, naive doormat that has no voice of its own and is okay with being taken advantage of. They're used to manipulating and controlling you, but when they can no longer do so, they feel powerless and vulnerable, which pushes them to try reasserting their control through anger, intimidation, or manipulation.

2. Escalate Their Abuse.

When you show them the mirror, they do not like what they see. They become more abusive, manipulative, punitive, vengeful, dramatic, distant, and more narcissistic. They may withhold essential resources, file unnecessary court motions, create unnecessary issues to keep churning you, and destroy your peace. They may also use their power and influence to isolate you from friends and family or sabotage your career or reputation.

3. Emotional Revivification.

They may resort to emotional revivification to re-gain control. They may use past events to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them or to justify their abusive behavior. They may also play the victim and elicit sympathy from you by claiming they are deeply hurt or offended by your behavior, even if it directly reflects their actions.

4. Portrayal Of Victimhood.

They may shift the focus away from their own behavior by becoming the victim to turn you into a monster and a villain. They may deny their wrongdoings and make your reaction to their abuse the center of focus. They may use this portrayal of victimhood to alienate and isolate you from everyone by presenting a single snapshot from the entire series of events, not the context or the whole story.

5. Label You With A Disorder.

They may label you with a disorder to make every issue in the relationship your fault. They may call you bipolar, a narcissist, or claim you have a borderline personality disorder to wash their hands off from taking responsibility. They may even spread false stories about you to tarnish your name and make you look like a crazy person.
____________________________________

They all respond differently but what I've seen is anger and outrage. They'll have the nerve to act (and yes, it is an ACT) offended, appalled, even hurt. Some will put on an Oscar worthy performance and pull out the body chalk to play their usual role…the victim.

How they truly feel, no one knows. But I do know they feel anger and outrage. They know they treat you exactly the same way but their parasitic minds no longer functions like a human beings.

Normally, this would be a great way to learn empathy because it allows a person to experience their own behavior. For some people, that's more than enough to make them see the error of their ways because they will feel what you felt and feel horrible for making you feel that way.

And because they love you, they'll work on changing this behavior because they never want to make you feel that way again. THIS is what a person with a conscience, a moral compass, and who actually loves you would do because they are capable of remorse and feeling empathy.

Therein is the problem…not a narcissist. They are incapable and unwilling to even try to have empathy. They don't feel guilt for their actions because they're incapable of remorse. They know they hurt you and deep down, they even know they're wrong and guilty for what they've done, but they will have no moral conflict because they have no conscience. They know, they just don't care.

So if you're treating them the way they treat you to try and teach them a lesson, it will be a grand failure. If you're doing it as a form of revenge or getting them back, it'll just create further problems because they will find a way to use this against you.

They're never gonna change. Nothing will make them change. The best way to teach a narcissist a lesson and get revenge on them is to cut them out of your life like the cancer they are. Permanently. Gone. Goodbye. Never speak to them again or even acknowledge them.

They don't love you. They're incapable of love and don't even have the desire for love. They're heartless monsters, in spite what the delusional enablers and sympathizers tell you. They will never change. There is not even a glimmer of hope. If you need proof, reality is the best proof.

There has never been a single successful case of effective treatment in NPD, let alone rehabilitation. Even if it were possible, you'd never get them to accept treatment willingly because they see nothing wrong with the way they are and have no desire to change.

There is no medicine or amount of therapy and counseling that will suddenly make the heartless have a heart. Once your conscience and moral compass are gone, there is no coming back from that.
___________________________________

Listen, let me save you a lot of time and and heartache.

Stop trying to figure out why a narcissist does the things they do. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to beat them, and really all you've done is given them attention. Narcissist take any attention, negative or positive, as equal. They simply have no empathy and do not care. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You can't change a narcissist.

You're gonna have to toughen up and take the pain. Its gonna happen eventually, and only time will heal your heart and mind. Why delay it any longer? The dog is in misery, shoot it. I really care, that's why I take the time to answer these questions. I lived it, like yourself. Btw, the answer to your question, and this is only in my own experience.

Behaving like him back makes no difference. They just gas light you ,or word cluster f*ck you to total exhaustion, where you just give up! They somehow flip it around and win again. Imagine how you will feel after loosing to them at their own game? Stop the madness!

https://www.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-do-when-you-start-treating-them-the-way-they-treat-you

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

Ways to TORTURE A Narcissist  Must Watch

Do you find yourself struggling with a narcissist who just won’t relent? In this video, we explore effective strategies to disrupt and unsettle a narcissist’s carefully crafted facade.

From exposing their vulnerabilities to using their own tactics against them, discover practical and psychological methods to take control and regain your peace. Learn how to outwit the narcissist and reclaim your power. Watch now to find out how you can effectively manage and counteract their manipulative behaviors!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt1Hpv5zpqs

[tellomon]

"This is exactly what is happening to me.
F*ck you, Sherry!"

Why Narcissists Abandon
Their Loved Ones (in the cruelest ways possible)

The Twisted Truth to why narcissist abandon their loved ones, in the cruelest ways possible. As harsh the reality is, it’s too within acceptance that lies the foundation to begin healing. This video discusses the reasons why narcissists abandon their loved ones, including their distorted self-perception, need for control, and use of manipulative tactics to maintain a false image.

Narcissists do not truly love others, but rather see them as tools to serve their own interests. The pain and confusion caused by their cruel behavior and the challenges of dealing with individuals who lack empathy and compassion, and who manipulate and exploit others for their own gain.

Despite the difficulty in facing this reality, the video emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and reclaiming one's power and confidence. You truly deserve and are worth so much more.
Nix the Narcissist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPsX97m3juo

[tellomon]

When do narcissists
abandon you?

After they have destroyed your life and devoured you so completely to a point you don’t exist even to yourself…they are done and are convinced they’ve depleted your resources and there is no more of you to feed off of then they cast you aside like a used up piece of worthless trash and could care less if you live or die because your dead to them, then they go behind your back and tell everyone that you did something so very bad to them and that they’re going to leave you..welcome to the reality of what they really are: EVIL to the core.
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Well its true, they leave when they find someone else.

What leads up to the discard is a combination of outside influences, and boredom. Tired of being stuck in a relationship, tired of rejecting opposite sex to stay committed, tired of having responsibilities. Just straight up tired. And they are tired of their current spouse being on their ass about their responsibilities.

They don't want that anymore, so they bail for someone who has no baggage like a family. And when the narc leaves, they leave baggage behind with the spouse and they jump into bed with the new person. So the narc actually has more to gain from leaving at the time.

But I've said it once before, you cannot just sweep everything under the rug and act like there's going to be no consequences because that's usually what happens. The narc runs off into the sunset while there old life crumbles, and they think if they run far enough it will never catch up to them.

Ask every narc that I know whos 40 plus. Now they struggle more than ever. They jump from man to man or woman to woman, less and less people want them because of the baggage that they have that caught up to them.

Their debt is so high, they cannot live on their own because they have no career, they have no car because they cannot afford it. They can no longer please the opposite sex because they have been used for it too much.

They are just a straight mess. I have seen it over and over, once that great girl or guy, the one who waited years for them. The one who supported them was always there and put up with all their sh*t and still never left. Once they move on, there's the narc having a break down and begging for them back. It happens every time.

And to answer your question for real, the narc abandoned you the moment you got into a relationship with them. Its up to you to make the final discard actually final.
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You will be let go when you prove your strength and resilience are greater than theirs. When you demonstrate your sharp intelligence and intuition are no match for their lies and deceit. They will leave you alone once you’ve proven your boundaries and expectations are no longer flexible and easily manipulated.

You will scare them off with your self love and commitment to a better life. The family and friends you have gathered around you will intimidate them.

They will push and pull at you trying to break you down. They will charm you and promise you the world. They will tantrum like you’ve never seen before. This is their struggle. Let them struggle. It needs to be done as they process that you’re now above them. You are immune to them and choose to no longer participate in their awful games.

The embarrassment they will feel each time you turn them away will burn and with each burn they’ll be that much closer to the end. This is when they start moving up the second and third supplies. It’s just a matter of time now…

They will go. As they should as you’ve emotionally grown out of them. There is no longer a place for them in your life.
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A narcissist will abandon you when you no longer serve their purpose. Put your focus, love, adoration on yourself and you will see just how fast they will abandon you. When you can see their bullshit for what it is, they must move on to people that dont. Their very existence depends on people believing their bullshit.

They will abandon you in your time of need. How dare you get sick? Or need support of any kind. You are expected to support yourself and them and when you no longer are compliant with this arrangement, then you are of no use to them anymore.

As cold hearted as this may sound, don’t take it personal. You literally could be anybody in the universe as long as you serve their purpose. They don’t love you for you. They only love what you do for them. Anybody that will stand there and watch you rip your own heart out trying to prove to them you love them, does not care about you. They only care about the fact that you’re willing to rip your heart out for them. Ultimate supply.

Take your power back. It is never to late in the game to do so. The ONLY way to get back at these people is to choose you. They are never going to and you are your responsibility anyway. Don’t put your life in the hands of someone that does not even care who you are, only what you are to them. Don’t look for validation from people that have no clue who you even are.

https://www.quora.com/When-do-narcissists-abandon-you

[tellomon]

Why does the narcissist want to see you destroyed in life? What do they gain from it?

Narcissists behave this way for several reasons:

One reason for their behavior is what we call a "Dumping Move." The narcissist dumps all the blame and negativity onto one person to keep themselves looking good. It's like throwing all the garbage into a trash bin to keep the house clean.

Another reason is to make you appear unreliable if the narcissist suspects that you know something about them. This tactic is mainly used to make the narcissist feel better and safer. They want to ensure that nobody will believe you or see you as a credible judge of their actions. It's not a personal attack on the real you.

Sometimes, their behavior is driven by the narcissist's desire to be superior to others. They put others down in order to feel above them. It's not necessarily about destroying you specifically, but rather about maintaining their own sense of superiority.

It's important to remember that their actions are not really about you. You're dealing with someone who has a disorder and is dysfunctional. The narcissist's world revolves completely around themselves, which makes it difficult to understand. Whatever the narcissist is doing, it's about them.
_____________________________________

Because they build a delusion in their mind that you deserve it. That you’re public enemy number one because you misled them into believing that you’d be the best servant who would deliver on every wish, shower them with complements and devote every second of every minute of every hour to unquestioningly serving their needs.

That’s what they’re entitled to and that’s what they deserve. BUT they don’t have it now because they chose you and you’ve failed to fulfil your duties. Everything is now a disaster and it’s all your fault. How dare you want a life. How dare you have interests and hobbies. How dare you have opinions about anything. How dare you expect to have friends and stay in contact with family members.

How dare you talk about anything but them. How dare you expect them to make any contribution to your life, childcare or their personal upkeep. How dare you spend a penny of the money that you earn on yourself. How dare you expect any kindness, love and affection you weak, pathetic, useless, worthless, overly emotional loser. Robbing them of their rights constitutes abuse! You now need to be punished and there’s no punishment that’s too bad for you.

What do they gain from it? Closure - once your life is destroyed they’ve finished dishing out the only punishment that you deserve for letting them down so completely and robbing them of their entitlement to be served. Their work is now done.
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Envy. They were attracted to you because you have qualities that they don’t have (and never will ), so they hate you for it. Everything about you makes them jealous and burn with envy. If they can’t have what you have then you don’t deserve to have it.

Your good qualities make you become their target and they will spend every minute of every day planning and plotting how to take “it” all away from you.

Your “it” factor could be your job, your looks, your car, your home, the way you smile. The fact that you have friends or a close family. It could be your hair or the fact you are a positive person.

Anything good about you irks them. They will only feel happy when you are in pain.

The ultimate pay back is for them to destroy you completely! Then they can say in their wicked hearts that you are no better than they are.

They want you hollow and will do everything in their power to make you an empty shell.

Narcissistic individuals are tormented people. The only emotion they feel is rage. The hate, envy, jealousy and destruction go hand in hand.

If you are able to get away from a person that you believe has targeted you for destruction, please do it now and do it quickly.

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-the-narcissist-want-to-see-you-destroyed-in-life-What-do-they-gain-from-it

[tellomon]