Tales From The Narc Side

[tellomon]

Page 26

Do narcissists want
people to leave them?

The narcissist wishes to have you, but to destroy you also. Unable to achieve this, the narcissist strikes a compromise — they will have a string of people just like you who they can destroy and replace.

When you are washed out, used up, broke down, you're no more use to the narcissist. You're supposed to make them look good, but currently you're infecting everyone with misery and really ruining the vibe.

Do the right thing and show yourself out.
_______________________________

Narcissists typically do not want people to leave them, as they often rely on others for validation, admiration, and a sense of self-worth. However, their behavior can drive people away due to traits such as lack of empathy, manipulation, and self-centeredness.

While they may push people away through their actions, they often fear abandonment and may react negatively when they sense someone is distancing themselves. In essence, narcissists desire relationships that bolster their self-esteem, but their behavior can paradoxically lead to isolation.
______________________________

I think yes and no. They want you to leave them, or rather leave them alone to do what they want. However, they also want you to leave behind or make available all the benefits of you: a home, care, financial support, social status, and anything else special to you but they are not willing to earn or achieve. What you have is more important than who you are to them. They will also hang on and make you miserable while they spend your money.
____________________________

Yes and no.

Yes if they have another supply they want to put in place of the present one and they know they can't keep two supplies under one roof and get away with it.

No because they may not have finished vacuuming yet and want to get their life's worth out of the supply.

To be honest I wouldn't be waiting around to find out if the narcissist wants me to leave - I would just go.

That did happen a few weeks ago when the narc was being strangely emotionally offhand (a few prior red flags had flown). I packed a bag and left.

That may not work for everyone but, after a lifetime of dealing with narcs, I had no energy to play games!

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-want-people-to-leave-them

[tellomon]

Why does a narcissist get bored so easily of everything?

Narcissists can't enjoy fun activities for a long time. They can only pretend to be fun and interesting. Their idea of fun is often going to a movie or doing something that distracts you from their boring personalities.

They know that if you spend time alone with them, you'll quickly realize how dull and uninteresting they truly are. There won't be much to talk about, and you'll realize you have nothing in common with them. They don't have any passions, interests, or goals. There's nothing that excites them or drives them.

They lack heart and soul. The reason they targeted you is because they lack all of that themselves. They targeted you in the hope that you could provide those missing pieces for them.

They thought you would give them something to live for. They saw your energy, spark, and excitement, and they wanted to be a part of it. They wanted to have some of that in their own lives.

However, when you get involved with a narcissist, even though it may seem great at first, you soon realize that nothing can make them happy. They can't have a good time. They always find something wrong or not good enough.
____________________________

Yes. You can accept that the reason they are bored is because they cannot be satisfied. So, they are constantly, CONSTANTLY looking for someone new. You can’t be that person for them.

They have already gotten to know you. You are old now to them. They don’t have a comfort zone, because being in a comfort zone causes for them to lose control of the fake personality they created for you to trap you. So, when they figure you out, and become comfortable with you, their OWN ugly personality begins to surface.

So, they MUST abandon the game they were playing with you and find another victim quickly to pick up their personality and begin the game with them. They may come back to you after they do the same use, abuse, toss out routine with that other person.

If they stay gone long enough, your personality will seem new to them, again. However, they will just get bored with you and your things again after a while, and start the process from the beginning once more.

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-get-bored-so-easily-of-everything

[tellomon]

Are narcissists demonic?

Narcissists are Demons from Hell.

Everyone that is or was with a narcissist knows how evil and insidious those people are. They don't care about love, loyalty, or honesty. All they care about is one thing they need to survive: Narcissistic Supply.

They suck the life out of people until they have nothing left—no life, energy, or money. Narcissists feed on the energy of others because they are sadistic emotional predators. They enjoy your pain, suffering, hopelessness, and attention, whether it is positive or negative.

All the abuse, lies, manipulation, deception, and confusion are fuel for them. This is all they have to offer. Those demons can only function when they have someone to abuse because they can't be alone, and their fragile ego must be fed constantly by destroying others. The more you suffer, the bigger their ego.

This is normal and easy for them because they have no soul, no empathy, no remorse, or understanding for others. Narcissists are selfish machines. No matter how much you love them, care for them, and support them, no amount of love and effort can change them because they want to live this way.

They've made a decision early in their life when they sold their soul to the devil, when they chose to give up on themselves and create this false self, a false persona which they think is real. In their confused and delusional mind, they think that they are kings and queens in a world that exists only in their damaged minds.

Damaged people are dangerous because they know how to make Hell feel like home. In their sick and twisted mind, you belong to them like a possession, like an object that has its purpose to serve them, to submit to them, and to worship them. They are slaves of their own ego, insanity, and toxicity.

When you first met them, you were impressed by their fake charm and were manipulated from the very beginning to like them, to submit to them, and to trust them. Those demons can have many forms, and one of their favorite tricks is to play the role of an angel to get you in their toxic trap and make you a victim of their abusive cycle, to make your worst nightmares come true.

The dream of true love and finally finding your soulmate turned into a never-ending nightmare.
_____________________________

The answer you get regarding this question is going to depend on the belief system of the person answering it. I believe in heaven and hell which means I also believe in God and Satan. To me, angels and demons are REAL.

I fought the spiritual battle against my ex, narcissistic husband’s demons. I prayed hard when I finally realized that I was facing abuse at his hands. I was blind to it and then, God opened my eyes. I saw the spiritual battle around me. One particular day, God told me to pray.

So, I did. I prayed earnestly, walking through every area of my home, a prayer of expectant faith, that God would remove the demons from my life. While praying, I heard and felt God’s voice tell me “Get ready for Me to move!” It was powerful. That very night, my ex decided to move out!!

I fully believe his demons hated my praying spirit. I visually saw his demons but did not connect the dots until he moved out. I wasn’t afraid of them because we had been married for 27 years, and they had become familiar spirits to me; just as you get used to a negative crowd when hanging out with the wrong people. When he moved out, they left with him. I no longer see them.

Yes, these demons control their minds. Yes, it’s a mental condition because the demons play with their minds. Call me crazy, too, if you like. But, I know what I’ve witnessed and experienced. I know God heard my cries, spoke to me, and did exactly what He said he would do.

There are many biblical stories documenting narcissistic behavior. One is if Elijah, Ahab, and Jezebel. The narcissistic spirit is called the Spirit of Jezebel. It is mentioned in Revelations. It is real and it is one of the most powerful demonic spirits.

If you are questioning whether it’s a demon, you likely already know.
____________________________

110% yes.

Let me ask you 3 questions and please reflect on this:

How come part of the human beings on planet Earth are super manipulative and yet the greater majority have zero knowledge of how to manipulate.

To successfully manipulate others, you must know a ton of tools really well. How to gaslight, how to guilt trip, how to mirror others and so many more.

I dated the narcissist pre internet age. Narcissism was not even a word I had ever encountered my whole life. Yet all narcissists around the world have an innate kind of evil cunningness that is beyond human intelligence.

From the bible, you can discern the characteristics etc. of the demonic. They hate human beings. They pose as the angel of light (love bombing behavior in narcissists), gaslighting - the serpent gaslighted Eve in the garden of Eden. Guilt tripping - Jude Iscariot guilt tripped the lady that washed the feet of Jesus with perfume.

Best is the following verse from the gospel of John:

1 John 3:10

This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Are-narcissists-demonic

____________________________

[tellomon]

Why do narcissists
future fake?
What do they get out of doing
that to people?

Before we start talking about why some Narcissists “future fake,” let’s talk a bit about the concept of future faking and the role it plays in new relationships when one member of the couple has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I will start with defining the term.

What is future faking?

Future Faking is a courtship strategy in which someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder acts as if you are the one they have been waiting for all their life. They start making plans for the two of you and they tell you about all the wonderful places that they want to take you in the future.

What does future faking look like?

Imagine you meet this appealing person on a first date. By your second date, they seem to have already decided the two of you are the perfect couple. They praise everything about you. They start talking about a future with you.

You may be a bit hesitant. After all, you barely know this person. You are thinking: “Isn’t this too soon to make this type of commitment?” But, on the other hand, it is nice to finally be in the company of someone who seems to really like you.

The possibility that this person really means everything they are saying leads you to start imagining a possible future with them. A future with no more bad dates and no more wondering whether your date really likes you as much as you like them. So, you decide to go with the flow and see what happens next. You do not want to risk missing out on something wonderful by being too skeptical. You like this person.

Now this person whom you hardly know starts describing the great times the two of you will have when they take you away this summer to their favorite resort. They start to describe in vivid detail all the amazing things the two of you will do together—the great restaurants you will eat in, the romantic walks along the beach, and even relatives and close friends that they want you to meet.

You get caught up in it and invite them to be your plus one at a family wedding in two months time and they immediately agree. You breathe a sigh of relief and think: “They must be serious. Why would they agree to go to a family wedding, if they weren’t in love with me?”

Here is an example of how future faking might sound:

You have never been to Paris in the Fall? I can’t wait to show you around. I know Paris like the back of my hand. It is the most romantic of cities! I have an idea. Let’s make the trip longer and end up in Rome. There is nothing more beautiful and atmospheric than the Tivoli Fountain lit up at night.

Is future faking always just lies?

No. Many people get over enthusiastic in the early stages of infatuation—including many people with NPD. They are too quick to assume that they have found their ideal mate and now the two of you will live happily ever after. In this case, they are not pretending. They are happily playing out aloud their favorite inner fantasy that they have now projected onto you and the new relationship with you.

How common is narcissistic future faking?

Not all people with NPD start planning an entire life together after a first date, but It is very common. How common? Well, I hear about it frequently from my clients who are dating, especially those clients who are meeting people through dating apps. It is common enough for it to appear in a question on Quora and for lots of non-narcissistic people to be wondering about how wary they need to be when their new lover starts to plan a future together.

What is wrong with future faking?

Even if the person with NPD is not consciously trying to fool their new lover, most of the time this type of premature planning ends in disappointment. The Narcissist jumps into the deep end too fast. People with NPD are often quite impulsive and uncritically go with their current emotion without thinking it through.

In addition, because Narcissists lack emotional empathy, they are not worrying about the possibility of raising unrealistic expectations and then disappointing the other person. The reality is that more often than not, the narcissistic lover will get bored or start to find fault with this person and that will be the end of the relationship. The Narcissist will forget or renege on every promise they made—including being your date for your cousin’s wedding.

Why do Narcissists do future faking?

The line between sincerity and insincerity is nearly invisible for people with NPD. In the moment, they might actually feel sincere. But, they are not factoring in that they should wait before sharing their fantasies about a possible rosy future with you.

They feel free to change their mind at any moment. When their infatuation wears off and they lose interest in fulfilling the future plans, they can easily rationalize the change in their thinking. Here are some of the things Narcissists tell me about these situations:

I meant it when I said it. It just didn’t work out between us. Why blame me?

They are not who I thought they were. They fooled me. I don’t owe them anything.

They should have realized that I was just trying to be entertaining.

It was fun while it lasted.

What about insincere future faking?

Sometimes Narcissists use future faking as a seduction technique. This is particularly cruel because they know that the glowing picture that they are painting is totally fake. They are using it as a cold blooded strategy to get sex and attention from someone new.

Also, many people with NPD are poor conversationalists. They tend to develop a set of stories or strategies that they believe show them in a good light and use the same ones with almost everyone. Elaborate future faking can be a substitute for real conversation and a way to avoid actually showing real interest in the other person.

Punchline: Narcissists use future faking to enjoy themselves, entertain someone they are interested in for the moment, and as a way to get sex and validation.

https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-future-fake-What-do-they-get-out-of-doing-that-to-people

What future faking IS
vs what it is NOT

@NarcSurvivor
2 years ago
Future faking is when they promise something about your future without taking the steps to make it a reality. Most narcissists will do this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7hz7o7gIw

[tellomon]

When a Narcissist Can't Control You,
They Try These 3 Tricks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CvMXOkuri0

[tellomon]

Its a waste of time, energy and breath to try to talk and make them listen.
What a Narcissist HEARS when you Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga9WvfmC0DY

[tellomon]

An Important Message From Ron Tello

It's about CONTENT. What's in here, over there and in my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCYJvMYy-_Y&t=2743s

[tellomon]

Which ones are the most common behaviors among narcissists?

In my experience the typical behaviors in narcissists are as follows:

They always wear a mask so others won’t see their true selves.

They only care about themselves.

They try to control their SO by gaslighting and other ways to make their SO feel crazy.

They smear their SOs name.

The narc will try to isolate their SO from family and friends.

They talk trash about their SOs friends and don’t like their SO to have any friends.

Narcs get jealous when others make you happy.

Narcs criticize others physical appearance.

Narcs use the silent treatment to punish you for whatever they believe that you did to them.

They judge others very harshly.

Narcs enjoy chaos.

Narcs lie and make up stories to gaslight you, so then you question your own reality.

They are all verbally abusive to their SO to control the SO.

They are all victims.

The narc will viciously gossip about about anyone that crosses them…even if it’s their fault.

Narcs will leave and stay gone for hours, days, and come back when they feel like they have punished you enough.

Narcs hate being wrong.

These are some of the characteristics that I personally witnessed.
____________________________

A Narcissist’s pattern of behaviour is this

**Love bombing**

When you first meet they create the illusion of ‘love at first sight’.

They are your soul mate. You are the one they have always been looking for.

They ‘future fake’ make future plans for the two of you.

The relationship advances at warp speed. Sex, compliments, gifts.

They take up all your time both in reality and in your mind space.

You can’t stop thinking about them.

They contact you several times a day.

You have less time for friends and family because you are so focused on them.

Non stop attention. Who, on this planet doesn’t want that?

It seems to good to be true. It is.

You have just been ensnared in the narcissist’s trap.

**Devaluation**

The relationship is losing it’s heat.

Cracks are starting to show.

You are a little confused.

You don’t understand why they contact you less.

Sometimes, they are busy.

The sex is infrequent.

You are starting to be criticised.

You can’t explain where it’s all going wrong.

The initial love bombing is the best memory you have and it convinces you can get it back.

You can’t.

It was just the hook.

Now you are on the line.

**Discard**

The roller coaster ride is over. Or is it.

You feel discarded by the narcissist.

Shut off, dumped.

You are not.

You have been placed on the shelf in the mind of the narcissist.

And if in the future the narcissist decides they want you back.

Not because they love you and want you back. No, it’s because you can supply something they need they in the moment.

They will hoover you, use you up and put you back on the shelf.

This can happen many times.

When? Days or weeks or months or years later.

For how long? A lifetime if you don’t put a stop to it.

This may include the beginning of smearing.

**Hoovering**

This is the name given to the action of sucking you back into their supply chain.

It is done by saying....

Sorry.

I made a mistake.

I miss you.

Remember how good we were together.

Let’s get back to that.

Everything you want to hear is being said.

They may send in ‘flying monkeys’. Friends manipulated to find out if it’s a good time to hoover or not.

Or even ask you to call the narcissist.

So it works. You are on the roller coaster again.

Once you understand fully the narcissists dynamic you will be able to free yourself and recover fully.

**Be assured you will be able to free yourself and recover fully.**

It is a process, be patient.

This is what the narcissist wants from you. Some or all of these.

Narcissists need four things to supply themselves to feel good.

Most of these things only last a short time and must be constantly acquired from a number of sources. i.e. not just you.

1. Control

Control of other people and situations.

No control allows the empty feeling to rise up and increase in strength.

It can produces cold or heated fury which will erupt.

The ‘empty feeling’ means they feels as if they don’t exist or aren’t valued.

2. Fuel

Admiration from others.

In the form....

Compliments.

Getting the best seats.

Gifts.

Being constantly propped up emotionally.

The list is endless.

3. Character Traits

They attach themselves to others in reality and sometimes by saying they know these people, who have had success in their lives or is high profile in some way.

Such as....

Medal winners - Olympians - Tennis champions.

Actors -‘A’ listers.

Politicians.

A titled person - A Prince.

Someone with money.

Someone much younger.

The purpose of this is that the narcissist can say my partner is an Olympian.

I used to go out with an actress.

I know a famous architect.

My friend is a billionaire.

If these things are not true, it doesn’t matter to the narcissist.

As long as the listener is impressed. Narcissists live in the moment.

4. Residual benefits

Basic and extended needs provided by the victim.

Examples include but are not limited to....

Sex.

Accommodation, often free of charge, for many years.

Transport.

Money.

Clothes.

Food.

Internet.

Gifts - computer, new car.

Connections to others.

Employment.

Also read the posts....

‘The Supply Matrix of the Narcissist’

And

‘If you know then go go go’.

Best wishes for your recovery and beyond.

https://www.quora.com/Which-ones-are-the-most-common-behaviors-among-narcissists

[tellomon]

“They see themselves as the trash they treat you as".
5 Things a Narcissist is Doomed to Fail At

@simonpegg1196
10 months ago
Accountability: Zero
Trustworthiness: Zero
Empathy: Zero.
Love: Minus.
Authenticity: Zero
Wickedness: Infinite
In short, not worthy of being called a human being. This is a narc in a nutshell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTtXvnWh9Ws

[tellomon]

You never get financial, social, emotional, physical support from them. Whether you gave your whole life fully to them. They are rotten monsters.
3 Crimes a Narcissist Commits out of their Jealousy for You

@jenniferpierce8860
1 year ago
Slowly poisoned, yes that's what it's like to be around narcissists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tl0EFGtOw8

[tellomon]

"I'm seriously..."

[tellomon]

Their "masks are very slick and deceptive." Their "voice" inflection is also deceptive and scarily manipulative. What a way to be and live, shallow, hollow, empty.
5 Dark Secrets a Narcissist Doesn't Want You to Know

@carparthero
1 month ago
5 Forbidden Secrets a Narcissist Doesn't Want You Know
1- I must mirror your morality to avoid exposure.
2- I am terrified of death and disease.
3- I am emotionally dead inside. i only feel fear, shame and that becomes anger.
4- I am addicted to manipulating others and get a high from your pain.
5- I have superstitious beliefs that i feel will help me control other people.

One underlying emotion all covert/overt narcissists have is ENVY. They can't stand anyone who's better than them in any way. They hate even more when people are able to do better without the narcissist.

https://www.youtube.com/live/LOJzBh3vsSw

[tellomon]

.

[tellomon]

All narcissists hurt others through passive aggressive tactics.
5 Secret Things That Make a Narcissist Collapse Everyday

@elizabethbettencourt1116
1 month ago
1. When things don't go their way.
2. When expected to give unconditionally .
3. When they see someone more accomplished than them.
4. When you ask them to take action about their problems.
5. When you get help from others.

These...wow! All truth

https://www.youtube.com/live/wOBkthLMAHY

[tellomon]

They are silently greedy. Not your money. Your soul.
WHY IT WOULD NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE NARCISSIST

@user-ro3rv4nw2n
23 hours ago
People who have no empathy are also selfish. I read that a lack of empathy breaks into callousness and sadism. Selfishness breaks into vindictiveness, entitlement, and deceitfulness.

In plainer terms, their personality is being cold, cruel, vindictive, entitled, and lying. This collection of traits characterizes people who are willing to use people as disposable objects that exist solely for their needs and can justify this disposability of people they encounter by writing them off as less than them and treating them with contemptuous dismissiveness.

So basically treat other human beings as trash. They use them up and then throw them out. When you see someone having a lack of empathy watch out. You can get badly hurt by them. They are very dangerous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvnOZAhelTk

[tellomon]

Because demons don't like light.
6 Realest Reasons Why Narcissists Hate You

@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Narcs are at war with themselves. We are the casualties.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BuRDB6kI-Y

[tellomon]

Don’t play their games… You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
How to Talk to a Narcissist

"Look within and understand you don't need an apology to validate your own feelings." 
Practical tools when dealing with a narcissist, there's a place in your mind you have to go to to deal with a narcissist. Don't play the game. Any time you are talking to a narc you are walking into their trap. Unless they get praise they will provoke because they delight in your frustration.

This is not something you can win. They feed off of that control. They want the spotlight entirely on them. It is a game.  Best thing you can do:
Recognise you are in a game.
 
1. Choose to take your pieces off the board.

2. Best move you can make is no move at all. Say nothing, It cant be misquoted. Choose silence. Your silence can't be twisted. Stay neutral in the convo. Avoid saying things that are hurtful, ugly, rude or disrespectful to put them down. - say "ok" "noted." "thank you for saying that". "I understand".

3. Go to a place in your mind. Don't try and convince. They cant understand. Stop trying. Empty hole. Get to a place where you think to yourself - switch- it's time I think about myself and my peace of mind and where I draw my strength from. Narcs only take. You're not going to get an apology. Instead think you don't need an apology.  Put down the shovel and keep on walking.

--- Jefferson Fisher

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T80inmY_OWw

[tellomon]

True intelligence is the ability to apply gained knowledge that has been researched as fact, and the ability to adapt to any changes of those facts, including the ability to admit you were incorrect.
3 Stupid Habits Narcissists Believe
Make Them Look Smart

@SylviaAmpah
1 month ago (edited)
1. Typical copycats. Will even copy the way u talk to people.
2. Will make silly interruptions during conversations, usually total change of subject.
3. Love for grandiose stories; example "I was smarter than all my colleagues in my class etc.

4. Making fun of others flaws & performance.
5. Will talk trash to demean others and end up wearing a demonic smile and you're expected to smile back and maintain eye contact.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYYP1PlWuDc

[tellomon]

They don't want a partner. They want you to
WORSHIP THEM.
They actually have NO CONTROL. Only false control.

5 Ways a Narcissist Reacts When You Become FEARLESS

@LavenderandLinen
8 months ago
“Your rage is honest” I’ve never thought about this before. But you are so right. Our rage is honest, their rage is manipulative. Honest rage is something that they don’t understand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHEkkpqKn-k

[tellomon]

Standing order #1 regarding dealing with a narc is 'never let them see you sweat'.

How to Speak to a Narcissist When They Try to Manipulate You

@2ruamerican
10 months ago
when u use logic, they change the topic in the fight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWTLZNjk9HM

[tellomon]

Never be afraid of a narc. Behind that bully is a coward.
How To Outsmart and Shut Down A Narcissist

Sometimes you cannot go no-contact with a narcissist, meaning you will be exposed to them in all sorts of settings. Dr. Les Carter explains that you still have reasonable options as you are faced with their annoying tendencies. As you mentally match your expectations with reality, you can then choose to speak up in ways that clearly let the narcissist know that you won't get sucked into their negativity.



@SHANDI1967
1 year ago
A few of the best ways I’ve learned how to shut down an narcissist is to not engage with them, do not seek their approval, do your own thing, most of all, stay calm! They want you to blow your stack so they can can then turn around and point their fingers and tell everyone “ See, I told you so (about you)”. Don’t join their circus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBdX398T7zM

[tellomon]

Do narcissists know they're lying to people about you?

They do.

In order to lie effectively one must know the truth. Going in cold on a lie will probably make the narcissist look foolish. That is untenable to them. They must twist the truth in with the lie for it to stick.

Narcissists know what they are doing. They know what they want the outcome of their lies and manipulations to be. They could be different if they didn’t love their evil so much.

Many people still view them as victims of a disorder, which evidently prohibits them from being blamed for their atrocities.

Personally, I wish they’d all die of hemorrhoids.
____________________________

You better know they know!!! That's why they're projecting their bs on to you because it's bogus af and they want people to believe it's you. All apart of the fake ass victim, non accountability game they play. F*ck whatever they say you both know they are some pathological ass liars. Just get tf away...the longer you stay the more they project they're bullshit on to you!!! I promise it ain't worth the headache!!!

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-theyre-lying-to-people-about-you

[tellomon]

How do you verbally disarm a narcissist?

You disarm a narcissist by not giving Narcy what he or she is seeking. A narcissist is seeking your time, your energy, your attention, your praise, your care and concern, your compassion, your understanding, your empathy, your pity, your anger, your emotions, etc.

Basically, a narcissist is seeking your response. This person is a dishonest and highly manipulative individual who lacks a sense of shame and will go to extreme ends to get what he or she is after.

Happy people don’t get sucked into other peoples drama. Happy people learn that some people are toxic and the best response to toxic people is often no response. Happy people have learned to listen beyond words and judge behavior over intentions and justifications or excuses.

You have total control over what you think about and how you choose to respond and behave. You have the right to ignore. You have the right to not care. You have the right to walk away. You have the right to not explain yourself. You have the right to misunderstand and be misunderstood.

You have the right to remember it differently. You have the right to take your time and to change your mind. And you have the right enforce your boundaries with consequences to protect yourself from toxic people. (A consequence is something you will do - like walk away, hang up, limit your exposure to…, etc)

Narcissists try to bait you to divulge too much information. This information is used to fuel whatever fire they are stoking. Your goal is to suffocate the fire so that it lacks the oxygen to ever burn in the first place. Going no contact is best.

If you can’t go no contact then you need to become a boring gray rock. Your answers should be non answers said flatly and emotionlessly like “oh” or “wow” or “I remember it differently” and walk away. Do not elaborate or explain. Another technique is to BIFF your response (Brief, Informative, Factual, and Firm). Ignore all of the toxic rhetoric and respond strictly to the facts at hand.

Do not divulge anything else. Do not let it upset you. You have the right to not care what this technically crazy shameless liar says. You have the choice to not let his or her words inflame your response. Do not take the bait. If you do get caught up occasionally, forgive yourself and move on.
___________________________

You don't.

They will always have words to say, mostly lies and slander. And the more you argue or try and “disarm" them the more and more shite spews out of their mouths. I learned just to shut down. When they start in and it's something you don't agree with or is just a flat out lie, just sit there and be quiet.

Slowly disengage yourself from the converstation. Walk away. If a narc has no ears to listen to their bullshit, they will cease talking to you and search until they find someone that will listen to whatever they have to say.
_________________________

By not fighting. The narc wants to ensnare you, to bait you and hook you. But you don’t take the bait because you see the hook. Here are some suggestions for responses. These are from Lisa Romano. Google her.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

I can accept your perception of me. (That doesn’t mean you agree with it.)

I have no right to control how you perceive me.

I can accept your feelings.

I don’t want to argue about this anymore.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-verbally-disarm-a-narcissist

[tellomon]

What makes a narcissist run from you?

Traits That Make Narcissists Run Away

There are two key traits that can cause narcissists to run away from you:

Being your authentic self and living in your own truth. Narcissists hate when you retain your interests, boundaries, and fully express yourself. They want to control and manipulate you.

Holding the narcissist accountable and asking for clarification. Narcissists hate being held responsible for their actions. They will try to guilt, threaten, or attack you when you stand up to them.
______________________________

Complete indifference on your part for a start. A narcissist fears nothing more, than realising how unimportant they actually are. Go complete no-contact. Ignore the smear campaign, ignore any form of hoover. Then make yourself as invisible and boring to this person as you possibly can.

If they continue to try to abuse you or stalk you. Make sure you have a strong trusting network around you. Then tell Narcy you’ll expose them for who they truly are, or report them to the authorities. These people are cowards, and their reputation comes before anything else.

Their avoidance of you may hurt and confuse you to begin with, but it really means you win! You’re free! Good Luck x.
___________________________

Hopefully, it’s something that you said or did.

Narcissists avoid for one reason and one reason only. You said or did something that made them feel discarded. That is an affront to their core belief that they are superior to you. No one would dare disparage them, make them responsible for their actions or leave them.

If you called them on their outrageous behavior, their constant criticism, their abuse, gaslighting, lack of empathy and made them accountable for all of the characteristics that make a narcissist a narcissist, they would avoid you like the plague. They strategically use these maneuvers to disguise who they really are. A 5 year old having a tantrum. A narcissist’s idea of abuse is not getting their way.

Their false self can’t stand being outed. They bully to protect their false self from being revealed. Their low self esteem needs constant protection. What better way to protect, than to attack.

When you stand up for yourself, they feel abused. Why would they stay and be abused? Especially, from someone they think so little of. And so, we confirm to them how weak we are and spineless by sticking around for further abuse from them.

The only way a narcissistic relationship ends is when we call it quits. That’s the signal for them to avoid us. They have been discarded and that is their greatest fear. That’s why they do the discarding as much as possible, but usually, only when they have new supply lined up.

So walk away and see what happens. Show them your strong side and stop them in their tracks. Laugh at them. Be merciless. You can no longer put their feelings above yours anymore. They will kill your soul. They will destroy you just because they can.

Take back your life. That is the final discard.

https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-run-from-you

[tellomon]

Are narcissists bad people?

OMG when I saw this I just had to answer! ABSOLUTELY!

They are the worst people you will ever meet in your life.

They serve NO positive purpose on this planet.

They contribute nothing.

They use people, take from people and their ultimate goal is to destroy anyone and everything that comes into their path.

They have no good or positive intentions. Nothing positive will ever come out of their mouth. Because when they are talking they are LYING! And I mean they will lie about everything.

They will fabricate everything. Even the stories and smear campaign they have going on about you from the very beginning. Nothing in their lives is real. It is all a fake facade.

They don’t love. They don’t know how to love. They pretend. They deliberately go out of their way to cut everyone in their lives up. Doesn’t matter who. They will cut up complete strangers just to make themselves feel better. They love nothing more than taking you from where you were when they met you to completely destroying you and everything you worked your entire life for.

It doesn’t matter what job they have. How much money they have. They will lie, cheat and steal from you. They will make false accusations to the police and any authority figure against you. Or any sucker who will listen. They will file fake restraining orders, take you to court, whatever it takes until your demise.

They would even love to see you dead.

That is how morbid they are. And tell you that you deserve to die. Just so they can get sympathy from others at your own funeral. That’s just how sick and selfish they are! Everything they do is intentional and planned. So they will willfully knowing try everything to destroy! And will love every single minute of it. So yes, they are scum that walk this earth horrible people.

I can’t even call them human beings.
_________________________________

Yes.

They purposely pretend to be something they are not. Coverts are extra bad because they will act overly sweet, fragile, considerate, kind and it’s all fake! It’s the only way people don’t immediately run away from them. Underneath all the acting, the false persona, is darkness. An abusive, selfish, demanding child that has no empathy for others.

They will manipulate, deceive and stop at nothing to get what they want without thought to those they harm. They will purposely inflict punishment on anyone that sees through their manipulations. They are the Dr Jekyll / Mr Hyde. Coverts are known to do more psychological harm on their victims than the obvious ones.

They are very bad people indeed!
_____________________________

Covert narcissists are not people at all, they are anti-people.

The covert narcissist is deeply envious of those who have worked hard to develop skills, talents empathy, relationships, morality — and all the rest of the elements that make up a person.

The narcissist has focussed on their powers of manipulation, they have put all their eggs in that basket.

The narcissist derives their sense of personhood by getting other people to acknowledge their superiority. As they are seldom superior in any way, due to their lifetime focus on manipulation, the narcissist generally (99% of the time) makes do with ruining other people's days.

Ruining someone's day proves to the narcissist that they are a better person. Only a superior person could ruin the day of another. The narcissist is also attempting to prove how pathetic people are, how developing into a person is a waste of time, all you need in life is the ability to manipulate.

Covert narcissists are people eaters.

https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Are-narcissists-bad-people

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

Why The Narcissist Is NOT Happier With New Supply

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJIIre0tWM

[tellomon]

They’re the most paranoid, anxious, insecure people ever. It’s the weight of all that guilt and shame they carry that eats away at them.
The Demonic Spirit Within the Narcissist & Spiritual Warfare

@Ranunculus924
2 months ago
God is not the author of confusion.


@robbieogle8622
2 months ago
They are damaged people that refuse to heal. They are jealous of those that heal.


@Sigma_Paul126
2 months ago
Narcs are Demons!!


@rapstar4575
2 months ago
Yes they are evil. Yes they have evil spirits within.


@phat-katkitchen283
2 months ago
They make you seem like you're going crazy while they think they're perfect!


@user-yy9op7uo2c
2 months ago
The narcissists nefarious sixth sense is the download of information they get from demons.


@casperinsight3524
2 months ago
They were never all in.
You served a purpose.
That's it, that's all folks.
You were played.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFAbvZPmPAo

[tellomon]

What do narcissists enjoy doing the most in a relationship?

The answer is quite simple: Control!

Narcissists get into relationships for darker reasons than you might think. They care more about control than love or being desired. Narcissists are users and abusers. They see friends as people they can manipulate and partners as emotional punching bags.

Their goal is to take everything they can from you and leave you with nothing. They have high expectations and believe they're entitled to more from others than they deserve.

Because of this, boundaries annoy them, and they aim to break them down. Narcissists hate seeing others with independence, confidence, or individuality.

Their ideal relationship is one where they have full control over the other person. They want someone who will put up with their lies, cheating, mistreatment, manipulation, and disrespect without pushing back. They want relationships where they set all the rules, and the other person just obeys.

Narcissists want relationships where the other person only speaks when spoken to, agrees with everything they say, and only challenges them if asked. They also want to control who you spend time with and be the final decision-maker in your life. They expect respect, loyalty, and consideration without giving anything in return.

For them, relationships should revolve around their needs and desires. They don't want to put in any effort but still get all the benefits of companionship. Unfortunately, relationships with narcissists almost always end badly.

The only way to make a relationship with a narcissist work is to become their doormat and tolerate their behavior. But even then, the relationship will be unhealthy and one-sided. You'll end up sacrificing your time, energy, and resources because narcissists only want relationships that give them total control.
___________________________

The narcissist enjoys you making them look good. This is not a relationship, as they do not relate to you, no matter how hard you try to relate to them. They see you as you are: pathetic, servile, lonely; they just can't relate.

Doing this all the time — using you to make them look and thus feel good is humiliating, as it requires a lot of lying, toadying and placing lips on buttocks. You become resentful, surly, and you even start to make them look bad.

NEXT!
_________________________

Narcissists enjoy doing the most things that make them look good and feel powerful. They love being in control and feeling superior to their partners. So they often enjoy dominating and manipulating their partners, as well as putting them down.

They also get a lot of pleasure from being admired and praised, so they may engage in grandiose displays of wealth or power, or they may try to be the center of attention at all times. Ultimately, narcissists derive a great deal of satisfaction from wielding power and control over others.
________________________

Train their partner like a dog, to openly anticipate the narc’s needs based on whatever he feels, except sex because they withheld sex with their partner.

Let’s get to it, you can’t enjoy anything while you hate your partner, and they hate their partner because they hate themselves and since their partner loves them, he is clearly broken and in need of killing.

Basically what a narc enjoys is killing slowly their partner through:

Lies, gaslighting, cheating, devaluing, repeated triangulation, talking to exes, having a large group withholding affection, withholding sex, rejecting, manufacturing fake reality, you name it.

Think of the devil, and the devil is here to kill your soul, but the devil has a sexy body, which he won’t give to you, but rather to anyone else and make you watch, then laugh at how stupid you are for not seeing it early, and he will do it for as long as you want him to. He will keep hovering and answer your calls. He’s not going away, he's enjoying it wayyyy to much…and he’s entitled to it

Narcs will like 2 things: extravagance and the illusion of status. Owning things having great effect, manipulating and most importantly.... supply.

In general, some narcs love to travel, they like drinking or drugs, smoking, sex but most importantly they like to be independent and do what they want.

So in no particular order, depending on the narc and the relationship they like:

Spending your money.

Living off you, with all expenses paid.

Convincing you to get a job to cover their expenses.

Making you do something, isolating you, controlling you, getting you to choose between them and the parents.

If they like pets you need more pets. 4 5 6 whatever they can get you to agree to.

Traveling.

Massage preferably by a professional that you pay for.

Expensive objects, could be a pc for guys or a phone/makeup/stuff for girls.

Exes and friends, you won’t find anyone ever more into dating, exes and just friends, you have to understand they wouldn’t cheat they are not like that.

Triangulation and cheating…they want you to know, and know it’s your fault you made them do it…and ….they will do it again.

Usually some sort of machiavellian game in which someone else gets hurt but trough indirect actions. Favorite activities include home wrecking - a favorite sport, because of the implied secrecy.

Looking like a good person that helps people, anything to bolster that facade.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-enjoy-doing-the-most-in-a-relationship

[tellomon]

Why are narcissists so miserable?

Every action has a reaction.

And with every attempt at destroying God’s children, narcissists are being punished in this life too.

So in my opinion, they deserve every minute of the miserable life they lead.

F*CK'EM. They earned it.
____________________________

Narcissists are miserable because a lot of their own happiness relies on the happiness of others.

The part of the brain responsible for empathy, called the Left Anterior Insula Cortex, is also responsible for feelings of well-being.

The truth is, as individuals, we don't always experience great success. We face difficult times, setbacks, and moments of struggle. But when we can be part of other people's lives, sharing laughter during tough times, offering support in difficult moments, and celebrating their achievements, we gain extra happiness. Connecting with others helps alleviate feelings of loneliness, and sharing experiences gives us the joy of being understood and understanding others.

If we always have to be better than everyone else, we miss out on the happiness that comes from genuine connections with others.
__________________________

Narcissists carry internal shame from their youth. Whether real or perceived, they felt emotionally abandoned or ignored. Because early needs for emotional fulfillment didn’t occur, the narcissist grows up feeling a sense of lack, a sense of not good enough. This leads to a life of comparison, envy, self-victimization, and feeling individuated from other siblings, friends, students.

The core shame is suppressed and a false facade (fake personality) is developed through adolescence to cope with the external world. They betray their true selves as being unlovable, unpopular, stupid, ugly, angry, grotesque - often messages of shame that they received from a parent or caretaker either directly or indirectly.

Into adulthood, they use their facade like an actor uses a memorized script. Learning through experience to be attractive, be funny, be memorable, be desirable, be sporty, be popular. They become socially astute and mirror the people who can help them, serve them, teach them, love them.

Unfortunately, it’s not genuine and eventually, those closest pullback or become less enchanted.

The mask slips.

For the narcissist, their life becomes a constant struggle to keep people where they want them. To control and manipulate others by playing on sympathies and using conditional tactics to keep people from leaving (fear of others abandoning is a major underlying fear and motivation). Where necessary, the narcissist will abandon partners before they can be abandoned first. Reactions are childish but also abusive, petty, and selfish.

The sadness is because a narcissist can never feel whole and loved for being themselves. The narcissist constantly needs attention, validation, and praise, but at the same time, they can’t ever be sure the ‘other’ is being true.

When a partner says they love them, they know it only the good parts that have been divulged. Much of the narcissist true core is hidden under shame and fear.

Most narcissists are prone to bouts of depression and disappointment.
____________________________

Narcissists are unhappy… they are bitter and resentful, because they are unable to change how they feel or their outlook on life, and they don't know how to "fix" this so they blame you and the world for their problems.

At the heart of the NPD inflicted individual, is someone who takes little or no accountability for their own thoughts, actions, behaviors – and instead point their finger towards others.

Blame-shifting and projection.

Denial about who they really are.

No accountability or responsibility.

Narcissists always find something to be unhappy about, even when there is lots of good stuff they could turn their attention to if they wanted – they are a magnate to the negative and dramatic.

And they can't have you feeling good, happy, or proud. Not on their watch.

Any good feeling which is not active within them, they will immediately extinguish if active in others.
______________________________

Basically b/c they are selfish, spoiled children. They never get past the emotional age of between 4–14, depending on what they want in that moment. They are like very spoiled toddlers. They have very fragile egos, and believe that if they diminish you, that lifts them up.

None of it is conscious however. They actually believe they are wonderful, caring people. And that all of their (or your) problems are b/c of you…If YOU would just be nicer, more tolerant, more forgiving, etc etc…your life together would be a fairytale.

NPDs use others. You are an object to them for their use. So even as they are betraying or abusing you - they are finding ways to internalize why it is YOUR fault they ‘have to’ do it.

They have normal IQs, but a selfish child’s emotions. They can get through college or various job trainings, but they cannot “learn” how to be a kind &/or loving person - b/c 1) they don’t know what that looks like, and 2) they believe they already are. Stubborn and selfish = Rotten.
__________________________

It has been ingrained in them since childhood and it's most likely a defense mechanism, but also a serious disorder. That still is not an excuse for how anal and cruel they can be to the people who they deceive and make love them.

Narcissists are selfish. Self centered. Egotistical.

Fragile. Broken. Hopeless. Angry. Bitter. Pathetic. They are the empty shells of the person they might have been before their trauma.

So they want their good natured victims who possess everything they're not, to suffer because of it.

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-miserable

[tellomon]

How do you make a narcissist go crazy for what they have done to you?

The whole point of narcissistic abuse is you going crazy. And now you really are going crazy thinking of ways how to make a narcissist crazy, because the abuse they’ve done is beyond compare.

I don’t judge you for wanting a narcissist to suffer because I’ve been there, I’ve had these feelings. Most of us here have been seriously contemplating some type of revenge at one point.

I know that this is probably not the answer you are looking for, but it’s the only truth you need. And until you accept that truth, you won’t be able to move on from wanting to “win”, get an upper hand or revenge on a narcissist.

You won’t be able to stop wishing harm to them. Because this isn’t you, you’re not the kind of person who cares about “winning” a game with anyone really. You may even wonder how did you even get into this state where you want to have revenge on someone? You know you’re better than that. And much simpler, because the things you want are simple - you want justice, equality, sense of peace.

You just want to get your old self back and erase this chapter from your life. You want to live. And still, you may be convinced that if you manage somehow to hurt a narcissist, you will feel better.

Here’s the thing;

All of the bad things that you can think of trying to do to a narcissist (you name them - harassing, stalking, hacking, sending long essays, long e-mails about how they suck or how they hurt you, being angry in front of their face, trying to manipulate them, telling them they are a Narcissist, “exposing them”, laughing at them, blocking-deleting-blocking-deleting, being salty or shady, throwing eggs at their house, for god’s sake even pulling off their pants in public) just won’t work.

Because all those things make you FOCUSED on a narcissist. And (I’m not even exaggerating), your focus on them is their #1 reason to live. Their living and breathing depends on you being ensnared and obsessed by them, either in a positive or negative way. They want you to waste your time on them, they can only benefit from you actively trying to make them feel your hurt and that’s exactly one thing you should avoid doing.

You must embrace the fact that you’re living in a new awareness now once you’ve learnt about Narcissism. I’m sure you wonder “Why me, why was I the one who had to go through this? I did not deserve this abuse.”

And you’re right, you didn’t deserve this. Nothing in your life prepared you for it. No one in this world can apologize for it, ever. But by living in your new awareness and having the knowledge and the experience you had, you’ll be 100 times more careful with people you let in your life from now on. If you mentally survived this, you can survive anything. You’ve championed this and there is nothing to fear anymore. You know what kind of life you want to live from now on.

A narcissist cannot be changed by you and honestly, they shouldn’t be changed by you. Your life’s purpose is not to take care of a sad little insecure kid living in an adult body. I’m sure your life’s purpose is much greater and more significant than that. Go on and live your best life, and somewhere beneath those layers, I assure you it’s going to play out as your winning moment for a life time.

Yes they will sense you have moved on and it will be enormously effective. Because this is the type of “revenge” you won’t be putting any thoughts or effort into, you’re just going to be you, yourself – living your best beautiful life unapologetically. That’s how you move on and at the same time, make a narcissist go crazy without actually even trying, because you decided that there’s no place for them in your new life anymore.

And you know what is the most beautiful thing? Once you reach that point where you’re living your true life, you won’t even care if they go crazy or not. You just will not care because you will realize that your life is worth so much more than focusing on this hollow & miserable wax figure we call a narcissist.

What you need now is detachment and healing.

Go and read everything you can about being No Contact and take it into action, do it properly. Learn from the damage that was done to you and remind yourself what kind of loving and empathetic person you are.

Arm yourself with knowledge and you will find your own closure. Bring the focus back on you and all those things awaiting you to love them will come naturally, as you’re holding the brush and painting your new reality.
__________________________

I love this question as honestly so many people are suffering way too much at the hands of these evil people.

You will drive the narcissist crazy:

When you are the hated one and you survive. You not only survive the hatred strategy but become happy again.

When no matter what the narcissist does to trigger your anger, you remain collected and polite. I love it! It takes enormous self discipline.

When we do not show emotions with them. No supply here you monster is the real message.

When we discard the narcissist but please be careful as this is bound to create a narcissistic injury and you can easily become the hated one.

When we don’t take the calls of the narcissist.

When we act unemotional with the flying monkeys.

When we deal with the narcissist in a smart manner.

When we show them that morality pays in life. Stick to the right path and heaven will provide enormous abundance.

When the child of a narcissist calls out the crap out of the narcissist parent. With partners, I do not suggest this but with the children of narcissists, yes I do. After all that torture, it will show the child has back bone to expose the parent for all the sick games.

When a narcissist has to face authorities. Bullshit has not managed to get them past this one.

When an alienated parent is reunited with the children!

Please drive all narcissists crazy. They must learn their lesson. Hating and destroying human beings is not a way to live your life.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-narcissist-go-crazy-for-what-they-have-done-to-you

[tellomon]

How do I fool a narcissist?

A clever way to handle a narcissist is to let them believe that they discarded you, allowing them to walk away feeling like the "winner" in your relationship (to them, everything is a game they must win at any cost).

Sometimes, it's necessary to outsmart those who think they're outsmarting you. This approach works best if you're genuinely ready to move on, hoping they'll leave you in peace.

Otherwise, I strongly advise against playing games with narcissists. They don’t handle being deceived well and will seek revenge, often in ways that are far more damaging.

Stay safe and good luck. (I share this from my personal experiences with covert narcissists.)
____________________________

You fool a narcissist by not allowing them to fool you.

You recognize their patterned and repetitive manipulations for what they are. You don’t even have to confront them. Remove yourself from their control and control yourself right out the door away from them and the situation they are trying to put you in. They need, want and require the attention they are trying to make you give them.

If you’ve been giving them all the supply you can muster, they think they have you under their control. Fool them by helping yourself and leaving.
____________________________

Narcissists have had their whole lives to become experts at manipulation. They've had way more than 10,000 hours of practice.

Part of learning how to fool a narcissist is believing that you can do it. You have to start to realize that:

This person might not be as smart as they think they are.

They might not be as powerful as they think they are.

You might not be as bad as they want you to believe.

When it comes to negotiating, a big part of it is believing that you can put forward a position and actually win. It's really hard to get out of the mindset that the narcissist has control and is stronger than you. But you have to start thinking "I can turn this around. I can shift the dynamic. They're not as strong as I think they are."

So the first step is believing in your own ability to fool the narcissist. You can do it without feeling beat up.

The second thing to remember is that the higher the narcissist flies, the harder they'll fall. They aren't as powerful as they pretend to be.

Narcissists need "narcissistic supply" - they get satisfaction from making you feel intimidated and controlled. So you can trick them by making them think something is really important to you, when it's actually not that important at all. Then they'll focus on trying to take that thing away from you, but you don't really care about it.

You can also fool them by not getting upset when they try to provoke an emotional reaction. Act upset, but inside stay calm and collected. This gives them less "narcissistic supply."

Another technique is called "bartering" - you can fluff up their ego a bit to get something you want from them. This is a way of tricking them.
_________________________

You don't want to fool a narcissist. If you do you're entering into the game of the narcissist. It is like no other game you have ever played, and you always lose.

So why would you want to go down that path? The only game you want to play with the narcissist is the keep away from their game.
_________________________

Technically… if you know what a narcissist is, and you know this individual is a narcissist, and you allow yourself to become supply to this narcissist....you are manipulating them. You would have seen something coming that shouldn’t have happened, and you would have done nothing to stop it.

That’s not the manipulation you are asking about. You are asking about revenge. You’d like to call it justice… but it is still revenge.

Here’s the thing about getting even. Your opponent has to agree and acknowledge that you “got even”. They would be acknowledging they did something, and they would be acknowledging that what you did was roughly equal to what they did. And… that it is over.

With the Narcissist… if admitting what they did will make them look bad, they aren’t going to admit anything. They would turn your act of revenge, into the First Shot Fired in an act of war. You would have started this, not them. And then you are fighting on two fronts… you are fighting the Narc, and fighting the public opinion.

Otherwise… if you are thinking about using stealth, you must remember that you, a person who has proven not to be a very good judge of character by allowing yourself to fall victim to the narcissist, are planning on going up against someone who has proven to be a pretty good judge of character, considering that they were able to read you and determine the best way to manipulate you.

They’ve got practice lying, manipulating, and reading people. That means it is easier for them to spot others that are doing it too. They *can* be blind to what someone is doing if they want to convince themselves otherwise… like if they think that what they want is within their reach.

So if you’ve got something the Narc really wants, you might be able to use that as leverage, and manipulate the Narc while you string them along. They’ll most likely spot the situation before you realize they’ve caught on… but you would have manipulated them.

https://abnormalpsychology101.quora.com/How-to-fool-a-narcissist

[tellomon]

The first thing to realize is you can’t fool the narcissist! A narcissist always has to be right and will do anything to protect his/her fragile ego.
5 Ways in Which You Can FOOL The Narcissist and Expose Them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsiuqL3QPmk

[tellomon]

Narcissists actually expect you to tolerate behavior they would never accept. They are insecure bullies that turn into petulant cowards when the tables get flipped on them.
5 Ways To Manipulate a Narcissist & Shut them Down

@Isabela2024-yr
3 months ago
I defeated the freaking narcissist. He thinks he's too smart, but I think he miscalculated me. He didn't expect I could outsmart him. Actually, they are not that smart. He thinks by yelling so loud, he can overpower me. He doesn't know I will open the door and windows for the neighbors to hear the nasty narcissist. The neighbors are the witnesses.  I embarrassed him left and right. One of the neighbors asked, "Are you ok?  I replied, "No, you should see the narcissist went hiding for months from our neighborhood".  Thank God the coward is gone.

@a.williams9
3 months ago
"Think the worst and you'll be certain" always works with a narcissist.

@SylisDaGoldenPeach
3 months ago
I’ve noticed something about the narcissist, they are scared to be alone. I know a girl who kept using people for money and rides but would dispose of them and not pay back the money. When she ran out of people to use she would go down the line apologizing and hitting back up the people who she did wrong. Even in real life I noticed how she’d always need someone new to talk gossip with when she wasn’t getting the praise she needed from the previous friend. Narcissists are in fact cowards.

@danmurray1143
3 months ago
The only good thing about narcissists is they are very predictable.  Once you learn this stuff you might be amazed at how easy it is to stay a play or two ahead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=630XRMaPEfU

[tellomon]

Indeed, they "do you dirty" and laugh at your pain. No decency, no civility. Like a demon, no compassion and no mercy.
10 Signs That A Narcissist Is Playing You For A Fool

Not only are narcissists not sincere, but they look for all sorts of ways to manipulate you for their gain. Dr. Les Carter identifies 10 of the most common ways narcissists will mess with you...and as you see their tactics for what they are, you can adjust accordingly.



@SitesWithAds
1 year ago
When they talk bad about their other friends behind their backs, you can be sure they are talking bad about you when you're not there.


@nancylarrea9396
7 months ago
Narcissists fool themselves into believing they are something they are not. It’s so silly, and sad to watch and they HATE being called out on it. And they really hate people that can see through them.


@bonnieanderson8476
1 year ago (edited)
This is why I would rather just be by myself! So many people are narcissist!

@fionabutchart4663
1 year ago
Love that “ I just want you to have your peace”. It is so peaceful when they are not around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boMNsDKFWXE

[tellomon]

This title already explains their recurring cycle of playing with you: first they play the innocent so that they can really confuse you which is the precondition to draw you into their chaos.
How Narcissists Fall From Innocence Into Confusion Into Chaos

Each individual enters the world in a state of innocence.  As the years pass, confusion can settle in as emotional and relational challenges build.  Dr. Les Carter explains how we each come to a fork in the road during adolescence and early adulthood.  Will you respond to your confusion with a growth mentality or will chaos settle in?


@PantaRhei-wz5zn
1 day ago (edited)
For me, a problem is that the Narc only wants the best outcome in that exact moment + Willingly Blind to understand how all these moments piece together to a pattern over longtime (of negativity, often also for them). They don't wish to understand the long term consequences themselves + Deaf if you try to explain it to them. And thus Chaos ensues....

@yukio_saito
1 day ago
Chaos is their home ground. They get back to their habitat.


@caroleminke6116
12 hours ago
A narc cannot learn because it lacks insight. Period.


@brucefriedman1
1 day ago
Narcissists hold natural innocence in contempt because it conflicts with the confusing unnatural duality of their inner sadness juxtaposed against their outward pretense of happiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJxMECrXGX4

[tellomon]

A lack of knowledge of this curse is the main problem.
Why the Narcissist Was Able to Play You

@manbearpig7950
6 months ago
They don't draw you in with just their looks,they usually have major game going, very practiced and polished.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sr4tZP473s

[tellomon]

How do narcissists react to criticism?

Ooooooooh…they don’t like that. That causes the legions to come out and fight. You’ve gone and “mocked” perfection and the mask says that’s NOT cool! Hahahahaha!
___________________________

Narcissists can't handle criticism in a healthy way. Narcissists, at any cost, don't want to know they have flaws. Criticism triggers the shame in narcissists. When you bombard narcissists with constructive criticism, they will run away, ignore you, or get angry at you because the narcissist feels insulted and humiliated when you criticize them.

When you criticize narcissists, they are like, How dare you point at their flaws? Narcissists will blame you for everything by projecting their flaws onto you. Narcissists lack object relations; they will look at you as if you are a very bad person. Narcissists believe you are going against them when you criticize them. When you criticize narcissists, it hurts their ego.

Narcissists live in their own world of fantasy, where they believe they are perfect individuals. No one should even dare criticize them.
____________________________

In a single word: VICIOUSLY

Narcissists take any and all criticism as a personal insult.

How dare you!

Who the hell do you think you are?

Get ready for triangulation. If the narcissist is a coworker, depending on their position, be prepared to get screwed.

My old boss was an overt narcissist, meaning he was the more vocal, showy, proud type of narcissist.

He caught wind that I'd complained about the ridiculous “staff meetings” he implemented, which cut a half hour of productivity out of everyone's day so he could sit us all down like peons and listen to himself talk, then trash on all of us and hand out public write-ups.

I had my hours cut from 35 to 10 hours per week, I was thrown out of the department, and I was written up for “insubordination”. All because I felt like the “staff meetings” were a waste of time and shared this with an untrustworthy coworker.

Another coworker was likewise written up for complaining, and when she responded that the write-up was bullshit and that narc boss was arrogant and incompetent, she was fired.
_____________________________

Naturally…they get offended. You may be accused of attacking them. They love to use that word…attack. They will turn the criticism back onto you. Don’t tolerate it. Who the felafel are they? They are humans hardwired to use and abuse.

Their criticism of you is them projecting their issues onto you…nothing more. Listen closely to that sh!t because it gives you real insight to what they’re all about…aka reverse honesty. These hypocrites are delusional to think that they’re in a position to judge or criticize other humans because they have no humanity in them. Don’t put up with it…kick it to the curb.
_______________________________

No one really likes to be criticised, but people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have an unusually strong reaction. They are likely to become enraged and threatened by any type of negative feedback, even if it is meant to be helpful. They tend to feel as if your criticism is an attempt to destroy them.
______________________________

1. Narcissists react defensively when someone criticizes them.

It's like a punch to their ego. They can't handle it well at all. Instead of taking it in stride as most people might, they see it as a personal attack, no matter how minor the disagreement or criticism is. So what happens when they feel threatened by criticism? Narcissists go into defense mode big time. They get all angry, maybe even throwing some aggression your way. They're putting up a shield to protect their fragile self-esteem.

2. Overt or Passive-Aggressive Rage.

When narcissists receive criticism, they react negatively by showing overt or passive-aggressive rage. Narcissists can't handle that someone is not praising their supposed greatness. This rage they display is called narcissistic rage. When you criticize or contradict them, they feel like their whole world is crumbling because their false sense of self gets shattered. Instead of reflecting on themselves, narcissists unleash their fury on you.

3. Spread Rumors Against You.

One of the ways these self-absorbed individuals deal with criticism is by spreading rumors about the person who dared to criticize them. It's like their defense mechanism kicks in. Instead of dealing with negative feedback maturely, they try to tarnish the reputation of the person who called them out. It's a way for them to deflect attention from their shortcomings and try to make the critic look bad.

4. Deflect.

When narcissists face criticism, they do this sneaky thing called deflecting. Instead of taking responsibility or considering it, it's like a magician's trick. Narcissists divert the attention away from themselves and point the finger at someone else. It's a way for them to protect their fragile egos because they can't handle feeling wrong or imperfect.

5. Contempt.

In the face of criticism, narcissists hold the critic in contempt, meaning they look down on the person criticizing them. By doing this, the narcissist shrugs off the criticism and makes the other person seem less credible. It's like they're saying, "Who cares what you think? You're not worth listening to anyway."

By belittling the critic, the narcissist feels better about themselves and doesn't have to face the fact that they might need to change or improve. It's like putting on a shield to block out anything that could dent their grand self-image.


On a personal note, when I was with Sherry years ago, when we were travelling, she was driving, she gets distracted easily. Numerous times we couldda died. I say 'Hey, watch the road'.

And her response, everytime was "STFU!"

Really mature.

F*cking wench. NO respect for anything on many levels.
She is a walking, driving disaster.
And she wonders why I don't like her.

https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-react-to-criticism

[tellomon]

Why would a narcissist want to abuse you if they don't want you?

Narcissists must abuse you.

They're unable to distinguish between self and not self. They have to absorb you into them until you become a part of them, you become involved in a difficult or unpleasant situation from which it is hard to escape because that is the only way that they can see you, understand you, and connect to you.

They can't connect to you as a separate individual. They have to connect to you as an easily influenced, suggestible, susceptible, shapeable, and impressionable part of themselves, which is why they will make you a part of them because they can't leave their fantasy and come out into the real world to meet you.

They have to drag you into the fantasy with them, which can become a big problem for you because they hate themselves. They have this self-critical voice inside their head, which is causing them to do all of these things to you because it's telling them they're a liar. It's telling them they're talking nonsense. It's saying they're useless, and it's their inner critic.

It's this voice of their parent or some other adult from their childhood, and they don't know how to deal with it or shut it off. So they have to pull you into it. And while they're hearing this voice inside their heads, they begin to hate themselves. But then you're a part of them, and they've got this other voice in their head that is saying they're perfect while this other voice is saying they're bad.

So they're fighting this self-critical voice inside their heads, and they're telling themselves they're perfect, which is why they then display a wild, deranged excitement and energy and they're frantic, intense, irritable, and aggressive because of this internal voice.

To where they then label you as the bad object even though you may not have done anything wrong because they're not going to subject themselves to ill treatment, so they have to see themselves as perfect and as god, which means that you have to become the sacrifice in reverence, admiration, or fear of them because they're so wonderful and amazing.

So now they must abuse you because if it's not you, then it's them, and it can't be them because they don't want to be subject to ill treatment. So as a result of these voices in their heads that are giving them conflicting messages, they have to abuse people.

And it's not just that they're arrogant or entitled because if they really believe that they were that wonderful, then they wouldn't need to abuse you. They would just continue with whatever they're doing because they're wonderful. But they need to abuse you because they're experiencing extreme fear, self-hatred, anxiety, and depression.

https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narcissist-want-to-abuse-you-if-they-dont-want-you

[tellomon]

This is something you have to accept and be ok with it when moving on from being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

Don’t try and get people to see you’re not what the narcissist is saying you are; just ride the wave and let God fight your battle for you and you will be much better off and eventually people will start to see through the narcissist’s lies and if they don’t, oh, well … you know who you are as a person and don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just keep moving forward and focus on your healing and growth and don’t look back.

[tellomon]

I absolutely don’t care what people think about me spreading the word of narcissistic abuse.

I wish we could start with middle school and teach toxic versus healthy relationships. It’s a pandemic because psychological abuse falls solely on the survivors and abusers are getting away with the most heinous acts across the world.

Knowledge is the start for someone out there trying to make sense of their trauma and pain.

Keep learning survivors.

[tellomon]

.

[tellomon]

.

[tellomon]

Can we please spread the word?

Stop future generations from booking up with these superficial souls. They mirror your likes and dislikes just to get you in bed then they slowly use power to control you by shaming your likes and dislikes.

It’s all a game to them as they have no desire to be there for you in the long term. It’s painful more if you have children with them. They make the worst parents thinking of double dating after not knowing the pain they caused a child so they double date as if that makes sense in any healthy family. Especially because you haven’t divorced your wife.

These people act like monsters but look like everyone else.

[tellomon]

How does a narcissist tend to react to being exposed?

They crack on and tell everyone you're a psycho. Because it's never their fault and they are obviously the victim. They go on a tirade of abuse and absolute dickery, because they have to show you how you're the crazy one.

Honestly, it's not worth the hassle. The people who love you know the truth, that's what matters.
___________________________

I exposed mine and, in all seriousness, he didn’t give two shites. Deny, deny, deny. They have this uncanny ability to make you look like the villain and they are the victim.

They don’t care. They will wiggle their way out of it like they do everything else.
_________________________

There are many options that the narcissist may choose, once they have been exposed.

They may run and hide, never to be seen again, hiding their head in the sand until it has all blown over. Most are cowards who cannot stand the confrontation, unless they are surrounded by their flying monkeys.

They will sometimes retaliate with harsh words, spewing verbal abuse upon you in the hope that they will push you back into your shell - confused, dejected, isolated and stripped of any confidence. They have controlled you once, they will try to do it again.

Deny and continue to lie. This is one of the best reactions, as by now you will have seen through all their garbage. You will look at them amazed by the rubbish still spilling out of them. While narcissists are manipulative, cunning, sly and sneaky, they are also for the most part, pretty dumb, and you will realise that nothing they say ever adds up. The stories they tell are absolutely ludicrous, now you have taken off your rose-coloured glasses.

They may become violent, even if they have never been before. They feel cornered and trapped by the truth.

They may accelerate the smearing and quickly, to prove to everyone that you are a lunatic.

If they are confronted with someone who knows the whole truth, they may stand there silently - like a statue, staring blankly as if you had just told them the world was ending. There is no discussion, no conversation, no apology or no disagreement - nothing.

They may use anything in their arsenal of knowledge of you, to impact you in some way - loss of job, children, career, friendships, family… anything they can do to make you pay for knowing the truth about them.

Know that a narcissist (especially a covert), will never accept responsibility or take accountability for what they have done.

They will never apologise for the pain they have put you through (at least not sincerely).

They will always try to blame you for their indiscretions.

They will always portray themselves as the victim.

They will deny, even when you are showing them documented proof of their indiscretions.

They will never allow you to look like the better person in this situation.

They will never try to right their wrongs, and if they say they will it will always be just lip-service.

They will never have a conscience.

They will never feel remorse over their wrongs or the way they have affected you.

The only good to come out of exposing them, is knowing that they will then avoid you like the plague! No contact has ever been so easy! It is also such a nice feeling knowing that they know that you know!

https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-tend-to-react-to-being-exposed

Could a narcissist feel shame after you have exposed them?

Yes, but it will be hard to detect, all you are going to see is anger and rage, and somebody coming at you. Enjoy.
______________________________

If they are if they are truly a narcissist, any shame that they feel will be in connection with how they are seen in the public eye. It will not be the least bit related to any wrong that they did to another. They will be solely concerned about their reputation and how this will affect their ability to harness narcissistic supply.

Because they lack  the ability to feel empathy, they lack the ability to appreciate the hurtfulness of their actions. Thus, they will not feel shame for anything that they have done; rather, it is a concern with appearances, and any repercussions affecting them from their own actions.
_____________________________

No. Anything that would normally trigger shame will only trigger anger and retaliation. A narc already has mountains of shame that they have buried and justified away, creating a pathological mindset that they must never allow themselves to feel shame or remorse. If they appear remorseful it is an act to keep you coming back. They don't do sorry. Besides, its always someone else's fault, so why should they feel sorry?
_____________________________

Yes! However unfortunate, the narcissist doesn’t take responsibility for how they treat themselves or others.

The truth is inherently worthy of speaking, even if narcissists do not think so. They consider their feelings to be equal to the truth. If they feel sad, their truth is, you hurt them. If they feel ugly, someone’s doing it to them, and they have a right to do whatever they please to the person.

A narcissist can momentarily feel bad, but then the narcissistic style kicks in, including blaming you for how they, the narcissist chooses to treat themselves when the truth comes out.

They don’t see the truth as different from using falsehood to attack, shame and destroy someones self worth.

They want us to feel responsible if they choose to hate themselves when the truth comes out, and also fearful of what they may do to us, and also want us to understand exposing the truth will not help them. They want us to take responsibility for their emotions, and never mind how their choice to behave harmfully is what’s being exposed. And they want us to feel fearful of what they may do to us.

I hope no one chooses to lie in order to protect a narcissists feelings. It can be dangerous to have a disordered individual after you, so consider that.

However;

The truth is important, its narcissists that should learn instead to use the truth and the bad feelings that they’ve earned to make better choices.

I wish that “the truth” about me was exposed, and the “truth” about predatory narcs is consistently exposed.

God forbid I stop speaking, hearing or seeing the truth because it will cause a narc to abuse themselves or become nastier. That threat that puts all the responsibility on the victims of the narcissist.

So yes, take note that the narcissist can feel bad, but they will blame you, you will be held responsible, and they do not acknowledge the difference between their feelings and solid objective truth.

They will see you as playing the same “game” as them, even if you expose only the truth. They see reality as something that is naturally warped in service to ego. So, it won’t matter that you’re simply exposing them for lying or manipulating. They will see you as using the “truth” to “manipulate” others against them.

They may even be more furious at you because the truth is on your side. And so now you think “you’re so special”. They will not acknowledge that they choose to think this way. Instead they will believe everyone thinks this way, and that its other peoples fault.

They choose to believe others are making them feel and think certain things. And they also refuse to see that people can choose, and that others choose differently.

If a narcissist chooses to devalue themselves they will blame you. And you will become the focus of their rage.
Focusing their rage on you will prevent them from feeling the shame that they deserve. So its temporary and staved off when they refocus on how unfair it is.
Reread it and learn.

Narcissists don’t care about reality. They care about their feelings and everything in reality will be warped to satisfy their emotional needs. Where as better people will choose to meet each other on the common ground of reality, the narcissist insists their feelings are the same as “reality” and as worthy as “truth”, that if something doesn’t serve to make them feel good, its as worthless as an ugly lie.

https://www.quora.com/Could-a-narcissist-feel-shame-after-you-have-exposed-them

[tellomon]

What actually causes a narcissist to feel so shameful?

                                                       

Being called out by someone who knows the truth on their BS. They tend to exaggerate other’s perceived faults and minimize their own. They don’t ever apologize unless they are sucking up, they discard anyone in their lives who doesn’t serve a purpose to them, not caring how it will affect others.

If cornered or caught in a lie they will deflect, deflect, deflect. They tend to be shallow insecure people who need constant outside approval . They do not want you to know them because then you would see them for what they are. Status is everything.
______________________________

It depends on that person’s life experiences and the type of abuse they experienced, verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, etc. So what ever made them feel weak, ignorant, defective, bad, undervalued or unloved etc. can result in different causes of shame for different people.

The narcissist tries to resolve his/her shame by learning how to become the dominant and abusive one whereas a codependent partner tries to resolve their own shame by convincing a narcissist, who is driven to devalue them, that they are lovable and deserving of not being devalued.

It is irrational to try to convince someone who enjoys devaluing others that you are someone who deserves to not be devalued. And it is equally irrational to try to dominate others with abuse and devaluation to prove some imagined superiority.

We are all equals, no one is innately superior just different skill sets and different values.
___________________________

A narcissist feels shame a lot. They fear that this will be exposed about them and they hate to feel this.

They are not able to deal with their feeling of shame and they project this onto other people. They actually try to shame other people and they know how bad this person feels because they feel it too.

They tell their partners, children and friends that they are not good enough. This is actually how they really feel about themselves. They feel shame when they are at risk of being exposed because then this is now out in the open. The facade they created is not real and the true person behind the mask is revealed .

This can be devastating for them as they try very hard to show the false self they created to other people. They feel shame because they did not feel they were accepted, loved and connected to their parent/caregiver when they were young.

They knew that this was conditional love and acceptance and they were not accepted just as they are. They had to earn this by people pleasing and playing the mind games. They hurt deeply because of this and loath themselves.

They feel shame a lot and they fear being in touch with this and they fear their true identity and behaviours being exposed. They have no problem doing this to other people and they enjoy this especially in a public place, on social media and in workplace settings.

https://www.quora.com/What-actually-causes-a-narcissist-to-feel-so-shameful

[tellomon]

When is
“Slap A Narcissist”
Day?

If I weren’t trying to strictly adhere to my faith, I would advocate for every day.

*********************

I'm not sure, too many holidays. Personally I prefer “beat a narcissist unconscious with a baseball bat” day.

*********************

Today…..and I'm setting it off!

[tellomon]

How do I appeal to a narcissist?

Stop talking. Let them go off on their tangent and just look at them with absolutely no expression. Give them absolutely no feedback. Silence speaks volumes. Stop talking. They are never going to listen to you anyway.

No need to waste your breath, they are all deaf anyway when they are in that moment.

Then get out and leave, this is no way to live. You deserve better.
___________________________

Don’t.

Don’t even bother.
Narcissists have no shame and no limits, so you are not in a game with an equal opponent. They’ll stoop down to levels no normal person could even fathom. Trying to play them is just further involving yourself with them and risking them becoming extremely vindictive towards you. Just get away from them, they are very sick people.
_________________________

I literally made a “pfft.. Ha! “sound as soon as I read this. Yea, good luck with making a narcissist hear you.

It's possible but you almost have to traumatize them in order for them listen.

Example: (that WON'T work)

“Stop, you're hurting my feelings! “

Example: (that WILL work)

“I'm not dealing with your bullshit temper tantrum.. Bye! “(and leave) *they fear rejection & abandonment, so this will work.*

The problem is that once they see you're not a “functioning appliance”anymore, they will continue devaluation (possibly include violence) & then ultimately discard you once their new primary source is embedded anyway.

So you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. So just leave & let them go waste someone else's life. You though, you go be happy.
__________________________

A narcissist will only listen to what they want to hear. If what your saying isn’t what they want to hear, it is tuned out almost immediately.

They create their own version of truth in their mind, and they aren’t about to let anyone destroy that. That would potentially make them wrong, and they can’t be wrong.

So a narcissist will only hear you when you telling them EXACTLY what they want to hear.

Stop talking to them, silence is the only thing they can hear, but even that will take a while to sink in.
___________________________

Think about it.

Why would someone like to argue and deny facts? They want to show you they are better than you. Narcissists have really low self-esteem, even though they overcompensate by displaying abundant confidence. Interactions with others is a game…always.

Where we interact for a variety of reasons, ie gain a mutual understanding, resolve a conflict, build compatibility, narcissists simply want to win at all cost. Winning is their way of propping themselves up and tearing you down. They could say the sky is purple and you could take them by the hand outside and point up and ask them what color they see.

A response might be, “well it was purple a minute ago,” or “that looks purple to me.” With argument they get attention, and any attention will do. Think of it as two lawyers debating in a trial. One lawyer researched the evidence, planned her case, strategized, and articulated the most wonderfully rationalized reasoning for guilt, while the other lawyer made their argument based on emotion and grounded in fantasy after having done a line of cocaine.

You cant win. And if you get angry, upset or even frustrated, she wins the argument, feels good about beating you, and feels better because you lost your mind.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-appeal-to-a-narcissist

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

You really need to experience time with a narcissist to really understand the full emotional impact and chaos these type of relationships can effect your emotional health and well being.

What is the Intent of the Narcissist?

@fifilafleur5555
6 months ago
The world is absolutely FULL of these monsters.


@user-qh4qk7kv4u
6 months ago
They really needed to teach this in school… thousands of dollars to a college, with a useless degree. This would've saved me thousands of dollars and years of my time when I was young.


@smustipher
6 months ago
The intent of the narc:  wasting your time with their games, getting off on a false sense of power ("He he, I Tricked Them") and being used by the Devil.  It's all foolishness and must be avoided at all cost.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn_Vzh0w3qE