Tales From The Narc Side

[tellomon]

      Page 27

This is why knowing your worth and staying
connected with yourself is sooo important!

Narcissists Try To Turn You Against Yourself

In this clip, The Little Shaman talks about how pathologically narcissistic people attempt to turn you against yourself and your own best interests.



@billyb4790
2 months ago
Yea they destroy the relationship then expect you to repair it.


@violettetouloumjian2103
1 month ago
It’s a masterpiece, short and clear, these kind of personalities they drain your life energy, they damage and destroy lives but they believe it’s normal. They are the best people walking on the planet, they deserve much much more. Thank you so so much, I am so grateful for your humanitarian job.


@ShawnKHowerton
1 year ago
It’s horrific. Then you have the discard. It leaves you not wanting to be here anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtnVSMXHLSo

[tellomon]

Narcissists are a horrible nightmare. They're always angry because they hate themselves and need to blame others.
What a Narcissist's Anger Really Means & Reveals

@etaokha4164
3 months ago (edited)
I saw them for who they are. Actions spoke louder than words. Narcissist will forever be angry at the world even in death. Nothing can satisfy them.

@carparthero
3 months ago
When you call out a narcissist, remember that the more angry they get, the more they know (and that's your cue) that you're right. The narcissist is also telling you that they don’t know how to resolve/manage conflict.

@deanayer3822
3 months ago
The NARC I live with is angry from the minute they get up till they finally go to sleep  - it's the only emotion they have, every other one is somehow converted into anger. Fear is ALWAYS converted into anger and lots of it. Anger is their happiness, when you understand that you understand them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2uttRQx8kc

[tellomon]

They make the mistake of believing that our empathy is our weakness.
5 Ways a Super Empath Destroys a Narcissist

@user-df3eo9qx9p
2 months ago
Narcissists are their own worst enemy. They just don't, and won't get it.  A Super Empath will take a stand for what is right and wrong, what is just and fair, will challenge the narcissist's nonsense and will make them sit up and pay attention. Again, they are like toddlers. What they fail to recognize is that they probably had the best partner, children, sister, brother and true-blue friend they ever had.  Unfortunately, it's their loss.

@paulkocyla1343
2 months ago
What I noticed in narcissists who used me in the past was that they will try to come back to you to reestablish the "friendship".
They will be charming, complimentary etc. until they see another opportunity to take advantage of you.
My solution was pretending I have no time and loosen communication.


@Michael_Arguello
2 months ago
I like these darker videos. What can I say? Suffering narcissists make me happy. We suffered first. Now it’s their turn to understand real suffering. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cGEND9Llhg

[tellomon]

Who the hell do they think they are? is the question.
Why Do Covert Narcissists Have Sh*tty Character?

@lalunar8
5 months ago
Spot on, now I realize that I was with a covert!!! Absolutely no communication was allowed about any issues that hurt me. Anytime I would try to explain what was wrong he would say,,," you lost me"
I would ask him if we could talk about it he would go silent.. I'd try to call him and he would not answer and say he can't speak when he's angry. Meanwhile I was the one disrespected and upset. Unbelievable.

 
@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht
2 months ago
They are the worst gaslighters ever.

@henrytorresvlogs
5 months ago
I took so much disrespect she just got worse and worse.

@Jess-kn8vl
5 months ago
They are good at misleading and confusing you so when you call them out, they can respond with "I never said that."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTQK-eb4jwI

[tellomon]

Sleeping With the Enemy aka Narcissist (Narcissists Creepy Sleep Behaviors)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUD_kyuQA5k

What Never to Do with a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9einaiLWUqo

Only A Super Empath Can Destroy The Narcissist, Here’s How
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEMAz0IA7DA&t=90s

What Happens When You Ignore or Abandon the Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPrxvXiBkDA

The Narcissist Is NOT REAL [RAW]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5C3fozmlAI

Why Narcissists Don’t Have Any “Real” Friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTHKCLNKVh0

Proof a Narcissist Doesn't Have Any Friends at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op5PuVHIZQw&t=113s

[tellomon]

Narcissist Cars sliding on Maple Lane after recent snowfall in Big Bear, CA

"This never gets old. Welcome to my neighbourhood".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jcLEkjeCy4

[tellomon]

@ronaldculley - 3 months ago
I'm hangin' Tuff, standing my ground. I am crippled but I'm not broken. Vids like this keep me centered.
3 Painful Things Every Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Says

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E4Rx89ZunI

[tellomon]

To a narcissist it's all about image.
They are the great pretenders.
Only Narcissists are Driven By These Things

@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
When narcissists are outlawed, Government would shut down.

@Everythingismeaningless344
11 hours ago
Narcissists are like a vampire shark hybrid monster. They must have someone else's energy to suck to survive and they will die if they stop constantly moving. I cannot truly imagine how empty their soul is while simultaneously having a mind that is always in terror of losing something. Truly a depraved way of being.

@klarissam8719
11 hours ago
Narcissists will pretend to help you while seeing you as a burden. They set traps and snares for you, and usually just want to use you for their own personal gain. They'll sabotage your relationships. My narcissist mother and her husband want to interfere with other people's relationships, saying what will and won't happen, when they don't know the hearts or feelings of other people. They love to see you suffer and will partake in it.

@LordDeliverUs
12 hours ago
My narc friend said, "I play dumb real good," which after time, I realized they are just fake, empty, soulless.
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaHGx-YTCu8

[tellomon]

"They make you crazy, then blame you for being crazy."
Easily, The Narcissist's Most Maddening
Gaslighting Tactic

Narcissists take great delight in throwing you off course.  They perpetuate conflict even as they accuse you of being the problem.  Dr. Les Carter clearly identifies the single most exasperating tactic they use, then discusses how to steer clear of their efforts to bring out the worst in you.



@yukio_saito
3 months ago
I walk away from anyone who falsely accuses others of being the problem.


@mariehughey5390
3 months ago
I had trouble identifying gaslighting because it was how I was raised. But once you see and understand, you can’t unsee it.


@visitorcat9153
3 months ago
The narc also knows if you get away from them, and go no contact, you will be able to think more clearly, and recognize their deceitful ways. As long as you maintain contact with them, you stay in a fog-like state of mind.


@alicecoleman5532
3 months ago
Accusations by a narcissist is nothing more than confessions...


@Dosser810
3 months ago
Throwing it back to you, pretending that they don't know what you're talking about, muddying the waters.... classic tactics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwFnRtGfzik

[tellomon]

Not only does the covert narcissist diminish your strengths and successes, they also exaggerate your weaknesses and failures.
Covert Narcissists: The Ultimate Gaslighters

Unlike their grandiose counterparts, covert narcissists are more subdued and subtle in their self-absorbed control. Dr. Les Carter explains that their covert, subtle manner is the perfect cover for gaslighting. He gives multiple illustrations about how they operate in ways to undermine your good plans. But if you are onto their schemes, you can stay out of their games successfully.



@JHixon-bi8ok
1 year ago
Your unhappiness, your self-doubt, your self-blame , your misplaced sense of guilt about the narcissist…..is joy for the narcissist! They enjoy making you miserable.


@judysangregorio2787
3 years ago
Oh yes!!!!  They have NO gratitude...and they EXPECT you do continue to be nice to them!  They are monsters, and the Board of Education should offer courses in how to recognize gaslighting in grade school!


@DavidGiragosian
3 years ago
There is always an air of contempt from the narcissist as they look down their nose at you.


@AnupmaJ
3 years ago
A typical trait of every narcissist, whether they are covert or grandiose type, is that they will invalidate you, your perception and feelings. They make you feel unheard, unseen, unimportant and even immature. It feels like being in a dark deep hole where no one can hear even if you screamed.

It made me feel very lonely and anytime I tried to reach out to others for help, the narcissist at my workplace who had hacked my phone, contacted my acquaintances and sabotaged my connections by spreading lies and negativity.

I never doubted my feelings and perceptions and never stopped believing that I am human enough to be treated with respect and dignity, that my privacy has to be respected and I am not willing to accept abuse from anyone.
Narcissists are dirty, disgusting, inauspicious entities.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_00zxyGxYo

[tellomon]

When you think of a narcissist...think about a SNAKE!
The Biggest Ways the Covert Narcissist
is Dirty & Sneaky

@tranquility9325
4 months ago
Also there are tons of narcissists on dating sites. One huge red flag is when one of those fools asks you if you rent or own your home. They are trying to get a feel for your finances. Block them immediately. I would strongly advise that you don't deal with anyone from a dating site in the first place. The majority of them are married or in serious relationships.


@jenniferegley9083
4 months ago
They will break, rip, tear up your favorite things. Because of jealousy. My fav dresses, jewelry all somehow had sudden rips, 3 stones taken out of jeweled cross... used to have so many compliments on that pendant. Still have it, trying to fix it still. They are just heartless people.


@hermosotino
4 months ago
I was always paranoid leaving my narc alone in my house while i was at work....when i came back home, i noticed things or paperwork displaced!!


@avgonyma1
4 months ago
They go to see their supply, then take pictures without them and post those on FB - trying to give an impression they are travelling alone.


@kanikaterry7201
4 months ago
Sounds like my sneaky neighbor purposely leaving our shared garage door wide open so when my snow blower got stolen with a chain on it she played dumb like she didn't know anything about it like you said criminal minded people hiding their hands


@jingerhaley5886
3 weeks ago
They are never wrong. Make a podcast about that. I’ve had my share of toxic relationships but a covert narcissist is the absolute worst of them all bc even those other toxic people had some form of taking a step back and seeing their own faults and admitting or having empathy about their own wrongdoing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxOzN5uS500

[tellomon]

“You can't force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected.”
When You Go "No Contact" with the Narcissist

@kmduarte2005
1 year ago
Better to be alone than in bad company.
Treat and talk to yourself as you would your dearest friend. Once you begin to love yourself and find your self-worth, you don’t mind being alone because you like the person you’re with.


@jesshearn7234
1 year ago
You will NEVER have anything REAL with a Narcissist. I lived it for 18 years. Always a lie or game being played somewhere. Their behaviors are just UNREAL. Never any resolve or anything that remotely fixes the relationship issues. How can you Trust that?  Once you figure them out, you then know who and what you’re dealing with. It’s a great feeling once you realize that and you can live your life in Peace.  The key with them from what I’ve learned Is Go NO CONTACT and STAY that way. Relationship with a Narcissist is nothing more than a ClusterF**k and a Rollercoaster of Lies, games and BS. May Peace Bless us all who’ve had to Deal with these Toxic Individuals.


@wisemanoncesaid9498
1 year ago
Key words... "You have to trust who you are with"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSam3NtV1g

[tellomon]

@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I'll see your betrayal and raise you by an ABANDONMENT. Narcs are criminals and must be held accountable.

What Betrayal Trauma Does to the Brain
The Impacts of Partner Betrayal Trauma


@ItsMeHello555
11 months ago
The most difficult part for me, is NOT the loss of trust in others, but in MYSELF. You can no longer trust your ability to see people as they really are.. like you can’t trust yourself to make good decisions or judgements, and it pervades everything.


@tutsybassista
7 months ago
Betrayal is basically: The death of your heart....


@heatherjeftha6132
4 months ago
Betrayal trauma, narcissism.  They murder you emotionally.


@bennmom2789
2 weeks ago
Betrayal is the single worst thing anyone can have to go through. It is a feeling you can’t explain unless you’ve felt it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgSNuZlnarc

[tellomon]

From:JH Simon
jhsimon@substack.com
To:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Mon, Sep 16 at 2:19 AM

How Narcissists Teach
You To Self-Deprecate
And Self-Censor

Approaching a narcissist brings with it a strange feeling. A sense of unease and tension. You notice defensiveness rising within you. A call for readiness. A need to perform. To prove yourself. To lock horns — or be subdued and devoured.

There is no letting your hair down when in the presence of a narcissist. Their desire to get the upper hand, and their hunger to extract narcissistic supply, will never cease. From the moment they lay eyes on you, until the second you leave, they are locked on and ravenous.

Those who are uninitiated in the art of narcissism are the easiest prey. Such people maintain civility and politeness, believing that when someone speaks to you, you listen. The uninitiated also adhere to the golden rule — treat others as you would like to be treated. So when they meet a narcissist, they assume that they are speaking with someone interested in a fair and mutually-beneficial exchange. Before long, the narcissist has them subservient like good puppy dogs, and is sucking them dry.

The one who is initiated knows better. They will disengage their energy from the interaction, hence putting an immediate halt to the narcissistic supply. If, however, they refuse to back down, then they must prepare for verbal battle.

They need to muscle their way into the conversation, wrestle with the narcissist’s ideas and judgements, and ultimately ‘win’ the exchange. If you bring forth enough emotional resilience and wit, the narcissist will feel themselves being ‘defeated’. Hooray for you.

But what of those who have known a narcissist for years? Who have been subjected to a constant barrage of attack? What is their fate?

The Glass Ceiling Of Worth

To maintain their sense of superiority over others, a narcissist uses various tactics. They might roll their eyes or use condescending stares. Snicker at your perceived weaknesses. Ask rhetorical questions that put you in a negative light, such as “Why did you do your hair like that?”. If you want to contribute to plans, the narcissist wrestles the final decision from you. They will incessantly compare you unfavourably to others to make you feel small. They might also speak about you in the third person while you are there, casting you as the ‘object of concern’.

Such tactics chip away at your self-image and self-esteem. Eventually, you internalise the resulting shame and develop an identity of inferiority, which puts you at an immediate disadvantage in any interaction with the narcissist.

A narcissist will inflate themselves through story, casting themselves as the hero, painting a picture of a life far superior to yours. They shove their superior points of view down your throat and insist on their superior solutions to problems. The narcissist will ensure that you agree with all they say, and cooperate with all they suggest doing. Over and again, you find yourself in a position of inferiority, as shame continues to build.

If you decide to disagree, set boundaries or assert your influence, you will be met with resistance, increased aggression, humiliation or the silent treatment. Needing to fight for every inch in your relationship eventually grows exhausting. The constant battle no longer feels worth it. You fall into line.

With your self-perception corrupted through and through, your behaviours start to shift. As shame builds, and the narcissist’s unforgiving rigidity dominates your life, you feel the need to defuse the unbearable tension through becoming the comic relief.

By pre-empting and reinforcing your inferiority in every interaction, you find the relationship sails more smoothly. You also notice the narcissist grows more pleased and fond of you when you put yourself down.

So you begin to admit embarrassing information about yourself. You fumble in the narcissist’s presence, and question out loud the ‘correctness’ of what you intend to say.

For their part, the narcissist revels in your self-deprecation, piling on the laughter when you explain how stupid you were to forget the salt when shopping.

As the two of you are cooking, and with the narcissist intently watching your every move, the carrot slips from your hand while chopping it and lands on the floor. “God!” says the narcissist, demanding the knife from you. “Here. I’ll do it.”

When it’s time to put the spices in, your mind goes blank, and you refer to the narcissist’s opinion. They gladly confirm with a self-satisfied smirk.

These unconscious attempts to self-deprecate help reinforce the narcissist’s grandiosity while keeping you in your place, and with that, in the narcissist’s good graces.

To Say Or Not To Say

While self-deprecation helps keep the narcissist happy, you find that certain topics and behaviours do the opposite. Your negative emotions, for example, seem to bother the narcissist. If they ask you what’s wrong, and you admit to feeling sad or angry, they may play it down or huff and tell you to get over it.

If you share a success with the narcissist, they may barely react, or will switch the topic to one of their successes instead, taking the wind out of your sail. These countless ‘micro diversions’ aim to keep the narcissist from feeling their own negative emotions while ensuring your needs never interfere with your capacity to provide narcissistic supply.

As a result, you find it necessary to withhold your ‘negativity’ while also being careful not to outshine the narcissist. Self-censoring the various aspects of your authenticity then becomes second nature, as the narcissist will brush them off at best, or grow frustrated and angry at worst.

And with that, you come to belittle or ignore who you truly are, as your entire world revolves around the narcissist’s grandiose false self and its need for narcissistic supply.

Self-Loving And Self-Revealing Your Way To Healing
Through awareness of this poisonous dynamic and its source, you can alter the field, hence allowing your True Self to breathe and thrive.

First, pay attention to the ways you self-deprecate, and try to catch them before acting them out. Your conscious awareness of them will reduce their power over time. Don’t try to one-up the narcissist, or inflate yourself instead. Simply watch the urge to self-deprecate and remain as centred and mindful as you can.

Second, stop hoping the narcissist will create space for your distress or encourage your growth and success. Find allies elsewhere who will see, mirror and support the expression of your authenticity.

As for the narcissist’s tendency to dominate every interaction and suck you dry, you have two options: Disengage and withdraw all emotional investment, or prepare yourself for battle.

[tellomon]

@ronaldculley
Monday
She won't listen to me. YOU talk to her.

Narcissists are becoming better at hiding -
Here is how you should prepare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCXADdTxP78

[tellomon]

Narcissists are so foul they can’t even stand themselves.
Why The Narcissist Can't
Sit Still?

@sunnyadams5842
1 year ago
What's so weird about The Narcissist and their energy is that they just grind on and on and on and yet they tend to rarely accomplish much of anything except the creation of chaos and pain in everything they touch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLPbIJJRwOM

[tellomon]

The narcissist thinks you're the narcissist when their tactics don't work anymore. Their lack of accountability is insane.
THIS Is What
Trauma Bonding
With A Narcissist Does To A Decent Person

@MT-tx7bu
1 year ago
The most difficult part about this trauma bond is how it slowly tears down your self-esteem.


@marcdautricourt4477
6 months ago
Looking at all of these comments I can't believe we don't talk about this more as a society it is real and it really affects people.


@pavla2055
2 years ago
Narcissists have 'won' when we start asking ourselves what is wrong with us. They are exhausting in every way. Grinding you down is exactly what they do.


@mysticmoon8443
1 year ago
This is more validation in 13 minutes than I’ve gotten in 20 years. 
A narcissist will make you question everything about yourself and life in general.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tPaTyy1zgM

[tellomon]

With a narcissist you are never on the same team. Even during the best of times they're secretly your rival.
4 Traps Angry Narcissists Pull You Into

The pattern of narcissism guarantees problems with anger.  Adding to that, narcissists don't want to take responsibility for their many anger episodes.  Dr. Les Carter explains how that is a dangerous combination since it prompts them to lay psychological traps, pulling you into their inner turmoil.


@secondhorizon
9 months ago
Any/every conversation is a trap waiting to be sprung. You either say the wrong thing; don't say the right thing; or, refuse to absorb your punishment silently ~ like a punching bag for their jabs. Its important to realize that all interactions are basically opportunities for them to top-up their fuel supply with: Stimulating anger-adrenalin / or a / Pacifying adulation-buzz. Avoid "The Fray".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTvin_ruIvQ&t=122s

[tellomon]

What is the saddest truth about being the victim of narcissistic abuse?

I think the saddest truth about being the victim - is that the whole experience really changes your view of the world and humanity. Because pretty much all the narcissistic relationships started with a lot of love and hope, and that’s why you are on such a high you couldn’t see the red flags.

But then when you get dropped, ie devalued and discarded, it’s the biggest disbelief of - how can any person behave this way, especially someone I came to value and love? So in my view, the saddest truth is the feeling of having your hope / ‘innocence’ being shattered by the narcissist.
______________________

The loss of innocence.

People can live a lifetime without ever having the experience of heartbreak, deep sadness, sudden betrayal, lack of empathy, fake love, and trauma associated with an attachment to a narcissist.

If it happens, it changes you forever. Many people try to put a positive spin on the change, saying it causes you to grow and love yourself more. I disagree. I have had a life full of cognitive and emotional growth.

I never had a problem loving who I am, what I have accomplished, and how I treated others throughout my tenure here on planet earth. I didn't want or need to experience falling in love with a narcissist to become a better person. I have instead regressed. It has shaken my view of humanity, and my faith in the same.

I knew there was evil in the world.
I just never knew it could be disguised as love.
______________________________

You lose your self identity. Your very foundation of who you are. The confusion and self doubt is overwhelming and the pain devastates you to your soul. See, most people that get into narcissist relationships are very caring and loving people. A lot of times they have very prestigious positions, are nice looking, have money, are very intelligent….something that the narcissist desires to have or be seen with.

You go into the relationship having no clue that you are being set up by a con artist, a psychotic person which in reality despises you. They only want what you have to offer, not you. So they systematically set out to take what they want and dump the human soul that would have gladly given it to them. Leaving you devastated.

As the narcissist first floods you with attention and unbelievable love bombing they are secretly disarming your defenses. Then once in they are like termites chewing away your very foundation, all your boundaries, self worth, love, compassion, career, social standing, family, money, whatever it is they were attracted to you to begin with.

Secretly destroying every emotion and self respect you had. Then without you even knowing it everything collapses. And like the insects they are they move on to destroy someone else’s foundation.

You have been lied to, taken advantage of, gaslighted, humiliated and feel lower than you ever have in your life. You have been through so much cognitive dissonance you question everything, mostly yourself. You blame yourself at the same time the narcissist is blaming you.

You have no idea who you are or have become. You no longer see the loving, successful person you once were. You are deeply traumatized without even knowing it. It takes time and self discovery to realize that the loving, successful person you once were, is still within you.

The good news is that in reality the only thing that changed within you is you now see evil, you have been through Hell and survived. Now you are on a mission, to not only be with and around non-toxic people, but to love and take care of yourself. You now know who you are: a wonderful, caring, sweet soul. Your spirit grows and flourishes like never before.
_________________________________

Ron Culley
Monday

For me, I have 2 schools of thought.
Truant on the first.
The second one is in violation of the Dress Code. Kitty Camo.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-saddest-truth-about-being-the-victim-of-narcissistic-abuse

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

One thing I've realized about all of them is they never
shut up about themselves.
Everything YOU Need to Know About GRANDIOSE Narcissists

@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Kurt Wadsworth is a G-Narc, aka The Boy With The Golden Butthole. Society deserves better.


@youngblood8540
1 year ago
Nobody gets more upset than a narcissist, who is accused of something they absolutely did.


@yaminiayachitam
1 year ago
Grandiose narcissists are very entertaining to the people who they newly met. It almost feels like unreal, but you see an example, so you think anyone can achieve anything. But when you spend a lot of time with them, you will realize how much they have been using controlling entitled behavior to achieve anything.


@erinward2983
1 year ago
It's scary to wake up and not know what kind of day it will be. In losing your sovereignty, you lose yourself.


@tracyanderson4732
1 year ago
Everything you do in life, from what you wear and how you look to not ever embarrassing your legalistic narcissistic parents, has to make them look good and create the image of the perfect, happy family that has it all together.


@jerseypooh4664
4 months ago
Their rage is horrendous. Like a tidal wave. They come across as great but behind closed doors, wow it’s a different story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rzFnTvB9AU

[tellomon]

That man was having some kind of relationship
with that child. That gay hate talk is trying to cover his real ways.
Dylan Rounds: Portrait of Kurt Wadsworth

2,278 views  Jul 27, 2022
What is known thus far about Kurt Wadsworth and how does he come across as a person in his interviews? Take a listen.


@MoGumboFukUTubeForChngngMyName
2 years ago (edited)
Let me save you the time… absolutely nothing new here. Just a view grab. And trust me, I just did you a great service vetting this for you… try getting through 10 seconds of this.

@cindyredenius9857
2 years ago
We didn't say he was gay! Lol! But Kurt does like dressing up in woman's clothes!

@cosmicdreamer1387
2 years ago
He’s a sovereign citizens  says a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1wtqSzstUI

[tellomon]

KURT WADSWORTH -The rest of the Phone Call | Complete Recording Pt 2 | Dylan Rounds case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDXH65Gsusk

**********************

"Checkout this noise: KW on Doug Hutton's show, aka Um No Thanks Investigations, circa 2022. This Azzhole completely LIED about me. That story never happened, pure fabrication, deflection and NARCISSISM. I met Brek thru mutual acquaintances in Phelan. Strictly business. It is my pleasure to share this clip here, now.

And F*CK KW!. He ripped me off for a pound of Cush."

https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=767496977706426&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkWtk2CRP__MAkpM

https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=1045522266075129&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkaJqWCRQDSS9Mob

https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=770455681058589&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkcQfmCRQGPGdc9K

"The only truth in all of this is the correct pronunciation of my name.
Shameless bastard!"

[tellomon]

Can you win against a narcissist?

Yes. Here’s how:

1. Become Unpredictable and Emotionally Closed Off.

Nothing unsettles a narcissist more than not knowing what you’re thinking. They try to predict your actions by reading your voice, your eyes, and your overall vibe. When they can’t figure out what you’re up to, they panic.

They may try to provoke you with questions or by pushing your buttons to reveal your feelings. If you don’t respond or react, they are baffled and surprised.Unpredictability makes them paranoid and impulsive, leading them to make poor decisions. Let them act out with minimal response from you.

By staying unreadable, you let them expose themselves. They might try new mind games or go silent, but whatever they do will backfire and lead to their downfall.

2. Become Your Best and Most Authentic Self.

A narcissist hates to see you happy and thriving. Your success and confidence make them feel like failures and challenge their inflated sense of self. They want you to stay in darkness and despair because it makes them feel superior. Show them that you are not affected by them and that you don’t need them to be happy. Your indifference hits them hard, as it shows you don't care about them, not even enough to hate them. This is a big blow to their ego.

3. Stop Caring and Become Indifferent.

Narcissists cannot tolerate emotional indifference. Your caring nature is what they exploit to get what they want. When you try to hold them accountable or point out their wrongs, they play the victim. They use guilt and shame to manipulate you, making you abandon your own feelings to cater to their needs. Stop caring for someone who preys on your emotions. It’s crucial to stop this cycle and refuse to give them emotional supply.

One reason you stay in a narcissistic relationship is because you cling to hope: hope that they will change, keep their promises, or that things will get better. Even after the relationship ends, you may still hope they’ll return or that things will improve. But this hope is futile.

To move on and win, you need to accept that they won’t change. The only hope you should focus on is your own healing and recovery. Real winning is understanding that the narcissist was never the person you hoped for, and that the good memories were just insignificant moments. Accept the reality and move forward.
____________________________

You can't win against a narcissist, because they don't care, and you do –

it's a rigged playing field.

People who try to “win” against the narcissist, usually do so by trying to attain some form of moral high-ground, demonstrating to the narcissist all that is wrong with them, how bad they have been, etc.

Might as well be reading the narcissist a bedtime story, because while you are trying to show them the wrong of their ways, they are just awe-struck by how boring you have become now wishing you leave them for good and don't return.

You only “win” against the narcissist, by reaching that point of equally not-caring, and most people don't have it in them to reach that point. (After all, narcissists are humans too with at least some potential for good, or at least that is what many insist on believing…)

The point where you realize the narcissist's abuse against you, in a way, was your own allowing. Now your boundaries are stronger, and you no longer entertain these human pests, you have seen the light.

No hard feelings, it all served a purpose – you now have a new world, which they shall never partake in!

And, of course, you must withdraw yourself and engage in these things more interesting than them, where you no longer think, obsess, ruminate over them.

Because even if you do “move on” and do other things, if they continue to live in your mind rent-free, you feel their energy, it just shows they are the best, most interesting thing, you still have in your life. And you don't even have them!!

So where does that leave you?

Right where the narcissist wants you.
______________________________

Envy is the lifeblood of the narcissist; they are forever coveting things that they will never deserve. Along with their envy comes tremendous arrogance — the narcissist believes they should be given whatever they want without working for it.

The way to bear the narcissist is to outwork them by a significant amount. Because they lie so much, their achievements appear greater than they are, so merely working the same as them, or a little more will not do.

When you use your rage at their stupidity, ugliness, selfishness to fuel you, you can overpower them with your tremendous output. Your success hurts their little baby feelings, and scalds them terribly inside. It's not your fault they're a loser —

It's theirs.

https://www.quora.com/Can-you-win-against-a-narcissist?no_redirect=1

[tellomon]

What would make a narcissist
  discard you for good?

A narcissist discards you when they are bored with you, when you have seen the real person under their mask, when you stop giving them tons of attention, adulation, compliments. They will discard you when they find a “ better" source of narcissistic fuel; perhaps “ better “, younger, more naive “model” ( as in a model car, not fashion model).
_____________________________

Because it wasn’t real.

That’s the most difficult part to understand and wrap your head around. They say what they think you want to hear to get your hooked. Making plans for the future is just part of the con to get you to buy into their lies, their world and image where this relationship is destiny, you have found your soulmate, you will never experience this kind of love ever again and all the things they say that come with it.

But the truth is it was never for them, they just need you to believe that. They just needed supply and they don’t care about what it does to you. At that moment they said all these things, it’s what they needed. They will probably tell the next person the exact same things.

TBH, I didn’t know about narcissism until after the discard. And I had the same questions, how could someone who claimed to have found his soulmate, one true love, the person he has been waiting for all his life, change so quickly?

When he left me for another woman I asked him why he wouldn’t give this relationship that he thought was destiny a chance. He replied that he is so broken that he doesn’t know anymore, he might have been misguided at the start etc…

But like you, just the fact how quickly the discard happened and how abrupt he could go on to not caring at all and just moving on with another woman is one of the biggest proofs I have if I ever doubt myself. It was never real. He never had any intention to realise any of this plans. They were things that he thought I wanted at the time, to get me committed.
______________________________

Narcissists will abandon you, by discarding you.

Sooner or later, they will give you that nasty old kick in the rear.

And it's usually unexpected, out of the blue, leaving you awe-stricken, confused, in despair.

Narcissists want to get you to the point, where your biggest fear in life, is to be abandoned by them.

That's their goal.

That's why they work so hard to get you to like them.

That's why they try to create various forms of dependency of you on them.

Only then, do they not feel alone.

Cause if they succeed, if they get you to that point you can't make it without them, they can pull your plug.

By abandoning you when you need them most, you have experienced the pain which they once felt, and they faced the pain alone.

Now that you have experienced their pain, they feel less lonely.

For you now know the pain they once knew.

Their world is now a better place.

Yours, less so.

https://www.quora.com/What-would-make-a-narcissist-discard-you-for-good

[tellomon]

Why do narcissists claim to have such high standards and morals?

FOR ONE, BECAUSE THEY’RE FULL OF S*IT.

And for two, because they’re aware that a (portrayed) good reputation benefits them.

Though narcissists are dumb as f*ck when it comes to emotional intelligence and self awareness, they aren’t cognitively impaired a lot of the time.

Some narcissists are quite intelligent.

They mask morality and practice cognitive empathy (not genuine) if and when it suits their best interests.

Like, just imagine.

If a narcissist presented themself as a Mother Teresa, or as a low life degenerate bum who’s sole mission is to ruin your life, which one would you take?

Yeah…. Nuff said….

If any of us had known we were dealing with an emotionally moronic con artist, we’d have told them to suck a dick a long time ago.

And, the narcissist knows this.

So, they masquerade as something else.

Often times, as someone who has morals and high standards.

In order to get unsuspecting individuals to entertain them.

And that’s it. There’s nothing more to it.

I don’t know what more I can add.

The real deal however, is that the narcissist has no morals or standards.

The opposite is true.

They’re the most treacherous and leachorous entities on God’s green Earth.
____________________________

Because they see everything as black and white good or bad. Winners or losers. Why wouldn’t they make such a claim.

Just because they say it doesn’t mean it’s true.
______________________________

Like every dog that unconsciously wags its tail; like every cat who instinctively stalks small fast moving things; like every bat who has never crashed in the dark, and like every dung beetle as it rolls into a ball when threatened, all of the creatures in the animal kingdom behave in the same way as each other which is according to their species.

Narcissists are more like animals in the soulless sense of the word and narcissistic behaviours and characteristics are not only instinctive to themselves but to each other and their basal, inherent behaviours are programmed into their DNA.

It could stand to reason then that if a person totally lacks the basic tenets of humanity like compassion, empathy and love then there could be an argument as to whether they are really the same type of human at all?

In answer to the question. Why do Narcissists claim to have such high standards and morals?

A Narcissist might portray false characteristics such as having high moral values for the benefit of not just you and your attention but other people in your lives who the narc may attempt to influence against you at some point in the future via a smear campaign for example or potentially plans to recruit said people in your lives as flying monkeys towards your harassment.

Your narc will find it much easier to ruin your reputation in the future and to gain trust and respect from Significant players if said narc is perceived as good, honest, trustworthy and ethical. They mirror you.

Narcissists lie at every available opportunity, even unnecessarily just for the thrill of deceiving.

Narcissists have a gas lighting technique called 'STATING THE OPPOSITE OF THE TRUTH', they're demonic like that.

https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-claim-to-have-such-high-standards-and-morals

[tellomon]

                          

[tellomon]

How do narcissists destroy their own relationships?

Narcissists don’t understand or comprehend narcissism. They believe they are victims of their partners when the relationship fails. Hence, the partner is always at fault for RUINING everything. In their mind, they provided you with the best thing you could have ever desired in life - themselves. Their own grandiosity confirms this to be true.

Imagine you, as the narcissist, believe you are the prettiest or funniest or most elegant or most desired or most complete or smartest person. You intrinsically know your partner never has and never will experience someone like you in their entire lives. There is real power, specialness, and confidence in this narcissistic core belief.

So, the narcissist is bestowing themselves upon the flawed partner. The narcissist is the ‘answer’ to the partner’s prayers. They ‘lowered’ themselves much like a benevolent teacher putting up with a less informed student or royalty mixing with their subjects.

The narcissist is ‘accepting’ the partner because the partner has certain assets - attention, love, money, a home, status, influence, and social connections. In the narcissist’s mind, they are exhibiting a form of goodwill to allow the partner into their orbit.

The narcissist believes this is a fair deal. Any concern from the partner that the narcissist is taking advantage of the relationship is a complete insult. Often, a narcissist will be rageful at the idea of being perceived as a user or an opportunist. To them, their partner is gaining as much as the narcissist in this relationship.

You can see the lack of object constancy makes it impossible for the narcissist to have any empathy for anyone but for themselves. They cannot perceive anyone, much less their own partner, would expect them to care more for their partner than themselves.

Hence, it’s not wrong or unfair for a narcissist to discard a partner for not living up to their idealistic expectations.

If the partner gets sick, unemployed, older, or loses status, it's grounds for moving on without a shred of guilt or shame. This is why narcissists don’t attach to or love their partners. They are mentally incapable of connection to any person or object. Instead, you are only a source of supply (a benefit to their life - until one day, you are not).
_______________________________

They bring their abuse too far where, particularly the scapegoat says NO MORE! and leaves for good. I know this from personal experience.

My father was her first scapegoat and after years of her lies, projection and stupidness he ended up taking over one room in the house where he spent the majority of his free time.

When he died and I became the scapegoat, I was constantly lied about to my siblings, so they turned on me. She accessed me of being an international drug mule (I never did drugs or moved drugs anywhere) but she decided that was what I was doing . It's so rediculous it shows how crazy she was. Then I asked her for help when I was having a serious mental breakdown and she said she would help me and within 24 hours, she had stabbed me in the back and set the flying monkeys on me. With a vengeance. That was the time I walked away for good.

She obviously expected me to come back, but I didn't. Two years later I got a message from my younger brother and chief flying monkey, he was relegated to scapegoat and realised how disgusting she really was and although I don't know the outcome he came crying to me about her treatment and lies about him, but I wasn't interested after how he abused me emotionally also.

Anyone can be a target of the Narc as they will use and abuse anyone who gets close to them, often covertly so the person doesn't even realise the abuse.

So they consistently sabotage themselves in relationships and then wonder why family/friends remove themselves permanently.
_____________________________

Let me explain to you in steps:

Each human being has a choice - be bad or be good. The more you harm other humans, the worse you will become.

The dark spiritual world will take that as an opening to start feeding you information.
Slowly you will become a narcissist.

A narcissist is known to live a miserable life despite the perfect facade they imagine.
How many victims are destroyed and/or damaged throughout the life of a narcissist?

I hope you now understand this better.
___________________________

By being despicable human beings.
 By being crap partners.

By trying to be in control of everything and lying about everything.

By accusing their partner of doing to them what they are doing you.

By getting bored, then sleeping with everything that walks. By walking around as if they are better than everybody else.
____________________________

Narcissists don’t do relationships.

You are assuming that they actually are able to connect and care about someone else. They can fake it, but they don’t feel it.

When the fake relationship is over, the victim, target or Supply believes they actually had a real bond or something meaningful. I am sorry to report that this is nothing but the result of having believed in a lie, and the trauma bond is the actual bond here. While the victim’s feelings may be genuine, they felt love for an empty soul that didn’t even exist.

It’s a joke. That’s how you have to look at it. Yes, it’s terrible when you look back at all the time wasted, finances, the trauma, but these people are a joke. They have no depth, nothing of value to offer anyone. Really. NOTHING at all. Except for a lot of pain and suffering.

What they destroy is themselves. They are worthless.

Case closed. 

https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-destroy-their-own-relationships

[tellomon]

What will enrage a narcissist
beyond all else?

Repeatedly playing a song over and over again, where at first they like it, then overtime they get annoyed by it. Then overtime they never want to hear it ever again.

And overtime, they get so annoyed they will yell at you for playing it. And after a time, they will grab your device and break it.

And they will get so mad, they will beat the sh!t out of you.

Narcissist hate repetitive things when they are not in control of them.
___________________________

Tell them they’re wrong about something (doesn’t matter what) and provide proof of how and why they’re wrong. Do it in front of other people, especially in front of someone he/she wants to impress.

Then run like hell.
____________________________

Doing everything they say NOT to do and acting like you don’t care about what they need or want.

Acting confident.
Acting like you don’t need them.
Acting like they’re so insignificant you can ignore them and be happy without them if you’re not even thinking about them.

My favorite meme is “I’m competitive. Ignore me and I’ll show you I can do it better.”

THAT. And the thing that will annoy them most of ALL is that you stop acting that way and you mean it.

Success really is the best revenge.
_______________________________

They are in a constant state of “getting what's coming to them”. They are paranoid, lonely, angry, sad, pathetic creatures that cannot have healthy relationships with anyone.
 
Trust me.... they suffer.
Let them.

Remove the supply and the beast dies.

https://www.quora.com/What-will-enrage-a-narcissist-beyond-all-else

[tellomon]

          

[tellomon]

LOOK ... That's just freakin' NUTS!

[tellomon]

Confront a narcissist about what they did wrong
and watch them make it about you.
The Cruelest Form of
Gaslighting

@PoodlesMcNoodles
1 year ago
Yes! “No one will believe you” is totally reinforced by the “Justice” system when you report your abuse and the judge finds the narcissist not guilty. Mind F*ck for sure!

@LTZ_Z71
1 year ago
The cruelest form of gaslighting to me is being told "I love you" yet their actions NEVER match the words.

@holistichoneybee87
5 months ago
The worst is when you start to feel like you are the narcissist.

@karenspafard8841
1 year ago
I think the gaslighting phrase, "Nobody cares" is even more cruel.

@delicate.mascara
1 year ago
"He/she has always been nice to me" is, in a nutshell, why so many abuse victims never come forward.

@alicefreist318
5 months ago
It's so creepy. They'll even SEE the abuse with their own eyes, and say "but s/he was never like that to me!", right up until the day the narcissist turns on them, too. THEN, all of a sudden, they are so shocked at the narcissist's behavior.

@troymccullagh
5 months ago
When a narcissist tells you and others that you are a narcissist. When someone is abusing and disrespecting you and says that you are the one abusing and disrespecting them!!!

@lucyszoocrew6037
5 months ago
That one makes me crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv2hGHb7rLk

[tellomon]

Adults who bully are the most cowardice people on the planet. Instead of having healthy conversations that value everyone, the malignant narcissist is so insecure they have to get others to focus on you and your vulnerabilities to redirect the attention on to them being superior. It takes a lot of practice to have indifference towards these toxic people. Keep healing survivors.

[tellomon]

Staying in touch with narcissists always comes with a price. You pay the price by losing time, efforts, and energy and losing your physical and mental health. You lose everything by being in touch with narcissists.

If you want to live a peaceful and happy life, then you have to ignore narcissistic mind games. If you remove narcissists out of your life, then it would be much better.

Ignoring narcissists forever is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's your first step towards self-care and self-love. Make sure you keep ignoring narcissistic people in the future. Life becomes easier when you remove toxic people from your life.

[tellomon]

Do narcissists stop being
a narcissist with the new supply?

A ‘proper’ narcissist never stops. Some people will tolerate the narcissist’s behaviour for longer, maybe that’s why they last longer. The long-suffering wife, the mother of his children etc. All that happens with a new supply is the same thing that happened with you. Love bombing and the emotionally crippling devaluation. They don’t ever stop. If they do ‘stop,’ then they aren’t a narcissist.

https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-stop-being-a-narcissist-with-the-new-supply

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

.

[tellomon]

Double Slam: I sue the landlord
for failure to provide heat,
and the Narcissist
goes down.

[tellomon]

Why do narcissists want to destroy you?

Because they want to BE you. You are authentic while they have to pretend and it’s exhausting for them. Every interaction they have is fake. All of their manipulations take planning, and they must pretend to like people they actual hate to pull off their character assassinations of you. A secret a lot of people don’t know is this brings them a great deal of anxiety as they aim to control the perceptions of all of these people all the time.

Meanwhile, there you are. How dare you be so sweet and happy while they are secretly miserable. And your level of talent, OMG that really revs up their envy. I’ll bet you dared to have a really good job as well. And if you’re better looking than they are - well that’s just the ultimate sin. Now you really deserve to be taken down.

If a narc is destroying your life, it’s a compliment. It means the narc feels entitled to your life. If only they had this or that instead of you then THEY would be the BEST. They are the miserable wicked witch, who, if only she could get rid of Snow White, she would be the most beautiful.

That’s what you’re dealing with. It’s a painful ride but if you stick around, you’ll get plenty of practice because their obsession with getting rid of you will never cease. My narc siblings have been relentlessly slandering me for about 5 decades and, ironically, I was estranged. They are so jealous; they slander me in my absence.

Why? Their obsessive mission is to trade places with you in the minds of others by stealing your reputation while pretending to have your authentic traits. I believe the reason they call us crazy is because they know they are insane.
___________________________

They are shameless and have zero decency. Especially with their OWN children.
They have little self control.
They easily blow up like a volcano over the slightest of things.
They envy normal human beings because they know they live at a much lower level than us. Lower level as in possibility of experiencing happiness.

The narcissist is always about self gain. Don’t dare come in the way or you will be easily wiped off planet Earth.

Narcissists love money. They don’t like to divorce but prefer the partner eliminated to get everything themselves.

If you are the scapegoat, watch out. You are a constant threat to the narcissist.
_________________________

I asked myself the very same question. What kind of person would purposely set out to destroy someone's life?

Why or what are they gaining from it?
Why me?

I accept they are evil, cold hatred and all of that. But I still ask myself why. Eventually I had to accept that I will never truly understand why. How can someone be so ruthless with no limits or feelings? As soon as I accepted that I am everything they are not, gave myself some self-love and closed that chapter of my life behind me, that I could grow again.
______________________________

Because they know they are trash people who cannot become anything better, and they carry a lot of hostility and hold grudges for a lifetime; and so, what better way to get back at the world than to destroy an innocent person who loves them?

Think about it, they want to destroy an innocent person, who also loves them.

That trauma bond they give you is the equivalent of what they want to do to themselves, but they are too cowardly.

Instead of destroying themselves, they intend to destroy you.

Trash. I mean, who does that? Only someone who is pure trash.
____________________________

Why? because they are a malignant narcissist. They are like a malignant cancer that thrives on power and control over you. They hate you because you woke the f*ck up. You are the enemy.

They dragged you along like a selfless, broken rag doll…..letting you lick the crumbs off the plate from the meal you made for and served them.

Refusing to do anything with you or for you because it’s all about them and their wants and their needs and it took you awhile to finally notice but yes it worked for them for quite awhile.

You were the only one who needed to fix the one sided abusive relationship. They got off the hook by bullying you, demanding, threatening you, giving ultimatums, putting you down and making you lose your damn mind.

They enjoyed treating you like a criminal and a slave because you are insane, crazy, a loser and nobody likes you. So you deserve to be objectified, punished, abused, ostracized, cheated on and lied to.

There is no empathy for you so if you’re suffering… too bad it’s your own fault…you did this to yourself …because you should have done….XYZ ….but didn’t.

Since you are worthless trash that can’t be manipulated any longer they hate you and want to hurt you. So you either go along with their lies bullshit and abuse or you will be destroyed.

There is no middle ground or compromise. Everything is in extremes. So things are either black or white, good or bad, win or lose, love (idealize) or hate.

This is from someone who is vindictive and cruel and gets away with it because you have empathy and love for them that they take and use to manipulate you. They will try to turn your family, friends and children against you and you won’t even realize wtf is going on until it’s too late and you look and feel crazy.

This type of person is very sick and will not stop even after they destroy you. They want to hurt you and believe you deserve it and someone ought to just put them down. They already did enough so as long as they can get away with it they will not stop and one day it will go too far.
___________________________

Break you?

This answer might terrify you…..

Pathological Narcissists, or narcopaths, have chronically low self esteem as their authentic self, the toxic monster who lies within and we affectionately call Mr Hyde. They engage in a parasitic relationship with their host (their partner) in order to fuel their false selves, the charming Dr Jekyll that everyone admires. They are called emotional vampires for a reason – they are on a mission to suck you dry of your confidence, your self-esteem and your very identity.

Most folks, even the more toxic, would leave you with at least a little gas in the tank that allowed you to get on with the rest of your life post-discard – but not so the narcopath, many of whom will seek to destroy their discarded partner – literally.

Many survivors will testify to the fact that their ex was intent on pushing them over the edge and into suicide – sadly many are not around today to tell the stories of where their narcopath succeeded. (If you know anybody who did indeed commit suicide, you might care to think about the circumstances more analytically).

Why would a Narc push you into Suicide?

There are six principle reasons:

Greed - Because in many cases of married partners, the surviving narc gets to keep all of the assets of the couple in the case of the demise of their spouse.

Need for Sympathy - Because they dine out on the sympathy they are able to generate as part of their own victim narrative after “their tragic loss”.

Fear - Because they are terrified that their ex is going to work out the abuse and spill the beans. With your suicide, they get to silence and bury the potential whistleblower, the victim and witness to the maltreatment inflicted over the months, years and, in many instances, decades of narcissistic abuse.

Pleasure - Because it gives the surviving narc a sadistic sense of pleasure – they secretly revel in their omnipotence as pushing a partner into making the ultimate sacrifice is an unparalleled accolade to their power, to their Machiavellianism, and to their ability to get away with murder - literally.

Control - especially in the case of kids-in-common, they will do all they can to alienate the kids from the healthy parent in order that they can command their loyalty, and obedience, without challenge. Even without kids, your demise and silence allows them to control the narrative of what supposedly happened throughout the relationship and the events of the break-up with their lies going without dispute.

Excuse - Because with their ex out of the way, the way is now clear for them to approach and derive other sources of narcissistic supply – what could have been construed as inappropriate, maybe even with suspicions of an affair coming so close on the heels of your split (and therefore not reflecting well on the narc), is now portrayed as the “comfort” that they so deserve in their “moment of intense tragedy”.
How do they do it?

Quite simply, the narc will break their victims by systematically dismantling anything and everything that their victims will use as their own sources of pride, decency, identity – and support. Look particularly at way the narc will seek to destroy a victim’s relationship with their own family; their friendships; the relationship with their own children; their home; their role as a partner; their career; their hobbies; their sports; their looks; their cars; their health; or other physical embodiments of self.

And last, and in many respects most importantly, their very sense of sanity.

Surviving a narcopath’s mission to break and/or destroy you is no mean feat. I salute you – ring that bell and give yourself an upvote below. If you still feel broken and are looking for inspiration to rebuild and understand, please follow me and flag “Notify me” to receive notifications of new articles. And if you want to send your narc and all the others a big “F*ck You”, kick them where it hurts by sharing this answer widely.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-destroy-you

[tellomon]

You will get to a space where you decide to love yourself again.

This will make the narcissist lose their sh!t. I currently am in a fight for my home and my child. But I don’t care anymore. I finally understand that the narcissist fears me more than I fear him.

Simply because of the TRUTH. He wants to make me suffer for knowing him. But I stand strong and say I am mom and you won’t change this fact. He has no facts on me except to put me down.

Claim your independence and love yourself. The pain gets smaller and more manageable. I think I had to get to this place where I was willing to lose everything outside of my children. And now I know he is going to hurt me because I said it’s not that hard to discuss kids.

I was so scared for so long. Once you beat the fear...it’s easy and you will be so thankful you got out. You will be thinking about all the people who loved you.

Keep healing survivors.

[tellomon]

Do narcissists say hurtful things then get mad if it upsets you?

Yes, narcissists often say hurtful things and then get angry when you show that you're upset. This behavior is a way for them to maintain control and manipulate emotions. Here are some examples from different situations to illustrate how and why they do this:

1. In Romantic Relationships

How: A narcissistic partner might make a hurtful comment about your appearance or achievements, like saying, "You really should try harder at the gym," or "It’s not like your job is that important anyway."

When: This often happens when they feel threatened or insecure, like if you're getting attention from others or achieving success they envy.

Why: By undermining your self-esteem, they keep you dependent on their approval. When you express hurt, they might accuse you of being "too sensitive" or "overreacting," turning the situation around to make you feel guilty.

Example: You get a promotion at work and share the news with your partner. Instead of congratulating you, they say, "It’s not like you're the boss now." If you show that this comment hurt you, they might respond with, "Oh, so now you can't take a joke?"

2. In Friendships

How: A narcissistic friend might make a cutting remark disguised as a joke, such as, "You're still single? I guess some people just aren't meant to find someone."

When: This might happen in a social setting where they want to make themselves look better by putting you down.

Why: They aim to elevate themselves by making you feel inferior. If you react negatively, they get mad and say, "You’re being dramatic, it was just a joke," flipping the situation to make you feel like you're the problem.

Example: You join a group conversation where everyone is discussing their relationships. The narcissistic friend makes a comment about your single status. When you confront them later about how it hurt you, they might lash out with, "Wow, can't you take a joke? You're always so touchy."

3. In the Workplace

How: A narcissistic coworker or boss might say something demeaning in front of others, like, "I guess we can't all be experts at this," after you've made a minor mistake.

When: They often do this to undermine you, especially if they see you as competition or if they're feeling insecure about their own performance.

Why: By making you feel incompetent, they position themselves as superior. If you express that their comment was inappropriate, they might accuse you of not being able to handle criticism, further diminishing your confidence.

Example: During a team meeting, your boss points out a small error you made and says, "We need people who pay more attention to detail." When you later mention that the comment was hurtful, they might respond with, "If you can’t handle feedback, this might not be the right job for you."

4. In Family Dynamics

How: A narcissistic parent might make a hurtful comment like, "I’m not surprised you didn’t get the job; you’ve never been good at interviews."

When: This can happen during a moment when you're already feeling vulnerable or seeking support.

Why: They use these moments to reinforce their dominance and keep you feeling small and dependent. If you show that you're hurt, they might become angry and accuse you of being ungrateful or overly sensitive.

Example: After a job interview, you tell your parent that you didn’t get the position. They respond with, "Well, you never were the confident type." If you express that this was a hurtful thing to say, they might retort, "I’m just being honest; you need to toughen up."

5. In Social Circles

How: A narcissistic acquaintance might make a backhanded compliment like, "You look great today! I almost didn't recognize you," implying that you don't usually look good.

When: This typically happens in group settings where they want to seem witty or superior at your expense.

Why: They seek to boost their own ego by putting others down subtly. If you indicate that their comment was hurtful, they might get defensive and say, "Wow, can't you take a compliment?"

Example: At a party, they make a comment about your appearance in front of others. If you later tell them that their remark was hurtful, they might react with, "I was just joking; you're so sensitive about everything."

Why Narcissists Behave This Way

Control: By making hurtful remarks and then getting angry when you react, narcissists maintain control over the emotional dynamic. It keeps you off-balance and unsure of how to respond.

Projection: They project their own insecurities onto others. When you show that you're hurt, it triggers their own feelings of vulnerability, which they quickly mask with anger or blame-shifting.

Avoiding Responsibility: They deflect responsibility for their behavior by making you feel like you're the one with the problem, ensuring that they remain in the "right."

In summary, narcissists use hurtful comments as a tool to control and manipulate others. When you show that you’re upset, they get mad because it threatens their self-image and exposes their insecurities. Understanding this pattern can help you protect yourself and set healthy boundaries.

https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Do-narcissists-say-hurtful-things-then-get-mad-if-it-upsets-you

[tellomon]

The more we talk about narcissistic abuse the more we “normalize” it as a real abuse that occurs in the relational space. Survivors just don’t get over it. They have to process what happened in the relationship because they were vulnerable and taken advantage of. We must learn to carry it , live with it and make it smaller so we can manage the pain and live a better life. All of this takes time. I don’t know what I would do if I was alone. Survivors you are not crazy and you are not alone. Keep learning.

[tellomon]

When we are happy, they are sad,
and we are sad they are happy.
How the Devil’s Minions aka
Narcissists Try to Break You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXNtZMMt1Pg

[tellomon]

NEWS NARCS

[tellomon]

Will a narcissist admit to their wrong behavior, but try to justify it?

Most importantly, narcissists never admit their wrong doings. If narcissists admit their faults, then they have reasons ready to cover up their faults, or they have hidden motives to show they have a big heart to admit mistakes.

Narcissists will never allow anyone to look at them negatively. For narcissists, being correct is more important than any relationship. Even if narcissists know they have done something wrong, they aren't going to admit it because they feel shame. Another problem is ego; for narcissists, admitting mistakes is surrendering.

If you catch a narcissist making mistakes, then they will blame you, someone else, or circumstances. Narcissists don't learn because they haven't learned to admit their mistakes; they have never learned to fix things. Narcissists only find ways to escape accountability and responsibility.

The truth is, if you catch a narcissist doing wrong, they will make you pay for pointing at them.
___________________________

I think they can reflect. But I don’t think they can admit that they reflect, nor can they change their behavior. You can be crystal clear that you are abusive but not have the capability to stop yourself from doing it.

That’s part of the disorder. It’s like a drug addict. They know they are addicts but they can’t stop the addiction. I believe the same with narcs. They know and can reflect on their behavior but they can’t stop it and they will defend it.
___________________________

Absolutely not.

For a narcissist to be able to reflect at all, they would need to look inward for answers. A narcissist is more like a toddler throwing a tantrum when they do something wrong.

Have you ever seen a toddler look inward?
I think not.

Narcissists are emotionally stunted from a young age. So when they mess up and you hold them accountable, that’s when that 3 year old will emerge, thus you’ll start to see their tantrums.

Now, if a narcissist gives off the idea somehow that they see the error of their ways, don’t believe it. It’s an act. Narcissists are the great pretenders of this world so if they think by playing the role of “Mr./Mrs. I’m sorry for being an anatomical conundrum” will benefit them in some way, they’ll give an Oscar worthy performance that will leave you speechless.

But don’t believe them. As soon as they got you hooked again they will go back to their old abusive ways.
____________________________

From my past experience I don’t think mine ever admitted that he did anything wrong. He was actually arrested and in prison and still blamed it on everyone but himself. It’s always the other persons fault never theirs, they think they are above doing anything wrong.
________________________

I believe a narcissist does not reflect. Therefore, I believe he or she would not either privately or publicly admit fault.

By virtue of his inclination to be a repeat offender, I believe it is clear the narcissist does not process feelings of either regret or contrition upon his emotionally wounding underserving others.

The narcissist sees the world through a narcissistic lens. Consequently, I believe the narcissist is inspired to live in a manner akin to how a tiger shark does..

I Believe The Narcissist Lives Like a Predacious Tiger Shark in Perpetual Pursuit of its Next Feed.
________________________________

They will admit to something if you can back them into a corner. They will try to blame somebody else or circumstances. They will admit to something to shut you up but not really take or feel responsible for it.

Taking the blame is just something they cannot do without the possibility of falling into a pit of self hating. If they admit to being flawed they will fall into being all flawed, they do not go there.

https://npdabusehealing.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-admit-to-the-wrong-behavior-but-try-to-justify-it

[tellomon]

Is it possible that a narcissist confides in you and reveal how sad or unhappy he is?

Yes, narcissists go in depressions and vent about it to sources but it’s only for pity. Also the ‘depression’ can be repaired in seconds with the right attention.

Sadly narcissists are mentally ill, so it’s just more manipulation and the focus is themselves.
_________________________________

No. A narcissist will never confide in you about anything real or genuine. They’re too guarded, mistrustful, and paranoid. They not only don’t trust you, but they don’t even like you. You’re their greatest enemy, so they’d never confide anything to you.
________________________________

That would never happen. It is a total denial of who and what they are. They are perfect, and are never wrong, you know. Also, why should they confide in you, their current victim?
______________________________

Narcissists don’t know they’re narcissists. They believe they are wonderful people being unjustifiably victimized by a cruel world. For that reason, it’s not uncommon for a narcissist to seek advice and guidance for their depression from a professional or someone they value.

When they do, they can really unveil their fears. They can talk about some pretty deep things, like being afraid of criticism, feeling paranoid, having low self-esteem, abusing substances, wanting to be loved and understood, etc.
__________________________________

When they do that they are lying. Any bad thing that’s happened to them is all done by them to others. Narcissists always come over as a victim so that you’ll jump in and help them. They’ll lovebomb you then you are hooked. If you know someone to be a narcissist, walk away and stop asking questions about a person you know to be one!
_____________________________________

You learn fairly soon that they don't tell the truth.
Like, hardly ever.

And what that means is, you never know whether or not to believe them. For the sake of your own sanity you have to assume that they're always lying.

And their b!tch asses will totally freak the f*ck out over you not believing them. The one time that they're actually not lying, and they will hold that sh!t over your head forever.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to say to say he's just trying to guilt you into something if he says anything like that. They can't go deep. They can't really feel anything positive or be authentic in any kind of way.

It's all just a manipulation sh!t show wrapped up in a ball of crazy.

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-that-a-narcissist-confides-in-you-and-reveal-how-sad-or-unhappy-he-is-or-would-that-be-too-risky-for-his-image-or-reputation

[tellomon]

[tellomon]

It seems like more and more folks are labeling their exes as narcissistic. How are the misdiagnoses of NPD contributing to the detriment of others?

1 in 18 people are completely diagnosable for narcissism.

That means if a movie theater has 200 seats, and this is the big opening weekend for a sold out movie showing, 11 dipshits in that theater actually are narcissists.

Let’s say that movie theater has 15 screens.

There are potentially 165 people in the entire building who are diagnosable candidates for legitimate NPD.

Yes, that is an entire movie theater full of them.

Lets think about it a different way:

You live in… Phoenix, Arizona, USA which has about 4.5 million residents including the suburb areas and stuff. There’s a lot of drugs that come through that area, and a lot of people from other places who move there to save money. There’s a lot of people who retire in Arizona because it’s cheap, and there are a lot of child abuse cases along with human trafficking, there’s a lot of military and ex military, too… so they’re above average for their NPD population. Instead of 1 in 18, they’re more like 1 in 15.

Ok, so 4.5 million would mean there’s 300,000 actually diagnosable NPDs in that entire city.

There is enough of them that they would have the population amount to create their own city somewhere else.

300,000 NPDs in just one city.

But the kicker is, if you take the total amount of narcs in all Arizona cities— a count for the actual state (the frequency is higher the further south you go, typically, so Tucson is petty intense), there are more NPDs in the state of Arizona greater than the entire population of Delaware.

But that’s just Arizona. What about the larger cities? New York? Orlando, Houston? — there are more diagnosable NPDs than people who were born in Sweden.

Yes, you read that right. That’s not even excluding the number of NPDs in the Swedish population. Just everyone living in Sweden, there are more NPDs in the US. The US isn’t even the highest prevalent.

Jamaica for example. Their statistics are counted differently, but it’s about one in every household.

Canada? You guys have your share of narcs too, but you’re getting the idea.

Russia? … oh my goodness.

So to answer your question, so many people accuse people of being narcissists because they might actually be right— there’s that many. The cluster B statistics are amazing.

Think of this example:

In every child classroom in the US, the average classroom size is usually 24–30 kids.

Alright.

2 of those kids will have BPD, there’s going to be 1 or maybe 2 kids with NPD, and yes, 1 of your students is a sociopath.

But since most cluster B tends to be the result of abuse… 6 kids in your class have been sexually abused, 8 of those kids have been abused physically, mentally, or psychologically by their own parents.. and this is all going on while you teach them.

I only pointed out 5 of your students will be on the cluster B train, there’s about 4 other students who might be okay and become little narcs themselves next year. Or maybe you’re lucky and the population is lower, you maybe only have 4 cluster b students… it’s only because these students have multiple cluster b disorders, not that you have a healthier class.

so…

Yes, the massive amount of accusations might be accurate. Almost all narcs don’t know they’re narcs. And you hear it everywhere because narcs are everywhere, yep, it’s that high.
____________________________

Because it’s the BEHAVIOR that makes them a narcissist.

You don’t really think that getting stamped NPD by a therapist is the only way a narcissist can exist, do you?

I spent years having to be around a guy who was married to my sister. His behavior was textbook NPD.

He was NOT diagnosed.

How can a person exhibit years worth of these behaviors without the therapist approval?

Because hundreds if not thousands of examples of the BEHAVIORS over the years trumps whatever a therapist, who is getting played by the narcissist, successfully or not, decides to label it after sessions in an environment unlike real life interactions. Here, the narcissist knows he is being looked into. So he does what narcissists do, and tries to “win” the session.

This strategy works fairly often because therapists are human.

Or worse, incompetent.

One told my sister to “stop pushing his buttons” regarding her husband who had choked her out and made her sit in the basement for days.

Eventually, this clown of a husband WAS diagnosed NPD after seeing another therapist for PTSD.

Any idea how that happened?

He observed the f*cking behaviors and thought process.

https://www.quora.com/It-seems-like-more-and-more-folks-are-labeling-their-exes-as-narcissistic-How-are-the-misdiagnoses-of-NPD-contributing-to-the-detriment-of-others

[tellomon]

“Why do narcissists become hostile and accuses you of being argumentative when you try to express your yourself?”

They truly perceive your free expression as an act of war against their sovereignty.

There can only be one source of truth in their world-them.

We are mere props on their stage, meant to enhance them, to adore them, to agree with them, to worship them.

Any show of resistance to their delusional narrative is a threat to their Empire, and they will fight.

What we consider the normal course of conversation, they consider a hostile act. There is no point in trying to reason it out. It will never make sense.
______________________________

He didn’t like anyone expressing themselves, especially if that expression went against what he thought or did. (He didn’t get hostile…at least not in front of anyone except his partner. He was far too careful for that).

He was the all wise, all knowing one.

Everyone else was supposed to sit back, shut up, and enjoy his ride.
________________________________

Narcissists live by a false narrative wherein they view themselves as:

Highly entitled.

Victims, mistreated and misunderstood by others.

Not to blame for anything.

Narcissist suffer from psychological difficulties, such as splitting, which causes them to perceive people, including themselves, as either “all good,” or “all bad,” as opposed to in an integrated way, as having both good and bad qualities.

To protect themselves from seeing themselves in a negative way, narcissists develop an entitled, arrogant personality, a “narcissistic personality,” which is the essence of their disorder.

Because they’re not really highly entitled, nor victims, nor flawless, the world constantly bombards them with evidence to the contrary, which causes them a great deal of cognitive dissonance, which is very unpleasant. To counteract this, narcissists manipulate others to reaffirm their narrative, which is the essence of narcissistic supply.

Narcissists don’t necessarily become hostile and argumentative when you express yourself, but if that expression doesn’t reaffirm their narrative, then they will react negatively, and the reason will not be because you are expressing yourself, but because you are causing them cognitive dissonance.

The only way to get along with a narcissist, and even this will only work with limited success for a time, is to do exactly what they want you to do. This is the result of dealing with someone who views themselves as highly entitled.
____________________________

It's all just manipulative tactics used by a Narcissist to put seeds of doubt into your brain.

Once you start having arguments with a Narcissist, your relationship is basically over.

The second you start disapproving of something the Narcissist said or did- they immediately begin devaluing you.

My ex would do this every time I brought up something that concerned me.

He'd say, “okay, that's it, I'm done.”

Which- is now such a huge red flag of a Narcissist to me.

Narcissists can't handle being called out. AT ALL.

A “normal” man or woman- can talk through problems rationally.

When they care about you, and truly love you- they'll listen to your concerns, and be able to say, “okay hun. Wow, I'm sorry I hurt you. What can we do together so that this won't happen again?”

Narcissist's just threaten to end the relationship immediately because they KNOW you love them.

But they don't love YOU. So if you two WERE going to break up- it's no big deal to them- because they ALREADY are seeing at least 1 other person behind your back.

That's why they can say they'll leave so flagrantly.

Because they have nothing to lose.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-say-you-re-always-arguing-if-you-question-something

[tellomon]

What is so dangerous about a narcissist?

In A Nutshell—Being With A Narcissist, Is Like Hitching Your Wagon To The Devil’s Horse. YOU Are IN For A Wild Ride.

Jump off that Untrained Horse before it's too late—It's better to have a few broken bones, that will heal in time, than staying on this Wild Ride that will NEVER Slow Down—YOU Will End Up DEAD.
______________________________

My answer is going to touch upon a different level of philosophical and moral concerns, not just the common answer that “narcissists destroy your life.” We already know they do.

So to begin with, the narcissistic personality will ruin your life, or come very close to it.

Unfortunately, our planet is a cold and cruel place that seems to reward people according to how they present themselves instead of seeking true value. We know that narcissists or psychopaths are always acting charming and "funny" to begin with. So if you utilise a mask and are a fake narcissistic person, you are able to garner lots of rewards.

There are also people who, for some evil reason, keep running only into such fake and immoral narcissists and psychopaths, and this can literally soul-kill a person, especially empaths. Empaths are said to be quite rare and yet many of them are targets or victims of dangerous narcissists and psychopaths. (I will use the term narcissist throughout this post for brevity’s sake.)

INFJ's are also often targets of narcissists. I am an INFJ/highly sensitive and have had run ins with more than a few narcissists, both male and female. What we mean by highly sensitive or empathic, is that such people have not only a high level of empathy, but they are often uncorrupted to begin with.

These are people who have a natural sense of wonder and may be quite creative. They may be bookworms, artists, musicians, people who love poetry, those who are in love with beauty in a world that is cruel and ugly. They are easy marks for nasty and low-minded narcissists, not because they are weak, but because they are exceptional. Most victims of narcissists are kind, exceptional people.

So I first have to ask how value can thrive or even survive, if we keep rewarding fake, devious narcissists, and the good people of the planet end up in a bad way from being constantly abused? There is only so much a person can take.

Narcissists enjoy corrupting good people, in fact, I have heard a malignant narcissist say this to me once, with a big smile on his face.

And this world really is not a pleasant place. Every day, innocent and beautiful animals are slaughtered among the millions in factory farms. Children are violated and murdered every minute, every hour.

The fact that innocence does not stand a chance in this world is a testament to the fact that narcissists will thrive and achieve their aims, because no one can stop them, and even if we try, our attempts are often unsuccessful. Have you ever tried to warn a new supply, a friend, or family member?

They would rather throw you under a bus than listen to someone who is trying to help. People want so badly to believe in illusions. It’s our own inability to understand that what seems too good to be true, actually is.

Our system itself is also an illusion. Our system is set up in such a way that people on the social hierachy or pyramid cannot rise from their situations. This includes the courts and our systems of justice.

It is intentionally so. They have purposefully allowed narcissism to thrive in our environment so that we cannot fight the graver injustices that occur. I believe that the APA isn't telling us the truth about how many narcissists are actually out there.

In this way, they can keep their business open for prescribing countless medications to treat depression and constant visits for therapy, when in fact, the narcissism epidemic is behind a lot of the pain and anguish in this world. Psychiatry is big business too, and fits right in with everything else in this sick society that utilizes money as both tool and weapon.

It's mostly done on purpose.

Think about it. If you get victimised by a narcissist, lose everything, and cannot get over the trauma, how will you have the energy or will to fight bigger battles?

This is why narcissism is dangerous, not just to the individual victims, but society as a whole. It is a very destructive "virus" of sorts that is spreading. People who were once joyful, full of hope, and happiness, become shadows of themselves after narcissistic abuse. The ability to trust is gone.

The very meaning of life may even shatter. The way narcissists treat people as disposable cheapens our life, and makes it seem like a game. We see the “happy” narcissist run off into the sunset after destroying others mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially, with yet another supply, knowing that the game will never end, as long as people are not educated on this topic. It's very grim, and very depressing, but it is reality.

In sum, this planet is not as nice as some people make it out to be. For many, it is an existence of great suffering. Corruption seems to be the name of the game.

And if the narcissist doesn't corrupt your morality from close enmeshment, then their abuse, cruelty, and discard will absolutely make you a different person. You may become vehemently angry, outraged by the injustice, and unable to comprehend how this person can cause so much devastation, walk away, and not care in the least.

The only way to combat this is by communicating (sharing experiences), exposing (spreading awareness), and supporting others (moral support/spiritual support) who have been through this travesty or abberation of nature, that is, the narcissist. I'm not even sure if they are human to be honest.

I’m not saying this to be rude, I just don’t even know anymore what they actually are. I’ve been among enough of them to know they are driven by jealousy and hatred, which is disturbing enough aside from the intentional abuse.

The fact that they also steal from you, take whatever they can get, and then leave or force you to leave them for your sanity, just makes it even more cruel. Especially if you are ill or not useful to them. Then they just find another supply who will adore the false masked demon and reward them for their bad behaviours. This issue is reaching a crisis point. We need to keep spreading awareness every day.

That is all I have to say for this answer, as there is no other actual answer.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist