Author Topic: Tales From The Narc Side  (Read 26753 times)

tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #750 on: June 18, 2024, 03:36:10 AM »
How do narcissists gaslight?

Here are 4 ways a narcissist will gaslight you:

1. Using social proof against you.

One of the first things the narcissist will do is appeal to the people that you know and trust, get them on their good side by putting on a show, acting kind, sweet, sensitive, and making others believe that they have good intentions and would never be capable of doing any harm. Over time, they start asking your trusted friends and family in a very genuine, very concerned tone if they've noticed anything odd about you. Nothing specific, just planting a seed at first.

As the narcissist's behavior worsens towards you, they start watering those seeds by secretly voicing their concerns to your loved ones, maybe about your memory, your mental state, maybe it's about your bad behavior.

They will try to get anyone you might be inclined to rely on for support, and they will taint their opinion of you while painting themselves in a very good light.

2. Messing with your memory.

The narcissist will deny or scoff at your recollection of events, and this happens constantly. They will add, stretch, delete sections, or rewrite the whole event. The narcissist loves to mess with your memory, so beware if you notice that they are frequently disputing your memory of what happened or trying to convince you of things that you know never happened or at least never happened in the way that they're presenting.

Other examples of ways that they mess with your memory is by hiding things on you and then putting them back in their place after you search for hours, then trying to convince you that they were there all along. It can be leaving things out for you to notice, then removing them and saying they were never there, or accusing you of moving them.

They may accuse you of other things that you know you didn't say or do. So it gets to the point where you feel like you need to start taking photos or recording your conversations or making notes of things that happened.

3. Invalidating your perceptions and interpretations.

The real key to gaslighting is keeping you in a constant state of confusion. So the narcissist is constantly planting seeds of doubt in your mind about how you are perceiving and interpreting things. Wrong about your decisions, no matter how small. They're planting seeds of doubt about even how you feel or what you believe. They are constantly trying to make you feel uncertain or just plain wrong, no matter which way you perceive or interpret something.

They will always have an alternate explanation or ways to add an element of doubt in your mind. The goals of gaslighting are to keep you so focused on your problematic, defective, unreliable mental state that you don't ever see the defective self that they are trying to conceal. Gaslighting starts out very subtly and in ways that mimic normal interactions, but they have sinister intentions.

And that is to slowly change your internal reality, to take control of your ability to think for yourself, to make decisions, to trust your own mind and memories until you get to the point where you have to rely on them to interpret reality for you. And this makes you super easy to control and manipulate.

4. Shame dumping.

And I feel like this is the worst tactic. Although narcissists do not feel guilt, which is feeling bad about something they did, they are deeply tormented by shame, which is feeling bad about who they are. They project and externalize their shame and self-loathing onto you and other people that are closest to them.

And they condition you to carry their shame by making you believe that you are broken, flawed, unfixable, unlovable, and that you are the problem. And they do this by getting you to confide those things you feel shameful about. They get you to share your deepest, darkest secrets, whatever makes you feel insecure, defective, unworthy. And then they subtly amplify and leverage your existing shame while planting extra seeds of shame for insurance, suggesting things you should feel ashamed of or getting you to do things that are incongruent with your values to prove your loyalty to them and then using that against you by installing these additional backup shame buttons for even more insurance and more leverage.
_______________________________________--

If this technique is used then you know exactly how to respond.

You don't..let it go

Gaslighting is denying your reality.

Or say: “I see".

Or look at them and say nothing and shrug your shoulders.

Do not get angry or try and get them to see your point of view because they will use you wanting to work things out against you.

Tell them nothing of what you know is true.

Because they will twist it around and make themselves look like the victim.

They will deny everything of what they said or did.

The last time this happened to me was in an intimate relationship.

After it happened I got my things and told her that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her ever again and I walked out of her life forever.

You must have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior.

Gaslighting is the hallmark of someone who is a high spectrum manipulator.

You should have absolutely nothing to do with a person like this.

If you can get away from this person I think that is the best way to deal with this kind of person.

Unfortunately you are going to run into this in other places where it won't be as easy to leave right away.

Do not respond with any emotion.

Do not get into any conversation with them because they will rope you into an argument and make you look like the bad person.

Stop talking and go do something else.

When you come back do not ever bring it up again.

If you do they will use it against you I can guarantee that..


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #751 on: June 18, 2024, 04:57:58 AM »
:spaninquis:
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #752 on: June 18, 2024, 05:46:21 AM »
In the end what will
become of a narcissist?

Narcissists are incapable of bonding, because they cannot love, their future will be full of betraying others.

Narcissists cannot introspect or self-reflect, they cannot truly grow, truly learn, or truly understand, in a sense, they will always stay the same.

Narcissists lack a conscience, they cannot regret what they have done to others, they remain unrepentant, for those who hold the narcissist accountable, there cannot be reconciliation, which means less and less potential victims as time goes by.

Narcissists must degrade others, they must always find fresh prey, if they cannot find fresh prey, their self-esteem plummets and they will experience mood problems, over time, age, the decline of beauty, or loss of wealth, and most importantly less and less people willing to put up with a relationship of abuse means this is a looming threat.

Narcissists are incapable of healing, because they cannot love, they are stuck with open sores for the rest of their lives.

Narcissists cannot live in truth, as time passes, their minds, already made of lies, grows and grows in lies, becoming a bigger and bigger lump of cancerous lies, they become even more delusional, their ‘explanations’ and justifications for things become even more bizarre with age.

Narcissists cannot truly care, they will ruin everything around them, for some narcissists, the ruin eventually catches up to them, nobody around who likes them anymore (including children), no assets, a dilapidated home, ruined health.

Narcissists have very impaired emotional memories, they manage to ‘live happy lives’ into their old age despite making a lot of people resent them, so you may find some ‘happy’ aged narcissists.

Because narcissists continually suffer from such a heavy load of toxic negative emotions, some narcissists eventually suffer ruined health from the mind-body link.

Narcissists tend to become even more passive aggressive, psychotic, delusional, disingenuous, dishonest, cruel, callous with age, and also even better at gaslighting and getting away with abuse, except for the possibility that there may be no one around left to abuse.

Narcissists have a continual need for self-exaltation because self-exaltation is how they attempt to regulate their malfunctioning and unstably fluctuating self-esteem, if they enter a stage in life where nobody sticks around to allow them to use for self-exaltation, the narcissist will suffer mood dysregulation, including depression, anxiety, etc.

Narcissists can have rotten self-inflicted lives in old age and yet still appear ‘happy’ as testimony to the great power of their disconnection and short-circuitness. They can somehow experience negative emotions continually, suffer ruined health from the toxic emotional load, complain continually, yet declare they are happy and act happy, go figure.

There is no such thing as a merry narcissist. An inalienable aspect of narcissism is ruin-seeking. Narcissist worship ruin. Everything they do to others, everything they do to themselves will ultimately result in ruin.

That’s what ruin worship means. A person who worships ruin will simply ultimately get ruin in their lives.

Everything of a narcissist is eventually ruined. Flee their presence before you share in their ruin.


***************************

What's done in the dark will ALWAYS
be brought into the Light.
How Will It End For
The Narcissist?

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #753 on: June 18, 2024, 06:08:03 AM »
That's what damages narcs the most. All the projections, hatred, self-hatred, and envy originate from their complete inability to acknowledge and connect to The Shadow Self.
Narcissists and
The Shadow Self


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0BOxImcxXs
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #754 on: June 18, 2024, 06:44:29 AM »
@ronaldculley: "They believe they're human waste".
Yeah, I'm convinced of that!

Narcissists Fear Rejection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE42F84elYU
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #755 on: June 18, 2024, 06:51:04 AM »
When trust is broken......there's no turning back.
When You Push Sigma
Empaths Too Far
This Will Happen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7LEu78SG4M
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #756 on: June 18, 2024, 07:30:57 AM »
How do covert narcissists
expose themselves in the end?

Narcissists have a broken brain that goes around in circles, from charm to abuse to charm to abuse. If you buy the charm, you will get the abuse.

This is how the covert narcissist exposes themselves — you buy the charm, and sure enough, like clockwork they will abuse you.

The narcissist goes around and around like this as part of their survival cycle — they generally have to charm people before they abuse them, and they can generally only abuse people who they can charm.

Charm, abuse, charm, abuse, the narcissist runs on rails with their broken brain as the engine. On into the night — charm, abuse, charm, abuse. It is like how day follows night, the out breath follows the in breath, or the seasons follow one another; the narcissist too is an autonomic.

Fall for the charm and the covert narcissist will expose themselves with abuse.
__________________________________

They expose themselves from day one.

When I see their behaviors now I absolutely cringe.

When you actually see a narcissist for who they truly are, and you have worked on yourself where you don't dismiss the obvious, they're easier to spot than the device you're reading this on right now.

With my ex it was the fact I told her she was gaslighting me and she did the exact same thing again right in front of me expecting that I would claim it was my fault (like I always did before).

After that incident I couldn't stop seeing the patterns in behavior in other covert narcissists as they are all the same.

It was like I graduated Narc University and was at the top of my class from now on….
__________________________________

In the end, the narcissist tells on themselves. That’s right, they will confess! Your challenging task is to believe them because the truth will blow your mind.

By the time you get to this point, they are emboldened.

They will unleash mighty projections. Everything they say will be confusing because it’s not about you at all. You don’t exist. You're the false mirror. In you, they’ll see everything they must and everything they can’t. They want to break you and you’ll feel that. How you’ll feel it will depend on their particular sadistic pleasures.

For some, it’s out right verbal or physical brutality. Others, it’s persistent little insults to whatever you hold dearest. A favorite of many, if they have the power to do it, is to put you back where you started. Invalidate every effort and all your work, in personal and/or professional matters. Make you feel like you NEVER existed and often sorry you do.

The point is to be able to make you feel because they can’t. It confirms their belief that being able to do so is a weakness so they don’t have to face the strength in emotions they lack. They will shut yours down, on the way out if that’s what it takes, so that intelligence isn’t useful against them. This is why many victims become hypervigilant with their empathy, or codependence.

The consistent factors are the confession, projection and revenge. But, by the time you see these, you’ve been deeply harmed. I’m sorry for your loss!


***Share, expand upon, do not reproduce***

:tello: "Sorry dude, I publish as an American Outlaw, not as an MSNBS Democrat Hack."

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #757 on: June 18, 2024, 08:00:02 AM »

:tello:

FAFO. All is fair in life with a f*cking NARC WAR !

Ron Tello Culley
I'm not having a bad day. She is, and thought it's OK to unload her sh!t on me...AGAIN!!!!
This is not defamation, doxxing or slander. This is Truth, and I got it all on tape for The Judge, The Jury and The Warden.
Photo is Public Domain, so f*ck you b!tch. LOL


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #758 on: June 18, 2024, 08:16:25 AM »
@ronaldculley
Today, 6/17/24 my narc tested me...and FLUNKED

Narcissists Keep Testing You

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #759 on: June 18, 2024, 08:26:46 AM »
@jenniferfarrell1937
My Mother actually says when you disagree
with me you're disagreeing with God.


Religious Narcissists



Religion has become very divisive...totally misses the point of Jesus and his Teachings of Love and Compassion! Religion is used to control others.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBTwD5Nmyzg
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #760 on: June 18, 2024, 10:00:02 AM »
When we understand narcissism it is too late.
How to Stop Hating
The Narcissist In Your Life
And Move On


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFVng3wj7vI


@ronaldculley
No sympathy for those devils.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #761 on: June 18, 2024, 10:07:24 AM »
:tazdev:
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #762 on: June 18, 2024, 11:20:48 AM »
What are 30 facts in a
narcissistic home?

Part One

1. You would rather be away from home than be there.

2. When you're going home, you feel nervous like something bad might happen.

3. When you're at home, you feel really watchful and on edge.

4. When you're at home, you feel anxious.

5. You always feel like you have to be careful or else something bad will happen.

6. You forget what it's like to have peace and harmony.

7. Everyone who lives in the house has psychological issues, like feeling sad, worried, or even thinking about hurting themselves...

8. People in the house often have strange physical problems, like mysterious rashes or chest pains.

9. People in the house have scary dreams that happen again and again.

10. Sometimes people in the house feel like there are evil spirits there.

11. When guests come over, the narcissistic person behaves really well.

12. Visitors usually think the narcissistic person is great.

13. But if a visitor spends a lot of time at your house, they start to see the real side of the narcissistic person.

14. Nobody in the house matters except the narcissistic person.

15. People plan their day around avoiding the narcissistic person at home, even if they don't realize they're doing it.

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #763 on: June 18, 2024, 11:27:31 AM »
What are 30 facts in a
narcissistic home?

Part Two

16. The narcissistic person only talks about themselves.

17. The narcissistic person only cares about how the people at home can do things for them.

18. The narcissistic person always wants to know where you are and what you're doing.

19. The narcissistic person wants you to do things for them right away, like give them the remote or fix the computer. They don't have patience.

20. The narcissistic person never admits they're wrong.

21. When something goes wrong, the narcissistic person blames other people in the house.

22. The narcissistic person yells a lot.

23. The narcissistic person gets really angry and shows their true self often.

24. The narcissistic person always puts you down, but sometimes acts nice to make up for it. It's really messed up.

25. If there's only one TV, the narcissistic person decides what to watch.

26. The narcissistic person is very selfish and doesn't think about other people's feelings.

27. When there's an important event like a birthday or graduation, they do something to make you feel bad and ruin it.

28. You feel like you don't matter.

29. You learn to accept that you don't matter.

30. If you haven't lost your sanity, you're lucky.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #764 on: June 18, 2024, 11:37:14 AM »
What Are 30 More Facts In A
Narcissistic Home?

Part One

1. Everyone, except the narc, will walk on eggshells every moment of everyday to avoid getting into outburst mode.

2. Every birthday party, holiday or celebration will be ruined either before you leave to go or on the way there because it’s not about them and your putting your attention elsewhere and they can’t have that….so you’ll be screamed at or shamed in someway for paying any attention to someone else’s happiness.

3.They will feed off your pain, embarrassment, tears. You’ll look at them with your eyes begging them to understand and show compassion or empathy just something …but they won’t. You can see it in their eyes…they don’t care and it empowers them. They get this smug superior look but that’s all it is…and it will feel like a dagger in your heart every time.

4.You’ll want them out of the house and away from you but you’ll crave them when they are gone. While they are home you don’t wanna be near them but their presence is the house comforts you in some sick way. You’ll be hiding in your room while they are in another room awake just existing in their toxic aura and your begging them to see you from rooms away while your in pain but they won’t even get up to come acknowledge you they can’t even fathom that your uncomfortable or hurting they never come in to check on you but you’ll wait night after night hoping they see you…but it’s enough that they don’t see you, somehow it’s enough. Then they head to the bathroom, brush their teeth, come to bed and start snoring without even noticing your presence and you sadness… tomorrow will be the same…

5. You will constantly wonder if you’re good enough each day, yesterday you were so you’re happy, today you’re not so you’re sad-over and over and over, day after day after day.

6. Nothing you do will be good enough- the house won’t be clean enough, the kids will be “filthy”(because you were outside playing with them and letting them be kids) heaven forbid etc…

7. You’ll become an addict of something just to escape the pain of feeling so worthless that you can be thrown away at any point. That another human finds you so disposable and unworthy of love at times…but then again loves you with the same intensity moments later. What did I do? What didn’t I do? You’ll go crazy. 100 percent crazy.

8. You won’t have access to money unless you hide it around the house (do it trust me).

9. You’ll feel like your slowly burning from the inside out. You’ll sit at home crying staring at the wall wracking your brain trying to figure out why your feelings are wrong and bad. You’ll try to stifle the feelings but it won’t work because your the normal one and deep down your heart knows it. But you’ll still question if your just over sensitive, bitching too much, nagging. But your not. It won’t stop though.

10. Their family and friends won’t like you they’ll think that you’re worthless and you’ll be the biggest piece of crap in their lives and all their family and friends will tell the narc to get rid of you your burden, a pain in the ass, a mooch, a taker, I mean worthless person, When really all you do is anything and everything to prove you’re good enough because you are good enough but it’s never enough because they convince everyone your the problem. After you’ve quit your job they didn’t like, moved your home they didn’t like, lost yourself trying to be what they wanted, done everything they’ve asked thinking it was for the greater good when it was really to leave you with nothing and to degrade you for having nothing. It gives them power over you.

11. You will feel like a defeated robot sent to this earth to please them, but it’s unobtainable but you keep trying. They have to value something about you…right?

12. You’ll cry yourself to sleep while they snore, you’ll never be offered the bed during an argument, you’ll sleep on the floor or the sofa or with your children. When your sick, you're just annoying and begging for attention. But when they are ill the world better stop for them.

13. As time goes by it gets worse and worse…starts slow…the abuse, maybe a suggestion, then another then a demand then physical abuse, but that stops for a moment, then it’s emotional, financial, until they have complete Control.

14. You’ll feel numb when they come home and look at you with disgust. But you’ll feel a spark of elation and joy when they walk in and smile at you. Makes it all worth it…pathetic....

15. You’ll hide when you hear their car pull up or the garage door open and get knots in your stomach. While fixing your hair and making sure your presentable.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #765 on: June 18, 2024, 12:18:50 PM »
What Are 30 More Facts In A
Narcissistic Home?

Part Two

16. You’ll be blamed, targeted, lied to, manipulated, get told to go get a life, but as soon as you do, you become a wh@re, or a bad mother for having your own hobbies.

17. They will have a chip on their shoulder constantly like they can't be bothered by your presence or questions or basic need for human interaction. Don’t tell them your feelings; It’s annoying. Don’t tell them your needs; It’s annoying. Just shut up and talk about how wonderful they are and how life is butterflies and rainbows because you're a sad piece of sh!t if you show them anything they don’t wanna see.

18. You won’t get off the couch some days because of how depressed and lost you feel, but when you look up at the clock you jump up and try to make the house look how they want it to look or you’ll be questioned about "what did you even do all day?”.

19. Things will go missing and you’ll never know where it went, all the while being called crazy cuz “YOU lost it” or they have no idea and have never even seen that item before.

20. They will make you feel like a stranger in your own home.

21. You’ll get questioned for hours about your whereabouts and who you were with and changing your priorities because your messing everything up if you leave the house without them.

22. You’ll feel like you're living with a two year old and you’ll start to question your sanity and eventually you're a shell of who you were and drown in guilt and shame for something that you're not; even being someone you're not even close to being like.

23. You will go through life wondering if they will come home happy or mad. It will be on your mind from the moment you wake up each day until they get home and show you-- Did I cook the right meal?
Did I clean enough today?
Did I text them too much while they were at work?
Did I not text enough?

Don’t fall asleep because if they come home and you're napping you may be lazy and get the silent treatment.

Don’t act too busy or do too much because “Are you on something?”.

He was grumpy this morning so don’t text him with any problems because “He’s at work!! Can’t you figure these things out on your own? I work for a living!!”

But they can call or text you as much as they want with their needs, desires and petty bullshit.

24. You’ll start to pick up and mimic their traits because you're lost inside. Then you feel sick that you treat them as how they treat you.

25. You’ll beg God to remove them from your life somehow ( car crash, poisoning, police shooting, industrial accident, electrocution, drowning, mugging, parasitic infection... ).

26. You won’t get a full nights sleep.

27. You’ll be responsible for the emotional well being of everyone else in the house and neglect yourself.

28. You’ll be ignored for days or weeks on end as if you're not even there. They won’t look at you or speak to you. Then the next moment all is forgotten and swept under the rug. Until the next time you piss them off by messing up somehow. By not anticipating their needs or putting them before every other person in the house including the children.

29. You’ll lose sight of your hopes and dreams and lose a passion for anything you were good at. You will doubt every move you make and look to them for answers and they won’t provide them…you lose. Everyone in your home loses.

30. Thought of another one-- They will take everything you love or enjoy doing and make a mockery of it. I used to love to paint and journal and he read every single journal entry and took photos of them. They texted me, calling me a psycho for my thoughts. I haven’t been able to write since. I don’t paint or draw anymore. They will take every joy you have and crush it.

BONUS POINTS

31.You’ll never have someone meet you in the middle. No compromising. You do what they want-how they want- when they want. Your needs are not only neglected but continuously insulted.

32. You’ll end up crazy. Lost. Depleted. So confused and helpless. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this, is it?

33. ^^This is right where they want you and as long as you stay, it will be this way.

Forever.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #766 on: June 18, 2024, 12:52:14 PM »
What happens to the one who didn't get away from the narcissist's clutches?

Yes, that’s me!

It’s been almost 20 years. I had no idea what a narcissist was all those years ago. I’d come from a controlling home, I was a pleaser, insecure and down on myself before I even met him. Then he swept me off my feet. I moved to his country and he started being mean to me.

At the beginning I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. It felt as though there was something wrong with me. He didn’t like the way I cleaned, or looked after the babies, or disagreed with him. He’d lose his temper over little things and call me terrible names.

I was alone. I stopped working because I never knew when he would be home and the children needed me. I tried to leave but he kept saying he wouldn’t give me money or he’d take the children from me.

Year after year, I became silent, focusing on the children and on avoiding any conflict. I encouraged him to come to therapy with me, but of course he left after the third session. After all, he blamed me for it all. I became concerned that he had no empathy and didn’t take any responsibility for his behaviour.

Then one day, about a year ago, I snapped and started screaming and crying - he recorded me and threatened to have me sectioned. I was scrolling through instagram one evening when I saw a man talking about narcissistic abuse. I went down the rabbit hole of information, realising that I wasn’t going mad! He was a narcissist.

The kids are getting older now and I’m a mooch.
___________________________________

The ones who don’t get away are a shell of who they were.

They lose themselves. Narcissists cannot let you be you. All their days, they will be trying to change you in every possible way. They will fatigue you until you can barely walk. They will remove all your joy in life and all your motivation. They are basically human leeches. Human parasites. They will suck you dry, then cast you off and go to the next.
__________________________________

If you are unable to get away from a narcissist you must be in a lot of pain emotionally. You no doubt suffer from low self esteem. Your life is always chaotic and no matter how hard you try things do not get better. It’s hard to be happy under this duress. You feel abused in every sense of the word. That is a continuing way of life for those who can’t get out.
_____________________________________

They’ll continue sinking lower and lower and will lose all of their self respect. The narcissist will blame them for all of the problems that happen in the relationship and after time they will believe it.

The narcissist will make them question all of their friendships by lying to them about what others have said about them. They will also do this with family members and their own children. If the narcissist knows something that makes them happy, they will remove it. All of their beliefs will be attacked and questioned. Their self image will sink so low that it will never come back.
____________________________________

A life of Eternal Hell.

Rock bottom at all times. The second anything good happens in their entire life, it will be destroyed shortly after.
Darkness. Pain.
More than likely from in constant fight of flight mode for long periods of time. There will be health issues, physically. Not to mention the awful mental trauma side of things. The health issues due to massive amounts of constant stress will more than likely be cause of death, if not suicide.

Imagine a period of absolute awfulness in your own life. Now imagine that awful time lasting every single day for the rest of your life. It's pretty hard to even imagine that. I'm thinking about what that would feel like or be like to experience myself and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me literally sick in my stomach.

The experience I have was for years but not forever so just thinking about it being lifelong has raised my anxiety and I feel a pit in my chest. But I would imagine it to be like I described, Eternal Hell.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #767 on: June 18, 2024, 01:04:18 PM »
How come narcissists frequently resort to triangulation?

Narcissists have unstable self-esteem. To regulate their self-esteem, narcissists need narcissistic supply, so narcissists use tactics of triangulation to get more narcissistic supply.

Narcissists will try to infuse jealousy and insecurities in partners, exes, friends, relatives, colleagues, coworkers, etc. to show they are in demand. When they infuse jealousy and insecurities among people, which forces people to please narcissists by putting more effort into relationships.

This is the easiest way for narcissists to get attention without making any effort. Narcissists want to show they have lots of options; you can be replaced if you are not willing to put in any effort.

Another way of triangulating is by bringing a third party into the conversation by showing they have support. Whenever you accuse narcissists of being wrong, they will bring a third party into the conversation to show they have been doing right by getting a third party's support.

Narcissists also have the habit of creating imaginary people to get support or to make you feel jealous. If narcissists can't make you jealous and insecure by using real people, then they create imaginary people and make fake stories to show their importance.
Narcissists use the tactics of triangulation to divide and rule over people.
____________________________________

What better way to feed their massive insecurity complex than have people fighting over them? It's not like they have a sense of self or anything to fall back on that has substance. This is the only way for them to get their kicks.



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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #768 on: June 18, 2024, 01:17:13 PM »
How do you drive a narcissist crazy and
flip the script?

Do you have your degree in NPD?

You need that sh!t first.

Then, it is easy to flip the script on the narcissist. However, my next question would be, why the f*ck would you bother?

They are boring, childs’ play and more with a “chucky doll” intent. Or that kid from “Pet Cemetery” the creepy little bu***r that comes back from the dead and “want’s to play”. Either way, I watch a lot of horrors and either way the narcissist is nothing but a f*cking nightmare to be avoided.

“Flipping the script” takes energy, it takes the want to “play” - after a while, once you “see” who they are, they will bore you quickly - what once was a fire in your belly to get those slimy little f*ckers a taste of their own home brew - will become, well, a nothing to you as they simply become a nothing to you..

The best option is to get on with your life and play with other adults who know how to play fair, share their toys.

But, I get it - I went through the period of wanting to inflict some damage, purge my anger - go tit for tat and then I got distracted with getting on with my own life and letting the garbage do what garbage will do all on it’s own… rot.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #769 on: June 18, 2024, 01:47:25 PM »
Does a narcissist ever
know that they are one?

I know what resides on the inside of me.

And you do too.

Now if I start thinking how to harm other human beings, don’t you think that I should be alarmed? I would because that is not who I am.

So whether narcissists have really heard the word narcissism is immaterial. What is very significant is that they know precisely who they are and the type of enjoyment they derive from harming their victims. Including innocent children. And Ron Tello

And sorry of my frame of mind, but anyone abusing innocent children is not even a human being. They are the lowest of the lowest of monsters that can ever live. Not even animals behave in this manner.

Being weak in personality and the fact that they never reflect seems to me that by the time they do understand that the demonic is influencing their behavior, they are so down the hole that they find it difficult to get out.

Sorry, but I personally choose to not show empathy with narcissists. With someone continuously intent on destruction is not someone I want to be associated with in any way.
_________________________________

I got to the stage in my relationship that I told him what I thought he was - hell, I even sent links to this sh!t. I was in the "Tried everything else" stage, lets give this a go.

I tried to talk to him about it and ask his opinion on himself and how he felt inside etc. I was told “I know there is something inside me, we are all not perfect.” And how can you argue with that? He is right after all.

Rarely, does the narcissist think they are a narcissist. The ‘label’ is also given out like crack at the school gates nowadays and is simply over-used and over-inflated. It is a term banded around in modern society for the Dickhe@d we dated or someone who stays too long in front of the bathroom mirror.

The majority of narcissists don’t know they are one. It will be YOU, the partner, who does.

Will they accept or defend? They will defend.
You would too - being called a narcissist has a connotation to it that a lot of people won’t hear and receive as being flattering.

I got to the conclusion that the guy I was with for 8 years was one and even then, the hours I spent in research, as I was desperate to find ‘evidence’ that he wasn’t. I loved him and I wanted it to work. I also wanted to help him.

But, and here is the simple part: Narcissists DO NOT AND WILL NOT SEE THEMSELVES OF HAVING NOR BEING THE PROBLEM, but they will and do ALWAYS SEE YOU AS BEING JUST THAT - THE PROBLEM.

It is a loosing game my friend.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #770 on: June 18, 2024, 01:52:33 PM »
Narcissist always use different images of themselves as masks 🎭🎭🎭 to attract new victims for supply and they have no regards who they use and abuse 💔 in and out of their inner circle. Don’t be fooled by their malicious behavior. Never ignore the first sign of RED FLAGS 🚩 🚩🚩 , because this is what the narcissist is hoping for 👺 !

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #771 on: June 18, 2024, 02:52:43 PM »
How many people answering posts about being the victim of a narcissist are actually the narcissist themselves?
👉😎👈

I believe it’s more common than you think. And it can be very damaging to the real victims trying to make sense of the situation.

Most victims won’t write on this sh!t, nor share their experiences. They are embarrassed, ashamed, confused and in pain.

They are the ones who read in silence and say nothing. Hoping, searching, reading for some form of relief.

The “real” victims are the ones asking the questions here. At least that’s what I did 4 years ago. I didn’t know what the felafel I was experiencing.

If you look at my question count it’s over 200 and all those were in a matter of 3–4 months. I was obsessed, confused and miserable.

I wasn’t getting what I needed from the answers so I started answering the question from MY experiences.

And the moment I did that is when it all began to make sense.

People were relating, and in a big way.

I get DM’s from people thanking me for answers that I have never seen an upvote from, nor do they follow me. And some say they have read my stuff for years.

Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do. I ask myself “is it selfish and self serving I’m a way?” I dunno.

I look at it as I give a voice to those who are to afraid to speak up. I hope my words make them feel not so alone. And eventually gives them the courage to walk away and believe they deserve better. Give them the boost to know they CAN live without this person. It’s nothing more than an addiction, not love.

But yea, narcissist's are every where. I’ve met the devil face to face. And the delusion they live is something that can’t be understood. And some are VERY good at what they do.

Be careful who you speak with on here.

They could end up making a bad situation worst.

Or posted on Tello's Narc Blog.
_______________________________________

I disagree.

To understand narcissists, it's important to recognize that a true narcissist is deeply entrenched in their own distorted reality, making it unlikely for them to ever hold themselves accountable for the harm they cause and answer any posts.

Instead, they typically deflect blame onto others and may even accuse their victims of being narcissists themselves but won't waste time creating posts. They read and hide.

Many narcissists engage in stalking, defamation, and harassment tactics, especially when faced with exposure after a victim seeks counseling or begins to share their story. It's essential to refer to the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder for a comprehensive understanding of this condition.

Some individuals incorrectly label others as narcissists simply because they prioritize self-love, set appropriate boundaries, and refuse to tolerate mistreatment. However, these behaviors are not indicative of narcissistic personality disorder but rather signify self-care and healthy self-esteem.

Nonetheless, never confuse the reaction to narcissistic abuse, when the victim seeks to understand what happened, as them being the narcissist. Most often, when a victim is continually blamed for everything that occurred, they seek answers desperately, reaching out through emails, texts and voice messages and asking questions on social media outlets.

However, the narcissist merely smiles, reveling in the pain and hurt they caused, satisfied with the reaction they elicited. But when the victim finally stands up, leaves, and even more powerfully, tells their story, the narcissist is shaken. They feel the need to discredit the victim by initiating a smear campaign, using any ammunition they collected when the victim trusted them. The information could be over 20 years old but the narcissist is desperate so they will attempt to use a time when…

We can debate back and forth, but narcissists are not good people; they are wicked and driven by self-serving agendas. Before you label someone as a narcissist, understand the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and self-love and care.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #772 on: June 18, 2024, 05:04:32 PM »
Why do you want to
 hurt a narcissist?
>:( :mug: :fencing: :mobbing: :troll2: :ni: :sniper:

💯If I were asked this question 8 years ago, my answer would have been—VERY Dark—Because I was filled with—Rage & Anger—

💯I was at the Brink of Suicide—Completely BROKE, and had Lost EVERYTHING I'd worked so hard for, at the hands of an EVIL Person👺. I had to Flee for My Life with My Kids, and take A Leap of FAITH😇🙏 By starting over in a New City.

Needless to say—😡ANGER is an Understatement of the way I felt.
Now, years later—I'm SO Proud Of Myself—It took GREAT Courage to leave everything behind, and walk away with a Clean Conscience💯

But it is TRUE, The Best and Only Way to Heal from a Toxic/Narcissistic Relation💩 is—WALK AWAY—YES, It is the most satisfying way to dismiss a Narcissist from your life and NOT end up in Prison For Murder💯

WHY?!?

YOU have made one of the most difficult decisions you will EVER Make💯
You have taken Your Power Back💯
You have Realized Your Worth💯
No One can take that away from You💯

—That Is PRICELESS—
______________________________________

Why do you want to hurt a narcissist?
Usually because they have hurt you.
 
The best revenge and the most devastating action you can do is to remove them from your world and move forward in your quest for peace and happiness.
______________________________________


I def want to hurt my narcissist ex.

He ruined my life.
Idk who I am anymore.
He made me so afraid of men that I am too scared to even talk to or with most men.
He kept me from my friends and now I have none.

He physically assaulted me to the point I began involuntarily peeing when he got close to me and aggressive towards me while he was drunk.
Major alcoholic.
He trapped me in his home and if I tried to leave he would corner and manhandle me.
 
He’d get mad bc I am quiet, non engaging in aggressive communication, and avoid arguing.
He told me debating and arguing is fun for him.
 
He constantly tried to pick fights with me, family and his friends.
Often these “fun” arguments with his male friends would end by him beating them up for not agreeing with him.
There was blood splatter on his walls.
He would yell at me for cleaning up the blood bc he said they were fight trophies.
Rude to wait staff.
Nonstop promises, no follow thru.
Skipped all holidays, bdays, plans, and told me work was more important.
Choked me against the front door when I tried to leave.

Huge sexist.
Sleeping with coworkers and lied about it.
He r*ped me.
Intentionally got me pregnant with holes in condoms.
 
Said he's never gonna let me go and will follow me everywhere and he might murder me someday.
He allowed his drunk cousin to pull a gun on me for fun because I wanted to leave.
Weird aggressive convo topics when he was drunk and I was asleep. 
Screamed at me to wake up and keep babbling about whatever it was till 5 6 7 am.
 
Got very aggressive if I wasn't interested in his weird rants.
His screaming & yelling would upset the neighbors who called the cops 3x on him for attacking me and they could hear it and he would accuse me of calling the cops.
 
Threatened to punch me in the face for pushing him off of me one time.
Repeated himself for hours on end, wouldn't let other people talk.
If I expressed concern or unhappiness about anything he had said or done, he'd talk over me, tell me I am just arguing.
Have fits and say I deserved what I got.
 
He never said sorry for anything.
Blamed me for everything.
It was always my fault.

Told all types of people nonsense to make them dislike me.
Cheated on me.

He would drag me to bars to hang out with other women, despite knowing I have severe social anxiety and hate being alone around crowds.
I don't hardly sleep anymore because I'm scared he'll show up.
Every sound I hear in the night wakes me up.

I cant afford to move away, .

I have a shoulder injury that he would intentionally hurt and then tell me to deal with it. I dgaf how or why he has NPD.
I never deserved any of that sh*t.
I have always been a quiet, peaceful, & non confrontational person.
Now I'm stressed and scared all the time and cannot have relationships with anyone cause I have 0 trust for any man.

Why should I not want to hurt him?
I have never wanted to hurt anyone at all but him.
I have never wanted to hurt someone so bad.

And BADLY.

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #773 on: June 18, 2024, 05:36:18 PM »
Why do narcissists want to hurt you?
:rawprawn:

This is my experience being married for 47 years to a Covert Malignant NPD. A NPD wants to hurt you because they are riddled from childhood pain, insecurities, uncertainty, abandonment, anger, frustrations, feelings of being unloved, uncared and not protected as a young child with no validation as to who they are as a person. These feelings are most likely from the result of their parent(s) parenting styles, especially Authoritarian.

This occurs when a child is very young between the young ages of 2–7 years of age when they are developing their personality. A child does not get the love, caring, nurturing that is so critical for a young child to grow up into a healthy, mature adult. So a child’s mind and emotions develop in a mentally disordered way that results in them developing a Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their early adulthood. Sad to say it is a learned behavior from the way they were treated in their childhood.

As a result the child spends their childhood seeing how others live and trying to get their needs met but they lack the ability to love and to care about another person because they lack Emotional Empathy. This is why they do not care if they hurt someone in their life. They are void of those emotions and thus being hurtful, mean and cruel is not a problem for them. They have no conscience in treating others this way.

Thus a child learns to manipulate, lie and cheat to get their needs met. They strive for perfection because they learn what they need to do this to get along in this world and be accepted in life.

When they reach early adulthood they have developed this “Mask of Perfection” that they show to the world. They can be highly functional in their world and that is why their behavior is so confusing. But inside they are riddled with insecurities, uncertainty, pain, anger, feelings of abandonment, lack of protection, frustrations, feelings of being unloved or cared for in their lives.

It is critical for them to keep these painful feelings hidden from the world and they will do anything to hide these feelings from the public. If someone exposes them for who they truly are then that person can be stalked, hurt, traumatized by them and possibly killed. It is never a good idea to expose them.

As they enter their early adult years they realize people get married or have a relationship. So they seek out the people who are kind, loving, caring, supportive, smart, attractive, successful in life and friendly. They believe the people with these qualities will make them look good to the world because they were able to snag this wonderful person.

And now begins their behavior to wine and dine you in the nicest restaurants, shower you with wonderful words of affirmation, show an enormous amount of interest in your life, leave you loving messages on your phone and text how incredible you are, buy you the most thoughtful gifts so much so that you are feeling on top of the world with the love he is showing you. How lucky you feel to be adored and loved by such a perfect man!

They suggest that the two of you are so much alike and that you share the same goals, dreams and aspirations in life. They tell you that your childhood and families are so similar. They suggest why wait another minute…let’s get together and move in or get married sooner than later. Why wait for this miraculous union to be solidified? You think what an incredible life you are going to have with this person.

Slowly but surely, the reality begins to rear it’s ugly head. After a few months you find they are slowly distancing themselves from you. You are not quite sure why but when you ask them, they readily assure you with a plausible reason.

You notice they are showing you some anger for things you never did to him but they accuse you. Then one day you realize they told you a half truth. So you nonchalantly come up to them to discuss the matter with them.

What comes next you are totally unprepared for when they get up into your face and yell at you, “Who do you think you are accusing me of being a liar? I have never lied a day in my life! How dare you think I would lie like that! You know that “Honesty” is my highest virtue in life. So why do you do this? Now I know where the real truth lies…the REAL LIAR IS YOU!!!”

I was totally dumbfounded and frozen with fear! I had never seen such anger from my husband and did not know how to handle it.

What I learned later, this was a “Rage” that is basically a two-year-old temper tantrum that is done to control your behavior or stop you from confronting their behavior and it is done on purpose.

Later on you realize they are accusing you of things they say and does which is called “Projections.” To diffuse your attention to their bad behaviors they then accuse you of their behavior first. Things become so confusing as you try to figure out what is going on. Nothing makes sense!

Then one day you talk about a problem you were having and both of you come to a compromising solution. Three days goes by and you see your NPD behavior has not changed. You go to talk about it and are shocked to find out their explanation.

He tells you that you never talked about that problem ever in your life. He accuses you of making up lies to cause problems and calls you a sick person for making up untruths. I later learned this is called “gaslighting” which is done to mess up your reality and ultimately control you.

The hardest thing for me to wrap my head around was the fact that all the love he was showing me when we were dating was considered “FAKE LOVE” or better known as “LOVE BOMBING.” It was not true love and it was devastating because I held onto that belief that he truly loved me for decades.

You find he wears the “Mask of Perfection” with all these wonderful qualities they show in public but are never seen behind closed doors. So you talk with your family and friends to try and figure out what is going on.

They look at you like something is wrong with you. They cannot understand what you are even talking about because they see such a kind, caring and loving man in your life. So eventually you become isolated and lonely in your marriage and you cannot figure out what is happening to you. You know that he loved you before he married you. He holds honesty as his highest virtue so why does nothing make sense?

You go to medical and psychology libraries along with bookstores (there was no internet or Quora back then) but find nothing that applies. In the 1970s and the 1980s there was nothing about Narcissism or even Narcissistic Personality Disorder that I could find.

The only description of a Narcissist was someone who was flamboyant, arrogant, center of attention, selfish and self-centered and life of the party. That did not describe my husband at all because he was shy, quiet & reserved. So I quickly crossed this off Narcissism as a possible diagnosis.

It was not until 1999 that I found an article on the Internet written by Sam Vaknin that he turned into his book, “Malignant Love.” For the first time in my life I had an inkling of someone was describing and understanding the “Elephant” in my Living Room but I still did not comprehend what was going on. I was so busy working and being a mother and found absolutely no one who believed and understood my story.

My life resulted in being severely depressed, Trauma-Bonded, Complex PTSD and Serious Chronic Stress-Related Illness that turned into major illnesses that seriously affected my everyday life. I had severe autoimmune system, panic attacks and anxiety. I cried myself to sleep every night for decades and I was a total mess devastated deep down to my soul. Where do I go from here?

I went to my doctor and he finally sent me to a psychiatrist who was knowledgeeable in personality disorders. At the end of my first appointment he says to me, “You did nothing wrong in this marriage. You will get well but he never will!” I was shocked by his words because I was told by my husband I was the problem in the marriage and everything was my fault.

So I want to say that a NPD is riddled with so much underlying problems and they search out a good person to validate their “Mask of Perfection” so they can turn around and treat you like an “object” to serve their emotional addictive needs of feeling SUPERIOR over you; POWERFUL over you; CONTROL over you which are qualities that they are addicted to which is called their “supply.”

They need someone to blame for their incredible mistakes. They can never take the blame or responsibility for their behaviors. You and your children will be given emotional abuse or more on a continual basis until you can find the help you need. And by then you are so broken down by this person that you want to die from the incredible pain they deliberately caused in your life.

I was lucky I had a daughter and her husband who saw how he treated me and took me into their life with open arms. You can heal. They will rob you blind of the money that is yours. They think everything belongs to them. They will try to take your children in a divorce court for the sole reason of controlling you. Get full custody for your children. They are too selfish and self-centered to be a good parent.

The truly sad thing about this is that the general public has no clue about these people who have NPD. Unless you have lived with one of these mentally disordered personalities you do not realize the devastation they can do deep down to your soul. They are found all over the world.

This is the world’s deepest secret that will destroy so many people. I want to thank Quora for providing an opportunity for me to write and share my story with a Covert NPD/ASPD for 47 years in hopes of giving other victims hope in their situation and for them to realize they will heal but he never will heal.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #774 on: June 18, 2024, 06:57:35 PM »
:fight:
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #775 on: June 19, 2024, 04:08:51 AM »
@ronaldculley
13 days ago
My MAD ex-narc is fit to model straight jackets.

@carpathianken
12 days ago
My mad ex narc made me feel the need to model stab proof jackets.


Narcissists Are Cowards
(THIS Is What They Fear Most)

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #776 on: June 19, 2024, 04:57:23 AM »
Why Are Narcissists Afraid
of Karma? Even Though They
Always Feel Right




@ronaldculley
What goes around...lies in wait, and when you least expect it..BLAM!  Up yours, Buddy!








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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #777 on: June 19, 2024, 10:33:51 AM »
Narcissistic Relationships:
A Wake-up Call


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAmQAYRzP5E
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #778 on: June 19, 2024, 10:49:14 AM »
:groucho:HEY BUDDY HERE IS THE DEAL I AM MAKING A WHOLE NEW CHANNEL. I WILL BE DOING OTHER CONTENT NO HACK CONTENT. I HAVE AN OFFER FOR YOU I WILL NEVER GO LIVE ON THIS NEW CHANNEL BUT YOU CAN I WILL GIVE YOU ACCESS SO YOU CAN GO LIVE ANYTIME YOU WANT JUST DONT MENTION ME OR DO ANYTHING TO MY CONTENT NO STRINGS ATTACHED LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I AM SETTNG UP LIVESTREAM I HAVE TO WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE LIVE STREAMING CAN HAPPEN

:tello:Acceptable! Thank you!!!

:groucho: I will call you later and we can go over some details awesome this will be fun

:tello:Let the Game Changers Begin!
        "Gentlemen...start your PODCASTS!"



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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #779 on: June 19, 2024, 11:54:33 AM »



:crazy:
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #780 on: June 19, 2024, 09:48:59 PM »
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #781 on: June 19, 2024, 10:03:25 PM »
When you leave a narcissist, what will happen to him/her?

When you leave a narcissist, it makes them feel insulted and humiliated. You have played on a narcissist’s biggest fear of being abandoned.

Narcissists will try their best to keep you in a relationship by making false promises; they'll love bomb you to prevent you from leaving the relationship.

Narcissists will abuse and gaslight you for leaving them. Narcissists will blame you for all the problems to make you feel guilty.

Narcissists will make you feel jealous by bringing other people into relationships to show they have lots of options. If you leave them, then you will lose them forever.

Narcissists may blackmail you by using whatever information or private things they have of yours. Threatening and blackmailing will be common.

Narcissists will run a smear campaign against you and use flying monkeys to abuse you or convince you to stay in a relationship. They will act like a victim.

Stalking, harassing, and aggressive behavior will be common.

If narcissists have forced you to discard them, then they will act like a victim.

Narcissists will look for other options or exes for narcissistic supply.

Every narcissist will behave in a different way. Narcissists don't like when you end the relationship.

After leaving narcissists, go no contact on narcissist forever to avoid drama and chaos.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #782 on: June 19, 2024, 10:19:00 PM »
Covert Narcissist's: The introverted & passive-aggressive Narcissist .. They disregard others while exaggerating their own importance. They also blame, shame, & ignore the feelings & needs of others whilst portraying an angel like image in public while at home they have the resemblance of a sick twisted evil person - Covert Narcissists use emotional abuse. Feeding themselves to inflate the somewhat non existent ego, whilst using you as the source of the supply.

They're desperately trying to survive by feeding off you & mirroring you, getting attention .. Remember it's all about them & what they want - you are nothing to them! Sad reality but .. it's also sadly true, they abuse you more “covertly” masking their “abuse” in sly digs etc masked with passive aggressive remarks .. you sense something is off with this person, you feel that something just doesn't sit right with you ..Deep down your gut & instincts are telling you so. It'll sometimes take years before you finally catch on.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #783 on: June 19, 2024, 10:54:37 PM »
A narcissist doesn't want your love. They don't know what love is. They don't understand the concept of mutual respect, empathy, and genuine connection. Instead, they crave something far more superficial - your admiration and your obedience.

To them, you're not a person with thoughts, feelings, and desires. You're a pawn in their game of self-aggrandizement, a player in their make-believe world of grandeur and superiority. They need you to validate their delusions, to feed their ego, and to worship them as the center of the universe.

They'll charm and manipulate you, using every trick in the book to keep you in their orbit. But don't be fooled - it's not love they're offering. It's a toxic cocktail of control, gaslighting, and emotional exploitation.

They'll demand your attention, your praise, and your devotion. They'll expect you to sacrifice your own needs, desires, and boundaries to cater to their every whim. And if you don't comply, they'll punish you with tantrums, silence, the withdrawal of their "affection" or even worse ....the Narcissistic DISCARD.

But remember, their "love" is a farce. It's a disguise for their own insecurities, their own fears, and their own emptiness. They're not capable of genuine intimacy, of vulnerability, or of true connection. They're only capable of using and discarding, like a puppeteer manipulating their next victim.

So don't fall for the trap. Don't confuse their grandiose gestures with genuine affection. See them for what they are - a master manipulator, a user, and a narcissist. And run, run as fast as you can, before they suck the life out of you.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #784 on: June 19, 2024, 11:21:30 PM »
Will a narcissist try to
get revenge if they've been hurt?

Yes, always. Narcissists are so vengeful when they feel wronged due to their emotional immaturity. This is an important point to understand, as it reveals why narcissistic relationships can never be healthy.

Narcissism is believed to stem from an abusive or neglectful childhood, where the child's emotions and needs were not properly mirrored and validated by their primary caregivers. This leads to the narcissist developing painful feelings of being unlovable, inadequate, and worthless.

When a narcissist feels wronged, these painful emotions get triggered. To protect themselves, they use the defense mechanism of projection - taking their own unacceptable thoughts and feelings and attributing them to the other person instead. By invalidating, devaluing, and degrading you, the narcissist is trying to make you feel as bad as they do on the inside.

In summary, a narcissist's vengeful behavior when they feel wronged is rooted in their emotional immaturity and the need to project their own painful inner experiences onto others to maintain their sense of stability.
___________________________________

If a narcissist is angry at you, watch out. They will actively seek to do you harm.

They will say the most damaging things they can think of to say. They will if totally enraged and come at you with both barrels. They will physically hurt you if they lose control or destroy your property. If they stay in control and worry about consequences to themselves they will revert to covert operations. Covert operations like slice your tires, file false police reports to get you arrested, screw with your job, friends and family. They love to smear your reputation.

They will willfully seek to cause you harm with more energy and determination then you could ever match.

Here’s the kicker: they don’t even need to be mad at you to hurt you. If they are having a bad day, somebody else will too. They will strike out against somebody else to make themself feel better. If they are hurting they will blame somebody else and hurt that person.

If they are malignant they don’t need a reason. They just feed on your misery, making you hurt gets their rocks off. Your misery causes them glee.

As you are devalued you also get punished. Punished for fooling the narcissist for making them think you are perfect; punished for being human; punished for any weakness you show. Punished for loving them. They at their core feel flawed and unlovable. You are therefore flawed for loving them, a punishable offense.

No remorse, no regret for what they do to you. They feel justified when they do something. That’s if they don’t play their mind tricks and compartmentalize it and forget it ever happened. No empathy whatsoever for what they do to you.

Narcissists willfully hurt others.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #785 on: June 19, 2024, 11:28:42 PM »


:tello:
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #786 on: June 19, 2024, 11:52:24 PM »
Is a narcissist ever happy?

Absolutely not.

The problem with narcissists is that they are unsatisfied, jealous, envious, and insecure people. The root causes of unhappiness are unsatisfaction, greed, comparison, and selfishness. Narcissists are never satisfied with what they have.

Narcissists derive happiness from people, money, substance abuse, materialistic things, etc. Once they get what they want, they want more. Narcissists get easily bored with the things they have and start looking for more. Narcissists can't see people doing good because they are pathologically envious and jealous. Narcissists don't even understand that they have to compete with themselves to be better, not with others.

Narcissists plan to lie, steal, cheat, etc. to make themselves satisfied, but in the end, they are never going to be satisfied.

Happiness lies within you; no one can make you happy unless you are happy with yourself. Narcissists want to feel happy by deriving pleasure from other sources. Narcissists are always going to remain unsatisfied and unhappy.
_________________________________

No, never.

They have this void inside. A black hole. They try to fill the void with supply while the black hole engulfs it maintaining the void inside.

Imagine you're starving. You have all the food you ever need but you can only chew it not swallow. This is a narcissists plight.

They are desperate to satisfy the emptiness inside. Constantly needing supply after supply. Each time their need is only briefly met before needing resupply.

They hope that the next supply will be the one to satisfy. It never is. They discard each one for the next. This is how the narcissist lives life.

They will never have what they starve for. The satisfaction of being whole. They can never be happy until that need is met. And for the unsuspecting supply, you suffer the wrath.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #787 on: June 20, 2024, 12:07:32 AM »
REALITY & NARCISSIST don’t belong in the same sentence.
Reality is their enemy, which is why their false self will ALWAYS win.

The Reality of Narcissists

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz38iQ4aBFU
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #788 on: June 20, 2024, 12:32:02 AM »
Why do NARCISSIST think that everyone wants them?

A narcissist lives in a world of delusion.

Not only do they believe their own delusions, but they want you to join them in this. No, actually, the narcissist forces you to believe in this world of lies they inhabit. They do this by presenting a false image.

To be with a narcissist, you have to become delusional yourself.

It's a shared delusion, and not fair at all I'll admit.

The victim comes into the "relationship" with starry, lovestruck eyes. There is no other in their world but the narcissist.

The narcissist plays the part perfectly (at first), and seems like a genuine, honest individual.

Nothing could be further from the truth. What lies beneath the narcissist's personality is a wicked, hateful, deceitful, lying scumbag.

So they lied to you and didn't play fair. The perfect person is actually a piece of trash.

Anyone who has been with a narcissist knows this. They know what utter garbage narcissists are.

Narcissists are a far cry from the image they initially present. They're just pretending, and by lying to you, by presenting this image, they get you to participate in the delusion.

You have to break the spell. Break through the "glass darkly" that the narcissist presents, and they will show you who they really are.

Absolute trash and filth.
____________________________________

The narcissist is the most special person on Earth. There’s nobody more knowledgeable, beautifully crafted, and all Good as them. Their entitlement, grandiosity, and feelings of superiority are unmatched.

The narcissist believes they are the center of the universe. They are the sun and we are all the planets, revolving around him. Who wouldn’t want to be with such a magnificent specimen? They feel you are lucky they chose you, you beat out All the others.

That’s their gift to you. They are allowed to be with, take, and use Anyone and Anything because we were All put on this Earth to serve and please them. The narcissist is what we All want. There is no other.🙄👀🤮 That's why.
_____________________________________

They are the best looking, sexiest, cleverest most desirable person ever.

If you start a relationship with one, it will be the best relationship ever for them, not you.




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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #789 on: June 20, 2024, 04:56:27 AM »
Are narcissistic people bad deep down, or are they just incredibly insecure?

It is not just insecurity. If it was, enough love and caring would reassure them, and make them nice to you - but that never happens.

It is a disorder, and a very serious one for the partner and anyone else who gets close to the narcissist.

Because the narcissist is incapable of love or empathy, they simply use others for what they can get out of them - a domestic servant, an acolyte, a social circle, money- whatever. Then, when they have squeezed the target dry, or they get bored, or they get a better offer, or the target queries something they say or do, they dump that target, to move onto a new one (New SUPPLY).

That is why narcissists have a kind of revolving door of best friends, jobs, and relationships - either they are moving on, in their shark-like way, or they are being found out and forced into it. A lot of narcissists have multiple marriages, many children with different partners, and a succession of friendships which last only a few years.

So please, if you have a narcissist somewhere in your life, read more about the disorder. It will help you deal with them and understand why you should never get too close to one.

I like "Is There A narcissist In Your Life?"
Amanda Clymont
Amazon.

It will open your eyes to their systems and all the tricks they use to fool people, for a while.
________________________________

Narcissists are all VERY insecure, BUT that is not an excuse to do evil against others.

Many of us are insecure.
Many of us have been abused.
And we didn’t grow up to be hurtful to others.

So are they “bad”? From my experience - they most definitely are.

WHY? Because they CHOOSE to harm others w/o remorse. Is it their fault? I say YES! Maybe they didn’t have the best upbringing - where they learned to be thoughtful of others, etc…but that just isn’t a valid excuse for me anymore.

I’ve seen the harm they are capable of doing to others, and just keep doing it. They do NOT learn. I used to feel sorry for them, but no more. Why? Because they use the compassion others give to them to further harm them. And again, they just don’t get it. They do NOT learn.

They were raised to never really grow up and become healthy responsible people. They are selfish, spoiled, angry, abusive, self-centered & self-righteous toddlers in an adult body.

They use and abuse others without restraint. They live between 4 & 14 years old depending on what they want in the moment. And again, AGAIN - they don’t learn.

They learn how to do worse things, but they just don’t learn how to do better. Why? Partly because they are most often pathological liars who also believe their own lies. So how does someone improve when they convince themselves that it is always everyone else's fault(s) for all their problems? They just lie some more. Lie to themselves and lie to YOU!

Also they have zero respect for others. If you care about them, forgive them. Try to help them…..they see you as a sucker to be used. If you get angry and call them out of their BS - then you are a b*tch or an a-hole, who deserves to be abused. That is who narcissists are. It’s up to you to label them “good” or “bad”.

Bottom line is they ARE harmful to your well being - and I would avoid them as much as possible!
_______________________________________

My answer is my opinion based on my experience.

They are incredibly insecure. The more I learn about narcissism and what I lived through for 20 years the more contradictory it becomes. I think that's on purpose too, just like everything else surrounding these…..people.

Narcissists are just people that like to look in the mirror at themselves right? That's what I always thought narcissism was. They believe themselves to be so beautiful they just can't get enough of themselves. I've learned the hard way that what goes up must come down too.

It's all meant to do exactly what it does. Confuse, frustrate, deflect, divert, distract, and some other action words I can't think of right now. It's all in the design. And the design is to allow concealment. They are walking, talking, contradictions in the shape of humans.

Everything about them contradicts. Their words and actions. Their meaning. Their intent. It's all meant to send us on a wild goose chase. They start a fire and run out the back door and we are holding the matches.

They require excessive amounts of adoration yet they don't want us too close. They need us to be dependant on them but not actually need anything. They can't provide for our needs but they want us to believe they can. They expect us to give them everything we are and hate us for giving it to them.

Are they bad?
More like mad.
 
Mad that they built their straw house on sand. Mad they don't have the things required to be a real human. Mad that they have to get it from others. I would be mad too if I had to live everyday of my life manipulating people to make me feel like something.
Pffttt.
They're not about anything.

They need us. And they hate us because they need us. They envy us. So they destroy what they can ever be. But just like everything else with these…. people, they can not understand what REALLY makes us tick.

They don't know we have the ability to take what they dish out. They don't realize until it's to late how strong we really are. The sh!t they have heaped on us would crush them in 2.5 seconds. Think about that. They are not strong enough to handle what they do to us. And they hate us because we can take it. We take it and make a mockery of their best attempts. Because. They ain't sh!t. And never will be sh!t. But they are sh!t.

They're insecure because, try as they might, we just keep on ticking. Reminding them of what they are not.
 
Strong.
Real.
Genuine.

And when their best attempts fail to make us otherwise, it infuriates them and we suffer the consequences. Do yourself a favor. Leave them to whatever it is they're doing. Choose you. Rise up. And move on.

Whether it's insecurity or just plain bad it doesn't matter. It's wrong, that's what it is. And it's only going to get worse.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #790 on: June 20, 2024, 07:08:20 AM »
Why do narcissists always make people feel like they have done something wrong?

The determining factor is control. Walking around with a face like fizz kind of keeps us on edge in a perpetual state of walking on eggshells. More often than not, too scared to broach the subject in case we get out heads bitten off or they just prolong the sulk.

For sure these are miserable people at the best of times but they know exactly what they’re doing and they have you where they want you, which is under their thumb. The narcissist in your life is bored. On the one hand glad to see the back of you but on the other fully aware that they could never last two minutes on their own and who else would put up with this sh!t the way you do?

No doubt pisses you off the way they can change in public and morph into a different human being altogether but that’s narcissists for you. Chameleons personfifed.

Suggest reading chapter ‘Narcissists and control’ in book entitled:
"Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist".
Available at Amazon Books.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #791 on: June 20, 2024, 09:48:53 AM »
Falling Down was
PROPAGANDA

Joel Schumacher's 1993 film Falling Down has acquired a certain reputation as a cult classic. It's been discussed from various angles, but most of those discussions have taken for granted that William Foster (DFENS) is a villain. This analysis will challenge that reading, not so much by arguing that Bill is NOT a villain, but by showing how his transformation INTO villain is a manipulation meant to poison the well against certain kinds of social dissatisfaction.

In effect, my intent here is to expose Falling Down as a work of political propaganda by discussing its historical context and relating it to some relevant sociological and political works, demonstrating that, even if Bill dies the bad guy, his critique of society still has teeth.


@Antractica
3 months ago (edited)
What's really terrible is that every issue brought up in this movie has gotten indescribably worse in the past 30 years.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #792 on: June 20, 2024, 02:07:20 PM »
:tello: "Narc or Self-Care?"


DISCOVER HOW YOUR HAIR
AFFECTS YOU SPIRITUALLY

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #793 on: June 20, 2024, 02:29:15 PM »
Projection will tell you everything you need to know
about a Narcissist.

Narcissists and Projection: When The Narcissist Places Their Feelings
or Behavior
On You

:neener:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmWrKnK2PGQ



@tedschmitt178
4 years ago
It is much easier for narcissists to say and believe that others hate them, rather than admitting that they hate themselves.


@Nancy-yw1rr
4 years ago
They can't take ZERO criticism without going ballistic, but they dish it out in spades. They are extremely hypocritical.
I have had that experience (MANY times) where I have been falsely accused of thinking horrible thoughts about him when I have made a simple request or dared to offer a different opinion. It's totally insane.


@alexanderrenz329
4 years ago
How coldly and flatly they deny they're behaviour and attribute it to you is scary. Its suffocating to be raised by passive aggressive covert narcs. They're monsters who suck the will to live out of you.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #794 on: June 20, 2024, 03:34:49 PM »
Narcissists

They are lonely. They really do not have genuine friends.

They are always bored.

They have an addiction that keeps them away from my point 2.

They have a very low self esteem.

All narcissists are cheaters !

They sleep around randomly because of self validation and really do not enjoy any intimate.

They use lies to manipulate people.

It is difficult to detect a narcissist because of their high charisma and fake kindness.

They cannot feel your pain!

They can only idealize or infatuate you, they do not have the ability to love!
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #795 on: June 20, 2024, 03:39:32 PM »
 

:mobbing: FJB
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #796 on: June 21, 2024, 03:35:04 AM »
The ability to relate to other humans is what makes us…human.
Narcissists & Main Character Syndrome (And What This Means For You)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjTOqopDxow
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #797 on: June 21, 2024, 04:07:38 AM »
Do you feel hate from a narcissist?

Narcissists really know how to hate. A deep kind of hatred that is not human. If you slight them in any manner, pay back is huge. Completely out of proportion and ready to destroy you. Even if it means they will suffer consequences. But you must pay.

And hey, for anyone to reciprocate love received with the type of behavior that narcissists are capable of, sorry but to me that is also a type of hatred.

A hatred that you exist. A hatred that you do not live a low level and frustrated life like they do.
_____________________________________

More hatred than you've ever felt in your life!

After many years with a malignant narcissist I felt hatred from an emotional ,spiritual and practical way. Did I tolerate too much?

Of course!

I had a son though and was never going to leave him alone so I did what I did.

As with everything narcissistic you are trained to accept scraps. I'm healed now and still struggle with why ? I had loyalty to my son but maybe I could have dealt with it differently.

I used to think ‘ she hates everyone but hates me less then them’. How sad . That's what I lived off. That was the version of love I accepted .

It's the constant that is mind blowing when it comes with the hatred . Constant pain bombs that never end. While you are recovering from one , another is landed. Its why you never catch up and the fog worsens.

Even when they are not dropping bombs it's like there's a unsettling , unnerving feeling at all times.

I always liken narcissistic abuse to radiation.

They both contaminate everything it reaches.

They are both invisible.

They both kill.

They both cause agony.

They both cause hairloss.

They both cause multiple strains of cancer.

If only there was a narcissistic Geiger counter!




Does it even bother you when a narcissist hates you?

It use to. Until I realized their hate is actually jealousy. They are jealous of what you have inside you. They can not self reflect nor have empathy. The more you realize that these people are in their heads and just making everyone else feel how they feel so they can feel better… the less you are affected by their games.
_________________________________

Narcissists are bullies who want to take away your happiness. They are unable to feel happiness, and your happiness hurts their feelings.

The closest they get to happiness is the feeling of glee that they get in wrecking, sabotaging and obstructing the happiness of others.

Trying to repair their feelings is an impossible task, they will reward your attempts with abuse.

It is much better to use the narcissist as fuel to increase your own happiness. Use their provocations to get you off your fat bottom, and doing the things you need to get done. By being Superior to them is how you bully the narcissist.

Smile — they're watching,
___________________________________

A lot of narcissists hate me. It’s OK because I don’t want them to like me. If they liked me, then they would want to hang around me. If they want to hang around me, then I’m felafelled because I have to spend time with him. If I was in love with a narcissist however, then it would probably bother me. But that’s life, you win some and you lose some.
_______________________________________

Why even bother being bothered? Haters hate.Such is their lot.

If a narcissist feels so inclined to seek to go “salting the Earth” let them eat mud. Narcissists do love to spread fake sweetness, at least during the lovebombing phase.

Doh … let them eat and own their own fake cake. Don’t bother revisiting the Narc personalised landscape version of Sodom and Gomorrah… craftily created for you … and you … and you.

Let it go and leave the hateful cake to consume them a lot.

Don’t t fan their flames … don’t dig around. Just leave them in the dust of your past.

What a Lot of saltiness they will inherit … karma is a match that always strikes back.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #798 on: June 21, 2024, 04:30:18 AM »
You know when doctors, psychologists and therapists say that they can’t even help these people, because they are DEMONIC !
Narcissists: Demons Walking Around in Human Form

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #799 on: June 21, 2024, 04:42:11 AM »

:popcorn:
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